Page 34 of Jesse's Girl
Tearing my gaze from his, I focus on my plate once again.
“Ooh!” squeals Renee, clapping her hands together with a saccharine glee I can’t share. “I’m so excited! I’ll text Kristen after dinner.”
“Should we serve up the tiramisu?” Dad asks, and Mom stands to pass around the dessert plates.
Murmured answers sound around the table and I stare past my glass of wine. There’s too much to process from just the last ten minutes.
Did I really agree to live with Jesse? Did he just agree to go on dates with Renee’s friends? Also, what the fuck is Marcus’ problem? My stomach lurches again at the thought that he might be picking up on my attraction to Jesse. Shit.
No. This is fine. This is all fine. We’ll live together—temporarily. It doesn’t need to be complicated. Jesse seeing Renee’s friends is also fine. He can do whatever he wants, and whoever he chooses to date—or fuck—doesn’t impact me at all.
And yet, I can’t help but frown at the thought.
“Ada?” Mom’s voice interrupts my thoughts as she passes me a small plate. “Have you started on those applications I sent you? The deadline’s long gone for this fall, but you might still be able to get in for the winter term. If you applied now?—”
“No,” I say, my voice louder than intended. I swallow. “Mom, I’ve told you, I don’t want to go to college. Please drop it.”
“Your mother and I are not gonna drop it, Ada,” Dad says. “College isn’t something you just opt out of.”
“Exactly,” Mom chimes in, placing a plate in front of Jesse. “Your Nonna and Nonno came to this country to give their children—and their grandchildren—a better life. An education!”
There’s a burning sensation in my throat as I hold back all the incredulous words itching to be launched across the table. I’ve heard this a thousand times. And I’ve had enough. Enough of the guilt trips. The pressure.
“School isn’t my thing, okay?” I grit my teeth. “It never was. That hasn’t changed. The way my brain works hasn’t changed.”
Dad sighs, tossing his napkin onto the table. “Here we go again.”
I’m sure Renee is used to witnessing this train wreck by now, but Jesse being here tonight is a fresh blow to the ego. When I glance his way, he looks concerned.
“It’s nothing that can’t be solved with a little discipline,” Mom presses as she takes her seat, pulling my attention away from Jesse. “If you just?—”
“Oh, if I just tried harder, right? We’re back to this? Unbelievable.” I shake my head, searching the ceiling for patience.
“Mom, maybe just give her a break,” Marcus cuts in, sounding weary. “Do we really need to do this again?”
“She doesn’t need a break!” Mom says, turning to him. “She needs to get her butt in gear!”
“You know, your grandparents sacrificed everything to give you this opportunity,” Dad reminds me.
“I know, Dad!” My cheeks burn. I can’t believe they’re pulling this crap again. And in front of Jesse.
“So you’re just going to throw that away because it’s hard?” Dad asks.
“Are you kidding me? Have you listened to anything I’ve told you about this?”
“Honestly, Ada,” Mom says. “Look at Marcus. He went to college and it was fine. And now he has a wonderful job at Sitka.”
“Mom,” Marcus groans, clearly no happier about the comparison than I am. “Not cool.”
She sits back in her seat. “What? I’m just saying, Ada. The excuses have to stop.”
I round on her, my anger close to boiling over. “How many times do I have to explain dyslexia is not a fucking excuse?”
Mom waves a dismissive hand my way. “Oh, everybody thinks they have something these days.”
Dad nods. “If you’d stop being so stubborn and just consider?—”
“You know,” Jesse’s deep voice cuts through the escalating noise, “I actually read a fascinating article on dyslexia recently. It said that dyslexic people are more likely to use the right sides of their brains—for reading and just… thinking in general.”