Page 104 of Tiny Fractures
I feel her nod against me, and she inhales deeply. “I can do that,” she says, her voice tired but serious. “But, you should know that I love it when you touch me.” There’s a change in her voice now; it’s determined, more present, and warm. “And everything that we’ve done, I wanted… I want. I want you, Ran.”
There’s finality in her voice, and she sits up to look at me. Her cheeks are flushed, but not because of her crying. I feel a shift in the air, a sudden electricity crackling between us that causes my heart rate to pick up.
My eyes are fixed to her mouth as she wets her lips with her tongue, and I struggle to read Cat’s body language. Luckily I don’t have to analyze her too much, because without another moment’s notice she leans forward and brushes her lips against mine. I kiss her back, softly at first, letting her set the tempo but deepening the kiss when she parts her lips, allowing me to taste her again. I move my left hand to her low back and glide my thumb over her bare skin; it’s still hot from the emotional upheaval of reliving her relationship with Adam. I can feel her breathing accelerate and I carefully urge her backwards until her back rests on my bed and I’m next to her, my lips still on hers. She reaches around and slides both her hands underneath my shirt and up my back, leaving hot trails where her fingers touch my skin. It’s incredible how easily and quickly her touch makes me forget everything around me.
My lips leave her mouth and I kiss her jawline, her delicate neck, breathing her in, tasting her soft skin. She moans softly and I feel her tug on my shirt, sliding it up, exposing my torso, and I finally just yank my shirt over my head and off again while her hands explore my back, tracing each rib, softly gliding down my sides and back up to my neck before running her fingers through my hair.
I kiss her lips again briefly, then travel back down to her neck and collarbone, allowing my left hand to slowly travel underneath her shirt, discovering the silky skin of her toned stomach. I make sure to give her time to stop me as I move my hand upwards and outline her bra as I continue to nip at her skin. Her hands forge searing-hot paths on my back, and her quick breathing and closed eyes make it clear she doesn’t want me to stop.
I withdraw my hand from under her shirt and push up the fabric, exposing her stomach and bra before my lips break contact with her skin. I sit up and reposition myself. Cat makes a face as though about to protest the sudden pause of our physical contact, but before she can say anything I lower myself and begin to kiss her stomach, licking and kissing a path upward as my left hand traces the edge of her black lacy bra. As my mouth is about to reach her right breast, I graze my left thumb over the thin fabric covering her left nipple, and Cat’s hands find my shoulder blades as she moans my name. I fight hard not to lose my head knowing how turned on she is, and with my left hand I pull down the lace, exposing her nipple before running my tongue over it and drawing it deep into my mouth while teasing her other nipple with my hand.
I want to be right here in this moment forever, exploring Cat’s body, tasting her, hearing her moan quietly as she runs her hands over my back, pushing her further and further toward the edge, but my phone rings. Of course it does. This shit never fails. I ignore it at first, too lost in Cat to care, but when it rings for a third time in a row, I groan, frustrated, before sitting up and grabbing the offending piece of technology. It’s Shane. I swear, the universe is conspiring against me.
“What’s up,” I ask, attempting to control my ragged breathing without much success.
“Oh shit, dude, did I interrupt something?” he asks, his voice tinged with both guilt and insinuation.
“Yeah, kind of.” I let my eyes roam Cat’s exposed body as she lies on my bed, looking at me expectantly, her eyes still glossed over with need, and I shiver with want. Jesus fuck, she’s so damn perfect.
“Sorry. It’s just, I need you to come in, if you can. Trace, Cory, and Amy all called out today and we’re seriously short-staffed tonight.”
I sigh. “Fuck, Shay, I really want to spend some time with Cat.”
“I’m sorry, man. I really hate to do this to you, but is there any way you can be here in like thirty minutes and close with me tonight?”
Cat props herself up on her elbows and adjusts her bra before pulling down her shirt, making me pout like a little kid. She giggles, then mouths at me, “You should go in.”
I sigh again. “Okay, I’ll be there in half an hour.”
“Man, thank you! You’re a freaking lifesaver. Tell Cat I’ll make it up to you guys.”
“I’m sorry,” I apologize to Cat after I hang up the phone. “I don’t want to leave you after you just poured your heart out to me.”
“Ran, I feel so much better now that you know. Like a huge weight is off my chest. I was so afraid of what you would think of me.” I pull her back into my arms. “I’m so glad I found you,” she mumbles against my chest. She has no idea how much her words reflect how I feel about her. She is the best part of my life.
When we finally break apart, I walk to my closet and pull out a black, long-sleeve Murphy’s shirt. I feel Cat’s eyes on me the entire time, and I smile to myself, though I wish I could keep exploring her perfect body right now rather than getting ready for work.
There’s nothing like being with Cat, nothing that stills my restless soul like she does.
The last month and a half have been more of the same bullshit at home, except that my mother’s volatility is at an all-time high. I’ve been trying extra hard to keep things civil, to not let her provoke a reaction when she’s looking for a fight or a reason to punish me—she has a way of getting a rise out of me, even though I know better—and I mostly am able to avoid a complete collision course. Though there are still the almost-daily shoves, the nasty words, the backhands, and the broom hits.
But honestly, whenever I’m with Cat everything around me just kind of recedes into the background. All the other shit suddenly doesn’t seem as heavy. It’s hard to explain what she does to me; I’m not totally sure I can even wrap my head around it. All I know is I feel a million times better when I’m with her, so I give in to my need more often than not.
I wasn’t sure if I was going to see her today, but then she showed up, surprising me in the best way. My mom had just finished laying into me about some chores I hadn’t gotten around to yet. It’s not like I skirt my responsibilities; I keep this fucking house clean essentially on my own. Never mind the fact that her to-do list for me is never-ending and that, aside from almost-daily hockey practice, I also work basically a full-time job. But that’s not what ended up getting me in trouble. No, it was the fact that I got pissed off when my mom said some derogatory shit about Cat. More specifically, she said it was clear that I was thinking with my dick and that getting into “that little blonde bitch’s pants” was more important to me than fulfilling my responsibilities at home. And then she reminded me that I’m worthless, and sooner or later Cat would dump me because that’s all I’m good for: being used up. I didn’t say a damn thing, but my body apparently gave my reaction away because, not seconds later, I got backhanded so hard it made little black dots pop before my eyes.
And then Cat showed up with Zack, Vada, and Summer, and instead of heading to the movies with them, she chose to stay with me and help me take care of shit. She chose spending time with me doing some boring chores over doing something fun with her friends. I swear, this girl is an angel, or a saint, or, I don’t know, but whatever she is, one thing is for certain: she is too good for me.
She helped me finish up my chores way faster than I would have been able to accomplish myself, making some comment about us being able to enjoy having the house to ourselves. I had to keep drowning out the urge to touch her the entire time she was helping me, but all bets were off as soon as we put away the last of the laundry. I just wish she could stay with me a while longer, that I wouldn’t need to part with her just yet, but I’m not about to leave Shane hanging.
I drop Cat off at home and get to Murphy’s fifteen minutes later, immediately understanding why Shane called me in a panic. The place is packed. I jump right in, getting to work as soon as I check in with Shane. The crowds don’t let up all evening, and I’m so busy I don’t even have a chance to take a break, only stopping here and there to exchange a quick word with Shane or gulp down a glass of water.
***
By the time Shane finally locks the doors, it’s just him and me.
“Alright, let’s clean this place up and go home,” Shane exhales, clearly exhausted.
We start moving around, putting up chairs, sweeping, and wiping down tables.