Page 24 of Bright We Burn

Radu’s.

Lada’s.

And Mehmed’s.

Bursa

RADU COULD NOT GET off the boat fast enough. For once it was not because he was sick, but because of who was waiting for him. He had been at the bow, searching the horizon since dawn. As soon as he saw Bursa in the distance, it was all he could do not to jump out and swim. Knowing he would be far slower than the boat kept him onboard.

They drew closer, alongside the city—one he had visited with Nazira, before Constantinople—and the wind whipped at Radu’s face, as frenzied as his anticipation. Finally, they approached the dock.

Radu saw a familiar figure, as bright and welcome as spring.

He jumped over the side of the boat, landing hard on the dock. Nazira met him halfway. He threw his arms around her, lifting her off the ground and spinning her in a circle. He did not know whether he was laughing or crying. After a few minutes of embracing, Radu released her. He cupped her face in his hands and studied it. She was browner than she had been—evidence of more time in the sun than usual—and her clothes were in colors she would never have picked out for herself, but she looked healthy. There were no haunted hollows beneath her eyes, no suppressed terrors in the full sweet circle of her lips.

“Nazira, I—”

She put one hand over his mouth. “Please do not apologize. I know you. You have probably carried nothing but guilt all these months, tearing yourself apart. But you did it. You got us out safely. We survived, which means we are alive to heal and grow.”

Radu sighed, hanging his head and shifting her hand so it rested on his cheek. “The whole time we were in Constantinople together, that was my only prayer. That whatever else happened, you would be safe.”

“God is good,” Nazira said, smiling.

Radu had not looked for anyone else but Nazira. Now, however, with his heart filled to bursting at the sight of her healthy and well and alive, he had room to wonder. “Valentin and Cyprian, did they—”

“They are not here. But they are alive, too.”

A shudder passed through Radu. The release of the guilt and terror was a physical sensation, and he felt close to collapse. Nazira took his hand, as unwilling to let go of him as he was of her, and led him to a jumble of stones near the water where they could sit. They had last been here together watching Mehmed’s armada. Back when Radu thought he knew what the future held, when Constantinople was simply a goal. Not a blood-soaked reality.

Touching his turban, Nazira searched his face. “It is good to see you back in this. It is good to leave behind pretending.” She looked down at her own clothes. “Sometimes when I dream, I am still wearing the styles of Constantinople. When I wake up, I cannot breathe.”

She shook her head as though waking. “How is Fatima?”

Radu put an arm around her, drawing her close. He did not think he would ever let her go again. Except to give her to Fatima. “She is well,” he said, gently. “I sent word to her that I was bringing you back, but I did not have time to go and get her.”

Nazira wiped beneath her eyes. “I have missed her so much. But I knew that you would take care of her. It has made the missing bearable. It was simply sadness, not sadness and fear.”

“She never lost hope. She is made from it, I think.”

Nazira laughed and nodded, her head bobbing against Radu’s shoulder. “She is. She is my light that never goes out. And you are the glass that protects our flame.” Nazira kissed him on the cheek. “I have been in Bursa for three days. I waited here at the docks for each of them, knowing you would come. When Mara Brankovic’s man arrived to bring me here, I parted ways with Cyprian and Valentin. I do not know where they are now. I was sorry to leave them. They have become family.”

Radu knew they should go find horses to return to Fatima as fast as possible, but he was still unsteady and needed a few minutes for his body to accept the truth of Nazira’s safety. “Tell me everything that happened since you left. Please.”

“First, tell me: Did you save them? Constantine’s nephews?”

Radu nodded, gazing at the cloud-strewn sky above. He had left Nazira with Cyprian to go back into the city and save the two boys. It had been a gamble for all of them. Radu risked his life for what could have been a futile mission, and he risked Nazira’s by trusting Cyprian with her care even after Radu had revealed their treachery. But that had never felt like a risk. He had known then as he did now that Cyprian would never do anything to hurt them.

It was perhaps more than they deserved, and it made missing Cyprian hurt all the more. “I did. And they were spared the greater part of the carnage and terror. They are part of Mehmed’s court now, renamed Murad and Mesih. They are happy.”

Nazira squeezed his hand. She did not ask for details, and he would not offer them. She had seen enough during their flight to know better than to want more images from that nightmare. “I would say you did the right thing, but I think under those circumstances ‘right’ ceased to exist. You did a good thing, though. How is the city?”

“Flourishing. As we knew it would under Mehmed’s careful care.”

“And how is the sultan?”

Radu gently nudged her. “You do not have to speak as though you are a surgeon exploring a wound. I have had no one to talk to, no one who knows everything I am. Please let us drop all pretenses.”

Nazira nudged him back with her elbow. “Very well. How has it been, being reunited with him?”