Page 16 of The Next Chapters
Riley paused while folding their shared sweatshirt, her surprise at Gianna’s question obvious. “Excuse me?”
Still entirely too aware of the beating of her heart, she elaborated, “A herd. Of children. Yours, specifically.”
“You mean, on our first date? When you told me you wanted to have my babies?” A teasing smile tugged at Riley’s mouth. “Yes, I think I vaguely recall it.”
“Okay, wise guy.” But even Gianna found herself grinning at the memory, even as she felt her cheeks heat ever so slightly.
Riley sobered as Gianna insistently held her gaze, her hazel eyes searching Gianna’s. “Why do you ask?”
This wasn’t how Gianna had intended to approach the conversation. If pressed, she really hadn’t known how she’d have intended to approach this conversation, but it would have involved more flair than blurting it out in the middle of a laundry night, catching Riley entirely off-guard.
But they were here, and she had brought it up, and she could feel in her veins how very much she wanted to keep the conversation going. Holding onto that, she continued, “Because I think it’s time that we maybe get serious about it.”
If Gianna hadn’t already been aware that she’d caught Riley by surprise, she’d have known by the way Riley essentially dropped heavily into her seat, continuing to stare at Gianna as her eyebrows furrowed. Deeply.
“I just…” Riley’s fingers toyed subconsciously at the neck of their sweatshirt. “Wow. Okay. I guess I just didn’t expect this.”
“In fairness, I did tell you I wanted kids on our first date. As you vaguely recall,” she joked, deliberately bumping her knees against Riley’s, needing to establish some connection. Especially with the nerves in her stomach acting up the way they were.
Riley stared at her, dropping her warm hand to Gianna’s knee. “You absolutely did.”
“And, as it stands, I’m thirty-two. So, it’s probably a good time to start coming up with some sort of plan,” she added, landing her hand on top of Riley’s, taking comfort in the familiar touch.
God, she didn’t know why she was feeling so nervous about this. This was just Riley.
Bolstering herself with that thought, she squeezed Riley’s hand. “If you’re not ready for this conversation–”
But Riley shook her head, silently cutting Gianna off. “No, that’s not–” She cut herself off, taking a deep breath once more, seemingly needing to settle herself. “I think I need to do some research? Before we talk about it.”
Something was going on there, in the storm behind Riley’s eyes. Something that Gianna couldn’t quite put her finger on, which was the most confusing part about this entire interaction.
Not being able to read Riley like a book was among Gianna’s least favorite things.
She nodded, though. After all, she’d had time to think about this subject for weeks; it was only fair to give Riley the same time.
“Deal.”
She leaned in, brushing her lips briefly, softly against Riley’s. Sealed with a kiss.
As they sat in the kitchen for the meeting Riley had put on their shared calendar entitled On the Subject of Children, Gianna wasn’t surprised in the least as Riley pulled out a literal file, filled with printed pages, annotated with notes. You can take the woman out of the shared womb with Ellie, but the imprint of Ellie remained.
However, she was curious and leaned over to try and steal a look. “What are those?”
Riley playfully lifted the tops of the pages to keep Gianna from seeing everything she’d prepared, softly kicking her socked foot out at Gianna’s. “No peeking.”
She acquiesced, leaning back in her seat. Since the day after she’d brought up the conversation six days ago in the laundry room, Riley had seemingly returned to her normal self. Which was a total relief to Gianna.
Save for the handful of times in which Riley seemed very contemplative and lost in her thoughts in ways she typically wasn’t. That was what led Gianna to this gnawing concern in the pit of her stomach.
That feeling led her to start their conversation with, “Before we even get into this – do you really want to have kids?” She searched Riley’s gaze with her own, needing to voice the question that had taken root in her mind.
“I’ve realized it’s not something we’ve ever truly discussed in our relationship, given that we’d discussed it a handful of times prior to being together, and it was always something you said you were interested in.”
She’d gone down this avenue of thought in the last few days. The realization that she’d just… assumed this was their next step. But Riley saying that she would hypothetically want children with a hypothetical partner in the future wasn’t the same as wanting them here and now with Gianna.
After all, Riley had always thought that partner would be a man! So, she’d clearly never pictured this.
That little crinkle between Riley’s eyebrows appeared as she slowly nodded. “I do.” She nodded more firmly after a second, in a move that screamed of certainty. “I do,” she repeated.