Page 170 of Capuleto

I clenched my fingers against the sheets, searching for the right words to say.

I didn’t need to open my mouth because Irisha stepped forward. She ran to the bed and started crying as if all the water on Earth was concentrated in her blue eyes. She melted against me, muttering "I'm sorry" repeatedly in a loop.

I looked at my mother, not quite understanding the reason for this behavior. There was nothing she needed to apologize for; on the contrary, if anything, it was I who owed them some apologies, along with an explanation of why I killed a member of our own family.

Irisha and I didn’t have an exceptional bond, so I felt uncomfortable with her tears. I didn't know what to say or how to act. My mother sensed my disturbed state and asked my sister to calm down, saying that she was upsetting me and the nurse had told them to keep me calm.

My sister did her best to calm down. Even so, it was hard for her, with too many accumulated tears. When she managed to maintain a reasonable breathing rhythm, I dared to ask:

"Can you tell me what's going on?" I looked at both of them.

My mother opened her purse and handed me a photograph.

"Judge for yourself. Here is the woman who dealt behind your back with the Mentium and caused the Capulets to distrust you even more."

I frowned in puzzlement; I had assumed that Yuri and Irene had been behind the distribution of Mentium and that the photo would show Irene in disguise, but when I saw the image, my eyes widened.

"But how is this possible?" I muttered incredulously. I recognized the woman as a member of my family, the carefree and somewhat dreamy girl who had just bathed me in tears. "Irisha? You?"

I couldn’t believe it. She made a move to cry again, and my mother stopped her, telling her that if she had been brave enough for some things, she now had to be brave for others.

She hiccuped and let out a long sigh before giving her halting explanation.

"I know what I'm going to say is no excuse, and you have every right to be angry with me and never speak to me again if you don't want to, but I swear I didn't do it with bad intentions."

"Speak," I responded curtly. I wasn’t going to judge her motives without hearing the explanation.

My mother handed her a handkerchief. She dried her tears and began her story.

"I've always felt left out," she confessed, sniffling. "Everyone seemed to have a role in the family except me. Yuri was the heir; you were the one who stopped at nothing and achieved everything you set your mind to, and Sarka, the youngest, with an innate talent for arts and sciences, whom we had to care for, spoil, and protect from the day she displaced me and took the place I held until then. And what was my role to be after that? I didn't seem to fit anywhere. I wasn't a boy, I didn't have your boldness, nor was I the princess. If I got close to you or Yuri, I became a nuisance, and if I hovered around Sarka, I annoyed her because I either disturbed her sleep or angered her by taking her toys. I spent years acting out of jealousy, throwing tantrums, because deep down, I did feel envious."

"Are you trying to tell me that the Mentium deal was revenge because I made you feel left out?" I asked.

"No! It wasn't that! On the contrary! I had spent years trying to find something to show you all that the Koroleva name ran through my veins too."

"And you decided that something was selling a drug I had ordered destroyed behind my back?" She shrugged, grimacing.

"It sounds horrible now, especially with what has happened, but when I came across that internet ad from a guy looking to buy all the Mentium boxes people might have in their homes, in exchange for a substantial sum, I didn't think about the consequences, only that with everything in the factory's warehouse, I could help."

"Help?"

"I knew you didn't want to marry Romeo, so maybe, if I improved the family's finances with the resale of Mentium, you could divorce and be happy. I know it sounds sappy and absurd; I shouldn't have acted on my own, now I know that."

"You did it for me?" I blinked in astonishment. She nodded in shame.

"All the responsibility fell on you since Dad died. No one offered to shoulder the burden so you wouldn't have to spend the rest of your life with a man you were incapable of loving. I thought about how lonely I had felt and that surely, you were feeling the same way. Taking on a role you didn't want. I watched you throughout the wedding and at the breakfast the next day. I saw your anger, your rage, and at times, even sadness. It was the closest I ever felt to you. And then Juliet told me she hoped you and her brother could come to understand each other because he hated having to marry you, and she adored you. I believed that one of us deserved to do something to get you out of the mess and not just stand by. After all, it wasn't fair that all the weight fell on your shoulders. The easiest thing was to help you get a good sum and thus be able to free yourself from..."

"The Capulets." She nodded.

"I'm sorry. I'm a fool and useless; I'm not cut out for these things. I shouldn't have done what I did. That guy died because of me, and I can't forgive myself for it. Nothing I do turns out right!"

"How did you know the access codes to the warehouse? And why did you dress up like me with mom's terrible taste in clothes?"

My mother raised her eyebrows.

"You wish you had my taste and not that of a woman with the scent of venereal disease."

"Some of us seem that way; others are. How long has it been since you had a full check-up, mother?" I blinked innocently. She snorted.