Page 100 of Jesse's Girl
“You like when I play with your hair?”
“Play with it, pull it. All the things. Just pet me and I’m happy.” I kiss his neck again.
“Okay, noted,” he says with an audible smile as he rubs my back. “So, about that throbbing manhood thing…”
I sit back. “Jesse, so help me God, I just spent that whole time trying to fight my gag reflex…”
22
JESSE
Ithink Marcus might actually piss himself laughing. Apparently, the book was Renee’s. He hadn’t read it and, like me, had no idea it got… explicit. Now he’s doubled over on the shoreline of Black Bear River, wheezing and barely able to look at me.
“You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?” I fold my arms over my chest and shake my head. Facing Marcus for the first time since Ada and I slept together has turned out to be less fraught than I’d anticipated, but it worries me how easily I’m lying to my best friend.
“Oh, shit,” he says, wiping tears from his cheeks. “No wonder Renee was jumping my bones so much while she was reading that one.” His eyes slip back to mine and another fit of laughter threatens.
“Just thought you were secretly into that kind of thing,” I say, smacking him upside the head on my way to help unpack his car.
“What’s the author’s name?” he calls after me and I flip him off over my shoulder. “Aw, c’mon! Renee’s birthday is coming up! Is it a series, or what?”
I meet Renee at the car and help her unload a cooler of beer and sodas for our afternoon at the river.
“I heard my name,” she says as she pulls a few bags of snacks from the back seat. “What were you guys talking about?”
Marcus appears at my side, all too happy to fill her in. “Jess was just telling me about the book he’s been reading.” He slings an arm over her shoulder and turns his shit-eating grin on me.
Renee’s interest clearly piqued, she asks, “Oh, yeah? What book?”
“Let’s not set this dumbass off again.” I lift my chin at Marcus.
Despite my suggestion to drop it, he fills Renee in.
“Oh, yeah, wow!” Renee says. “Paper Shadows? That one gets spicy in the middle!”
“Yeah, well, I… I didn’t realize that when I started reading it.” I heft the cooler with a grunt, bracing the weight on my hips, and turn back to the floating dock. I try not to think about what went down after that book got spicy.
“You need some help, man?” Marcus calls after me, probably still snickering at my expense.
“I got it.” The cooler is fucking heavy but I power through, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. Slowly, I make my way back to where he’s set up a few camping chairs and towels.
Marcus and Renee follow, bringing the food and picnic blankets.
Eager to change the topic, I grab a beer from the cooler and pull the tab, taking a sip for courage. I swallow, then ask in the most casual tone I can manage, “When’s Ada coming?” I busy myself with shifting one of the chairs toward me and take a seat, keeping my eyes fixed on the mountains across the river to avoid seeming too interested in the answer.
“She said she had plans with Katie and could meet us here after. Like around one thirty,” Marcus says. “What, she didn’t tell you this morning?”
“Nah, we were, uh,”—I pause and clear my throat, trying not to hate myself as the memories of our morning together flash into my mind—“talking about other stuff. Forgot to ask.”
We were talking, alright.
I press my lips together, remembering how Ada had begged me to fuck her hard. How she’d moaned my name when I’d pushed inside her. How I’d had to cover her mouth when she came so Mr. Wozniak wouldn’t hear her screaming. How we’d lain in bed afterward and how easy it had felt—how it always feels—to be with her like that.
Guilt coils around my abdomen like a boa constrictor and the heat of the mid-August sun suddenly feels oppressive. I imagine Marcus staring directly into my brain, reading my thoughts and finding out the truth. I try to shove away the paranoia eating at me.
I’m the world’s worst best friend. Thanks for the beer; I’m fucking your sister.
“I’m gonna go in.” Too antsy to stay put any longer, I stand, then slide my beer into the chair’s cup holder. A swim will help me clear my head. This dock is upstream from where we went paddleboarding, and the water’s much deeper—and colder—here. I peel off my shirt.