Page 44 of The Three of Us

‘Mum!’

‘Look, love, I’m going to tell you this in the strictest confidence, okay? It’s Anthony’s business, and his secret to tell, but if it puts your mind at rest…’

I’m curious now, but I wait as she gathers her thoughts.

‘Anthony is already in a relationship. He has a partner, someone he lives with, but… well, they can’t go out together, enjoy trips to the cinema or the garden centre. I fill that gap in his life, just as he fills the same gap in mine. What we have together is not love or romance or sex. It’s called friendship, Carly. As simple as that.’

‘And this partner? Why can’t they go out together?’ It suddenly dawns on me. Why didn’t I suspect it before? ‘Is Anthony gay? Is that it? You’re telling me that he’s still lurking in the closet, or his partner is, and they can’t be seen out holding hands? In this day and age? That you’re his… cover, if that’s the word for it?’

‘No, Carly.’ She puts the flower down at last. Its petals are a mangled mess now, she’s been squashing them between her fingers for so long. ‘Anthony is not gay. Absolutely not. He lives with a woman. Her name is Pauline, they’ve been together for twenty years, and he loves her very much, but she’s not able to go out and do all the things other women her age can do.’

‘Why not?’

She pauses for a moment, then takes my hand over the table. ‘She has Huntingdon’s disease, Carly.’

‘Oh.’ I wasn’t expecting that.

‘I don’t ask him for all the day-to-day details but I know it’s getting worse. Well, it will, I suppose. It’s not curable, I know that much. It affects her brain, her movements, her coordination. Her memory and her speech too. From what I can gather, she gets very depressed, and a bit out of control at times, violent, not that she can help it, of course. I’ve seen bruises on his arms. And yet he stands by her, cares for her, stays faithful to her. He even gave up his job to be there for her. She has carers who come in, obviously, but he works for himself, from home, these days, so he can be there as much as possible. And that means he doesn’t even have colleagues to chat to anymore. It can be very lonely, as I know only too well. So, sometimes he needs to get out and have a more normal life for a few hours. The allotment. Here… You surely can’t begrudge him that?’

I don’t really know what to say. I have misjudged Anthony so badly. And Mum too.

‘I’m so sorry, Mum. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. Poor Anthony.’

‘Well, that’s exactly what he doesn’t want. People to pity him, or to feel sorry for him. He wants to be treated just like anybody else, and have a bit of fun when he can, a chance to escape from the reality of their everyday life every now and then. And when he’s here with me, we don’t talk about all that stuff he has to deal with at home. We play music, we plant flowers, we wander down to the allotments and take a flask, we sit here and do the crossword. And, yes, you’re right. Of course, he’s much younger than me, but our friendship gives us both something we need, Carly. It has nothing to do with age. Or sex!’

‘They aren’t married though? No kids?’

‘She knew she was carrying the gene. It’s genetic, apparently, passed on by her father. She never knew him. He did a runner when she was a baby, but he left her with that. A ticking time bomb. And, as soon as she knew she had it, she was determined not to tie Anthony down, much as he was willing, keen even, to marry her. And she refused to risk passing it on to any children. Got sterilised to make sure it never happened.’

‘That’s so sad.’

‘It is. He would have made a good dad.’

I flinch a bit, remembering saying the very same thing about Jack. ‘So, what happens now? When I see him? Do I pretend I don’t know, make out you haven’t told me?’

‘No, that would be silly. And dishonest. He’s not ashamed of his situation, he just prefers not to broadcast it, but I will tell him that I’ve confided in you. Besides, I get the impression things will be changing sooner rather than later.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Do you need me to spell it out for you, love? I don’t think that Pauline has long left, that’s what I’m saying. She’s had a few falls, infections, a couple of bouts of pneumonia, and she’s just getting weaker, less able to fight. Her body’s giving up, and Anthony believes that maybe she is too.’

I go for a long walk when I leave Mum’s. Life really is a sod sometimes, isn’t it? Who knows what deadly disease any of us might catch, or what bus might come whizzing round the corner and knock us down at any minute? Yet, here I am, wasting my life as if I have all the time in the world. Maybe my mother’s been right all along. I should have found someone by now, settled down, got married, had a couple of beautiful children. Be less Carly and more Rosie!

Why didn’t I meet someone like Syd? Caring, understanding, a real family man? Instead, I was stupid enough to pin my hopes and all my romantic fantasies on a man I can’t have. Just because he is drop-dead gorgeous and has beautiful deep-brown eyes, and makes my knees go weak! I must be the shallowest woman I know.

Chapter 26

Molly

It is October already, the day of her own gender-reveal scan fast approaching, and, after six weeks, Molly has just had the plaster removed from her wrist. She wriggles her hand about, happy to have it back in full working order again, and thinks how lucky they are to still have nice enough weather for a picnic in the park, even if it means keeping coats on and bringing umbrellas just in case.

She has invested in a special two-tier carrying case, so she can safely transport the sample cupcakes and the tin containing Jo’s son’s rocket birthday cake on the bus, but it’s heavier than she had anticipated and her wrist, unused to doing the work lately, is aching, even though she has tried to take most of the weight in her other hand. She has had to stop for a few minutes to put everything down and catch her breath. Maybe she should have looked for something with wheels.

She spots Rosie ahead of her, pressing the button at the school gate, and rushes to catch up with her.

‘Hello,’ Rosie calls, waving a hand before returning it to the handle of the double buggy she is struggling to manoeuvre through the gate. She seems to manage it with a sideways shunt of her hip before Molly can help her, and holds the gate open for Molly to follow her through. ‘They should warn people that you need a special driving test before getting let loose with one of these buggers,’ she says with a laugh. ‘Oh, sorry. I meant buggies, obviously! Anyway, far more importantly, I can see that you’ve brought cake. Lovely!’

Molly nods towards the bag over her shoulder. ‘And a rug and sandwiches, fizzy water, some fresh fruit salad…’