Page 174 of Capuleto
All my senses were focused on that extraordinary creature, who with slightly tousled hair and full lips, took me to unimaginable limits.
"I’m not going to ask for your forgiveness again for what I did," she admitted seriously. "I’ve apologized so many times that I’ve exhausted my reserves." I didn’t want her to do that, quite the opposite.
"Nikita, I…"
"Let me speak; I know exactly what I want to say, and now you seem willing to listen." She was reminding me of my lack of attention when I had kept her naked and imprisoned in our own room. I owed her, I owed her so many things that it was easiest to start with this. I nodded to let her speak freely.
"We didn't start off on the right foot. Too much thirst for revenge, too many burdens on our shoulders, and even though there was a moment during our trip to Greece when I thought everything fit together, life sent me a reality check that completely threw me off." Terror froze my heart in my chest, thinking about what was coming next.
"Integrating my brother into the equation of our marriage was one of the trickiest things I've ever had to face. However, the worst part was losing your love because of me. I didn't know that loving so viscerally could hurt so much until I met you.
"I'm not going to lie to you, I had kissed many lips before yours, but I never wanted to stay and live in a kiss." I went to speak, but her fingers pressed against my mouth. "You hurt too much, amore, right here," she pointed to her chest. "Every decision you make affects me in a way that escapes my reason. That's why I think it's best if we divorce."
"Because I disgust you? Because you can't forgive what I've done to you?" I spat out uncontrollably. "I swear, Nikita, if you just try…" She smiled calmly.
"No, you're mistaken, I don't have to forgive you for anything. Everything is very clear on my part. Why do you think I want the divorce?" she questioned, waiting for my response.
"So you never have to see me again in your damn life," I concluded painfully, "and you're well within your rights. I was the one who opened the door for it, although, to be frank, what I was seeking was the opposite." She laughed hoarsely.
"Oh, amore, as smart as you are, you understand so little about me. If I want a divorce, it's to show you that no matter how much you want to separate from me, no matter how much our battles hurt, I choose your mouth over any other, no matter how comfortable it might be. I want to fight by your side, through thick and thin; that's why I want to sign and accept the ring you gave me along with the commitment to marry you, because I love you." The rhythm of my heartbeat had become deafening. Was it possible that she could forgive me so easily and even love me? "You always learn from your mistakes, and I can't think of a better life plan than spending it by your side. It's not going to be a bed of roses, but what would a beautiful rose be without its thorns?" It couldn't be that easy, it just couldn't be… "What's wrong? Are you having a heart attack? Should I call the nurse?"
"The only nurse I need is right in front of me," I sighed, releasing the breath I had been holding. "Every rose is always preceded by a bud, and this one is meant for you." She laughed again. How I adored her enveloping laughter. "I don't know what I've done to deserve you, but I do know that I won't let go of you no matter how many obstacles arise, and once we remarry, forget about divorcing again."
"I have no intention of doing so."
"Wonderful, because in the coming years I plan to do nothing but love you, fuck you, and kill people by your side."
"Mmm, you turn me on so much when you get romantic. Have I ever told you that killing people is one of my greatest virtues?"
I pulled her towards me and melted into her mouth, as it could only be, giving my heart with every touch, every lick, every caress.
Because villains fall in love too, and I had fallen in love with mine.
Epilogue
We were ono our way home.
Romeo was driving, and my hand was wrapped around his on the gear shift.
The same hand that now wore that wonderful engagement ring, because yes, we had divorced.
His father raised hell, but neither R nor I cared.
We were planning a much more intimate second wedding, just as we told Massimo. There was no need for "the family" to know. To those outside our close circle, we would remain married, even though we no longer were. This was just for us, because our hearts knew they belonged to each other, and that bond was indissoluble.
My father-in-law kept his word and called Don Giuliano, just as his son had asked. I know the meeting was tense, with some disagreements, but after hearing what had happened and the brothers-in-law debated fiercely, the family's matriarch slammed her fist on the table to end the discussion.
Both fell silent to hear her judgment.
"You should be ashamed of this argument," she stated. "The conduct of Nikita Koroleva would honor any member of the 'Ndrangheta. If you don't see it, you should schedule an appointment with an eye doctor. That woman has shown more courage, daring, and loyalty than many of your men. Of course, no one is going to lay a hand on my new granddaughter. She has my protection, so whoever dares to raise a hand against her will be as if they raised it against me, and I will act accordingly. End of discussion."
Salvatore, who was present, grimaced. Don Giuliano frowned at his mother, earning a reprimand because a mamma was not to be looked at that way, and her will was to be respected. They had no choice but to yield and cover the incident with a veil of omissions.
They would weave a narrative tailored to the circumstances. My doubts about dismantling my husband's empire had never existed. My virtues, which had led me to eliminate the Calabrian mafia's number one enemy, would be extolled. Nikita Koroleva defied and killed her own brother to favor them, and that was all that mattered.
The song playing on the radio, "Can't Hold Us Down" by Christina Aguilera Ft. Lil' Kim, made me think of Cheng.
So I'm not supposed to have an opinion?