Page 54 of The Three of Us
‘I just want to see if it’s got a willy or not. This “what is it?” thing has gone on long enough now. If it has to be some kind of fruit or veg, I’m hoping for a cucumber!’
‘No idea what that even means, but it sounds vaguely phallic, so I’m guessing you want a boy. Well, what man doesn’t?’
‘I haven’t actually said that out loud yet, but yeah. A boy would be good. Only one thing wrong with it though. It would mean having to admit the mother-in-law has been right all along.’
‘The women are always right, Jack. Haven’t you figured that out yet? If you want an easy life, the women are always right! And my mum’s over here now, so I’ve got yet another woman telling me what to do. I’m just glad we don’t have the room and they’re all shored up in a hotel! Don’t forget the welcome party tomorrow, by the way, if you can make it. I’d like you to meet the folks, especially my brother, Daz. I get the impression he’s thinking of staying on for a while if he can. There’s only just over a year between us but he always did follow me around, copying whatever I did. My little shadow, although not so little these days. He’s a good six inches taller than me and he’s got muscles like Popeye! Living in the UK and getting a job over here is the logical next step for him, while he’s still single and fancy free, and now I’ve been the advance guard and shown it’s possible! I can’t see Mum being very happy about losing both of us, but he needs to spread his wings a bit, and she’ll always have Victoria.’
‘Your sister?’
‘Yeah. Married with a six-year-old. Which is why she’s not come with them. A kid in school. A husband not able to get away from work for long enough. And the cost. The air fares aren’t cheap. No, our Vic’s not likely to be emigrating anytime soon. Mum can be confident of hanging on to one of the brood!’
After Syd dashes away for his next lesson, which Jack is pleased to discover is not with Carly, he sits alone for a while, savouring his beer. It hasn’t really occurred to him before but he misses his own brother. They might be like chalk and cheese but he’s always been there, from occupying the bed on the other side of their childhood room to standing beside him as his best man on the day he got married. He’s quite looking forward to seeing him, and all the family, when they go home next weekend. It’s been too long.
He peers out of the frosted glass behind him and is fairly sure the rain is easing off. He picks up Syd’s discarded pink paper umbrella, shakes the liquid off its cocktail-stick handle, folds it down carefully and slips it into his pocket. It will give Molly a laugh when he brandishes it later and tells her it was the only one he had with him and it didn’t quite manage to keep the rain off.
He hesitates at the door, looking both ways, before heading for the little row of shops with the baker’s right slap in the middle. It’s a small family-run place, somewhere he had once thought Molly might find herself a job, or a few hours’ casual work at least. But she has bigger ideas these days, and a bigger belly, and he can no longer imagine her there behind the counter, in a fitted green overall, on her feet all day, pushing someone else’s cakes into paper bags.
He can smell the bread already. It entices him in, and makes him buy far more than they need, but he can never resist a good thing. He almost forgets the magazine Molly has asked him to find, but doubles back to the newsagents before he’s got as far as the corner. They have flowers outside too. He pushes the thought of Carly and the bouquet, if you could call it that, that he’d bought her that night when he’d gone to her flat, from his mind. It’s ages since he’s bought Molly flowers. He knows what she will say, making a joke about what he has to feel guilty or sorry about. But she will love them anyway, and appreciate the gesture, even if the choice is somewhat limited and they come without all the fancy cellophane and ribbons.
He picks out the biggest and best-looking bunch. He has no idea what they are, except that they are pink and white and pretty. Will she read something into that? That he’s decided they’re having a girl? That that’s what he’s hoping for? They have nothing in blue, so he can’t even buy a bunch of each. But colour-coded flowers could be the way to go when they tell his parents next week. Molly will want to do it with cake, but he has to have some say, doesn’t he? And his mum’s always on some kind of diet. She will prefer flowers to cake, although a pile of cupcakes, whatever colour their middles might be, will no doubt keep his dad happy.
He realises that he’s starting to look forward to telling them, to sharing the excitement. Because, fired up with Syd’s enthusiasm for the joys and responsibilities of fatherhood, he knows deep down that it is exciting, and a special privilege, bringing a new life into the world.
Chapter 31
Carly
Igo in through Mum’s back door, like I always do on a Saturday, but there’s no one sitting in the kitchen. I’m into the hall before I hear muffled voices coming from behind the half-open dining-room door. I guess that Anthony is here again. It will be the first time I’ve seen him since Mum told me about Pauline, and I’m not quite sure how to play it. Saying something straight away, offering sympathy, could feel very awkward and out of place, but not saying anything looks like I don’t care. As it turns out, the choice is taken out of my hands.
‘Carly,’ Mum says, standing up as I enter the room. Anthony is sitting with his back to the door, leaning forwards, elbows on the old wooden dining table, his head in his hands. ‘There’s been a bit of bad news.’
‘Oh. Do you want me to leave?’
‘No, no, come in, love, please. Anthony’s going in a minute anyway. Pauline’s taken a turn for the worse. She’s in the hospital, and he has to get back there.’
He turns to face me now. ‘Hello, Carly. Sorry to spoil your Saturday. The last thing you want to see is me sitting here blubbing.’
‘No, really, don’t be silly. I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?’ Stupid question, I know, but it’s what we’re conditioned to say, isn’t it?
‘Thank you. Nothing any of us can do, I’m afraid. Even me. Except just be there for her. I had to pop home for a few bits. Change of clothes, for me as well as her. A few toiletries, her favourite perfume. If this is it… well, I’d like her to be looking her best. It’s how she’d like to go. Clean nightie, her hair nicely brushed…’ He lowers his face again, eyes closed, then takes a deep breath and stands up. Mum reaches out a hand to steady him.
‘I could come with you. For moral support?’ she says.
‘Thank you, Joyce, but no. We went into this thing together, Pauline and I, the two of us against the world, and we’ll end it the same way. But I really do need to get back to her now. I just felt I should tell you what’s happening, in case I disappear for a while. You’ve been my rock these last few weeks, and I want you to know how much I appreciate that.’
Mum throws her arms around him and gives him a squeeze. ‘My pleasure, love. And do let me know, won’t you? If anything happens, if you need anything, anytime, day or night. I can’t bear to think of you all on your own. At least when I lost my George, I had Carly and Sam to help me. But I do know what it’s like, so call me, please. I mean it.’
She lets him go and he nods. I move aside to let them through into the hall, listen to the opening and closing of the front door, and wait until Mum comes back in. She looks very tired and pale.
‘Memories of Dad?’ I ask her, thinking back to his last night when we all waited for the inevitable.
‘They never leave me, but yes, especially now. It’s never easy, is it? Saying goodbye?’ She slumps into a chair and I go and put the kettle on. A cup of strong tea has always been her go-to comfort blanket.
‘Sam at football?’ I place the tea in front of her and tip some Rich Teas – the only biscuits I could find – onto a plate.
‘Where else?’
‘I’ll stay a while today then. Until he’s back. Never mind Anthony, I don’t like to think of you being on your own either.’