Page 34 of The Three of Us

‘Look, I know it’s stupid, and probably totally one-sided, but we get on so well, and it’s great having him working in the same building, like it’s fate or something. We had lunch one day, in the park. And a drink after work. He even carried my shopping! I like being near him, being with him…’

‘I don’t like the sound of this.’

‘I love him, Syd, okay? You wanted to know, so there it is. I think I really do love him.’

‘You can’t love him, Carly. You only think you do. Because it’s not real, is it? You hardly know him. And for the last five years you haven’t set eyes on him, let alone had any idea what he might be doing with his life. So, he’s back, and you still feel something. A spark. But that’s not love, it’s infatuation. Jack’s like any other man. He makes mistakes. He might have been happy to meet up again, sent you mixed signals, flirted a bit more than he should, but you don’t have to be drawn in. He’s not worth it, and you’re worth more, if that makes any sense. Remember what I said earlier, when we had that idiot driver behind us? You can’t do anything about other people or how they behave. Just concentrate on what you’re doing. Be the better person.’

‘I can’t help it, Syd. Ever since we first met, all those years ago, it’s only really ever been Jack. If only I’d done more at the time, thrown myself at him, begged him to stay. If only he hadn’t had to go back home, he might not have married this other girl.’

‘Molly. She does have a name, you know.’

‘I know she does, but I don’t want to think about that. Or about her.’

‘Well, maybe you should. Because she’s his wife, Carly. She’s the one in the right here, the one on the moral high ground. She’s the one who would be mortified if she knew about you, not the other way round.’

‘There’s nothing to know. Jack and I… we had a bit of a moment a week or two back, but nothing happened. Honest. I stopped it. Well, we stopped it. And I don’t expect it to happen again.’

‘But you’d like it to?’

‘You know I would. He’s the one, Syd. You know how sometimes you just know? He’s the one, the only one, and I have no idea what to do about it. Except hope for a miracle, like his wife walking under a bus or something.’

Syd stops the car outside my flat and turns to look at me at last.

‘I can’t believe you just said that. Or that you could possibly mean it.’

‘I don’t mean it. Not really. It all just makes me feel so…’

‘What? Jealous? Angry? You have to let this thing go, Carly. Let Jack go.’

‘I’m trying.’

‘Not very hard, from what I can see. How about I introduce you to someone. I must have an available mate or two. Just for fun? It doesn’t have to be anything serious, but you never know…’

‘No, thanks, Syd. I think I’m okay without, for now.’

‘Just a thought, that’s all. But as for Jack, he’s off-limits. I mean it. Stay away, all right? A bit of mild flirting in the office is one thing, but having a moment as you call it sounds like a whole other level. Think about Rosie. How do you think she’d feel if some random woman she’s never met, or even heard of, was chucking herself at me? Oh, I know you probably think that’s never going to happen, I know I’m no Brad Pitt, but I’m her Brad Pitt, if you know what I mean.’

I don’t know what to say. I have never been lectured by Syd before, or by any man except my dad, and it feels wrong somehow, weird, him thinking he has the right to delve into my life, my heart, and tell me what to do. The trouble is, I know he’s right. I’ve known it from the day I found out Jack was back. He’s not mine. He never will be.

‘And you probably don’t know this, and it’s not really my place to say, but I’m going to tell you anyway.’

I have my hand on the door handle, ready to get out of the car, but my curiosity gets the better of me. ‘Haven’t you said enough already?’ I snap, grabbing my bag from the floor and staring at him.

‘She’s pregnant, Carly. I’m sorry, but it’s true. He told me himself. Molly and Jack are having a baby.’

Chapter 20

Molly

They have not registered with a local GP since they came to London. It has been a case of waiting until one of them falls sick and then do it, which luckily hasn’t happened yet, but with a third of her pregnancy already behind her, she knows it’s time. The paperwork is quick and easy enough, the female doctor pleasant and welcoming, and now Molly is back at the flat, armed with a pile of leaflets and forms, and has already been booked in for her first meeting with a midwife. This is all suddenly starting to feel exciting, like an adventure she’s only just setting out on.

She can’t settle. Jack is at work, there is nowhere she needs to be, and she just wants to do something. There is only so much tidying and cleaning she can potter about at, and she doesn’t fancy a walk, not while it’s raining outside. So, she does what she always does. She pulls out her mixing bowl and a big bag of flour and raids the fridge for butter and eggs. When in doubt, bake!

She has been thinking a lot this last couple of weeks, about how she is ever going to find a job or some way of making money now there’s a baby on the way. And they are going to need that second income more than ever now, what with a cot to buy, and clothes that get outgrown in weeks, a constant supply of nappies and all the other hundred and one things a baby is going to need. Of course, she knows that cakes are the answer, probably the only answer, but there are so many other women making birthday cakes, cupcakes, even gingerbread, and trying to sell from home or some weekend market stall. She needs to offer something a bit different, something there will always be a demand for. She can’t believe many people buy gingerbread houses other than in the run-up to Christmas and, as she’s already worked out, her tiny kitchen is never going to give her the space she needs to work on big elaborate wedding cakes, much as she’d love the challenge.

They rang Jack’s family last night after he came home from work. It didn’t really seem worth the trip all the way up to Norfolk on the train just to tell them the news, especially with money about to become a lot tighter and Molly’s wrist still in plaster, so a phone call made sense. Of course, she had let Jack do the talking. She had told her mum and dad and it was only right he tell his.

She had been curious to know how he would play it. All excited, even if he was putting it on a bit, or just plain matter-of-fact? Build up the suspense to revealing a surprise, or just come right out with it? In the end, he had only had to hint at having something to tell them for Brenda to leap right in and guess within seconds. Molly had heard the squealing down the line from the other side of the room.