Page 170 of Anathema
“And just how do you plan to fool the king’s mages? What tricks do you have that will keep me veiled from those who want to turn my blood to stone?”
She leaned against the doorframe, her expression more serious than before. “You’ll be masked. Your scent. Your face. Your aura. They won’t know you from any other Lunasier.”
“You promise. This is entirely foolproof.”
“Well, nothing’s entirely foolproof, but I would not endeavor to put you in danger.”
It was a foolish plan, but I had other motives driving my thoughts. Motives that were worth the risk. If I stayed, I’d be shipped off to an island, farther away from my sister. “I’ll go with you on one condition.”
“Yes?”
“You help me get back to the woods.”
She huffed. “No deal.” Sipping her drink, she sauntered off into her room, taking a seat in front of the burning hearth.
“What do you mean, no deal?” I asked, following after her. “I’m offering to go with you. I’ll stay with you. And then you’ll cleave me to the woods.”
“Are you serious? You can just … leave? Everything?” Her eyes flickered, as if wounded by the suggestion.
“I’ve told you from the start what was important to me.”
“Yes, you did, Maevyth. You’ve absolutely made that clear.” Jaw set to a stubborn angle, she pressed her lips together. “I’m not taking you.”
Vision wobbling with tears, I sat down in the chair across from her, both of us watching the fire. “I can’t give up on her, Rykaia. I won’t. I have this strange and nagging sense that she’s still alive. It’s difficult to explain, but … I need to return to her.”
Jaw tight, she kept her eyes fixed on the flame, not bothering to respond.
I sighed, hands fidgeting in my lap. “You don’t want me to leave. I know that’s why you’ve been playing matchmaker with Zevander and me.”
“Do not ask me to do this, Maevyth. Do not ask me to do this.”
“I have no one else to ask. Everyone seems to have some reason to keep me here, but you’re all forgetting this isn’t my home.”
“This is your home!” she snapped, quickly looking away. “You’ve said it before, your home is cruel and punishing. You came here for a reason, Maevyth. It’s your fate. There’s a plan for you.”
“It’s not my fate!” That time, I was the one who snapped. “I don’t believe in fate. It’s done nothing but curse me my entire life. So, forgive me if I don’t give a damn about what it has planned for me.”
“I have a million reasons, myself, but I believe. And if you think I’m letting you saunter off and risk that you’ll never come back, you’ve underestimated just how much of a bitch I can be.” Eyes watering, lips peeled back into a snarl, she looked away.
“Once I find my sister, I promise you, I’ll return.”
“That is a promise you cannot keep. And what if your gut feeling is wrong?”
“Rykaia, look. I understand–”
“You don’t understand. You will never understand. Because you can’t.” She swiped at her cheek, as though embarrassed by her tears. “I have the power to take every sad day you’ve ever had and turn them into nothing more than a distant dream for you. Yet, I cannot share my pain with you. I cannot show you what horrible things live inside me. Things I have to live with—” Lips slammed shut, she swallowed hard, but the quiver in her chin belied her efforts to fight back the emotions. “But since you’ve been here, I feel less burdened by them. So, do not ask me to do this. I cannot be the one to see you off, because the moment you leave is when my hell begins again.” She shook her head. “And I don’t care if that’s selfish of me to say.”
An ache bloomed in my chest. I knew the loneliness, the panic of losing someone in the darkness. I’d felt it in a literal sense as I’d chased after Aleysia that night in the woods, and again when I’d crossed over without her. Like a chunk of my heart had been torn away.
Across the gap that separated us, I reached for her hand. “Tell me what horrible things you’ve suffered. And I will do my best to take some of the pain.”
Her face twisted in anguish, and she lowered her gaze. The heartrending sound of her weeping pulled at my ribs. I slid from my chair and fell to my knees in front of her, drawing her in as I wrapped my arms around her. At first, she didn’t move, but then I felt her clutch my arms as if she were clinging to a lifeline.
“Every night I close my eyes, all I see …” She choked on a sob, her fingers digging into me as she pulled me tighter.
“Tell me, Rykaia.”
“I see … the horrible things they did to her. My beautiful mother. They forced me to hold her hand through it all. And I felt everything she felt. The fear. The humiliation. The hopelessness.” Her body shook against me, and I blinked back my own tears, refusing to let her go. “I tried to block it out, but I couldn’t. It was all I could feel.” Another sob wracked her body, her tears wet on my shoulder. “I felt the apology. She apologized to me while they destroyed her. While they tore into her without a shred of remorse. Until I finally felt her life fade. I was holding her hand when she died.”