Page 115 of Tiny Fractures
“I have to go, Mom,” I say simply. I’ve heard her say this a million times; I can’t count the number of times she’s said that she’s sorry, that she doesn’t want to hurt me, that she didn’t mean to hit me. It’s a constant back-and-forth of bullshit. Her words never back her fucking actions.
Once I get to my car, I sit for a minute, gripping my steering wheel so tightly that my knuckles turn white. I think about the hug Cat’s mom gave me just before I left her house, how she thanked me for protecting Cat. My mom has never hugged me. The contrast between Cat’s mom and mine is so stark, I don’t even understand how these things can coexist in this world. It feels like my head might explode, and I can’t tell if it’s from all the shitty emotions pumping through me right now or the fact that I received some pretty nasty hits to the head, but I feel like I’m going to need something to shut this all off soon.
***
I get back to Murphy’s a little while later and walk to the bar, where I deposit my keys and wallet behind the counter, then grab a shot glass and fill it to the brim with tequila—the cheap kind. It tastes like shit, but it makes my brain nice and fuzzy in no time at all.
Shane and Steve walk up to me, standing on either side of me just as I’m about to bring the glass to my lips.
“You okay?” Shane asks, eyeing the glass in my hands, then my face, lingering for a moment on my swollen, bruised cheekbone.
“Sure,” I lie, then take the shot, letting the liquid burn its way down my throat.
“If you need the evening off, I get it,” Shane says as I slam the shot glass down on the counter.
I shake my head. “No, I want to be here. I need the distraction.”
“Okay, well we’re closing at nine anyways. My dad just called me to tell me the air vents are being cleaned out tonight. It’s going to take all evening.”
“Oh, okay,” I say, not happy about the prospect of going back home when my mom’s not working tonight.
“Should we hang out at the beach, then?” Steve chimes in, and I welcome the idea.
“I’ll check if it’s cool with my mom, but I can’t see why it wouldn’t be,” Shane says, and pulls out his phone. I take the opportunity to start making my rounds through my section, noting that Shane was able to wipe the floor clean of the blood—either mine or Adam’s, who the fuck knows—and get busy with work in no time.
The rest of the evening flies by, and Shane and I close up shop while Steve, Zack, Tori, Summer, and Vada hang out, waiting for us to finish cleaning and locking up. My head is still in a weird place when we head to our cars, agreeing to meet at the beach house.
“You’re picking up Cat, or do you want us to?” Vada asks me as I’m about to get into my car. I cock my eyebrows at her. I haven’t even talked to Cat since this afternoon and was planning on giving her a call as soon as I got in my car. “I called her earlier and told her we’d be heading to Shane’s after you guys got off work,” Vada says in answer to my confused expression.
“Is she even up for hanging out after…” I trail off. I sort of assumed she wasn’t in the mood for more outings today after her ex stalked her here.
“Duh. I’m pretty sure she’s always game for hanging out with you.” Vada winks at me.
For the first time in the last few hours, my lips tug into a smile. “I’ll get her,” I say, my heart squirming in my chest. Weird how even just the thought of Cat makes life infinitely more bearable.
***
I knock on her door half an hour later after making a quick pitstop, and her little sister Samantha opens the door. A huge grin spread across her face.
“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” I ask her, amused, as I step into the house.
Her eyebrows crease as she crosses her arms in front of her. “I’m nine, not two. I don’t have to be in bed for another half hour,” she says stoically, making me laugh. “What happened to your eye?” she asks, pointing at my face.
“It’s rude to point,” I note with a cock of my eyebrow and a chuckle.
“You look like you were in a fight,” she doubles down. This kid cracks me up.
“Your sister did that,” I tease.
Sam’s mouth drops open, but closes almost immediately as she eyes me suspiciously. “No, she didn’t,” she says, trying to sound convinced, but I hear her wavering. There’s a brief moment of silence between us before Sam calls out, “Cat, did you hit Ronan?”
“What? No! Why would you say that?” I hear Cat say, her voice getting louder as she moves toward us. She rounds the corner into the hallway and stops dead in her tracks when she spots me. She has the most stunning smile on her face.
“Hi,” she says, and her voice comes out breathy.
“Hi,” I respond, returning her dazzling smile because she makes me feel almost delirious when I’m with her, regardless of all the other shit going on in the background. “Are you sure you’re up for going somewhere tonight?”
“Yes, please,” she says. “My mom’s been hovering all afternoon and it’s suffocating me.”