Page 97 of Tiny Fractures
“Just make sure you lock your bathroom door,” I say. “And whatever you do, don’t drop your soap when he’s around.”
“Knowing Shane, he’ll drop the soap on purpose,” Drew laughs.
“Come on, dude. Don’t project your feelings on me, okay?” Shane retorts, garnering a “burn” comment from Steve and a flip of the middle finger from Drew.
Once the sun has completely set, Shane and Zack bring out some fireworks that, we all agree, couldn’t possibly have been obtained legally. They’re loud as hell when we set them off, but they’re pretty sweet and certainly beat lighting those outrageously priced rinky-dink fireworks they sell at the stands. We all sit in the sand, facing the ocean while Zack lights one rocket after another. Cat sits between my legs, her back against my chest while she gazes at the sparkly lights in the sky. She smells like lavender shampoo, but there’s something sweet that’s just her. If there was a way to bottle it up, I would.
We all stay up well past three in the morning and, after going for a middle-of-the-night dip in the ocean, head to our tents. Vada made it clear that she intended to spend the night with Steve again, so I follow Cat into her tent. The make-out session that ensues is so hot, getting me so damn worked up, that I have to sneak out of her tent once she falls asleep and relieve the pent-up sexual tension. As much as I want to take it all the way with her, I’m not about to pressure her into anything. I promised her I would move at her pace, and that’s exactly what I intend to do.
Monday, July 5th
Ronan
We all leave the beach at around one the next day. Shane stops at Cat’s first, and I walk her to the door, carrying her stuff inside for her. Shane already warned me that I would be working with him that night, so I know I won’t see Cat again until tomorrow.
“This was one of the best weekends of my life,” Cat says sweetly when I head back out the door after depositing her things in the house.
“I couldn’t agree more.” I draw her toward me and kiss her. “I’ll call you when I’m on break?”
“Yes, please,” she says, and kisses me softly again.
I get back into Shane’s car a few seconds later. The closer we get to my house, the more anxious I feel. It’s always been like this. Anytime I come home, my muscles tense as soon as I turn the corner to our street, and the tension only increases the closer I get to the house. It usually either peaks or dissolves once I see the driveway and whether my mom’s car is parked there. It’s only four, so I expect my mother to be home, and sure enough her car is pulled into the driveway. Steve went to hang out with Vada after dropping off her stuff at her house, so my brother being gone, coupled with my dad leaving this morning, pretty much guarantees I’m about to walk into fire.
“I’ll see you in a couple of hours,” Shane says before he pulls away to drive Tori home and then head into Murphy’s.
I stand at the entrance to the short walkway leading to the dark-green front door, bracing myself for what awaits me inside. Then I take a couple deeps breaths, grab my crap, and walk into the house.
I’m pleasantly surprised to run into my dad of all people. It’s interesting, because when I think about it, it’s almost like I’m prey that’s aware it’s being stalked, and I swear my muscles ache with the anticipation. It’s my go-to response when I know only my mom is home; I don’t even wait to see what kind of mood she’s in anymore. I stopped doing that when we moved back to New York a couple years ago, when I was old enough to realize that nothing I did would be good enough. So, I just assume it’s going to be bad unless and until her movements, her facial expression, or the tone of her voice tell me otherwise. I’m constantly analyzing the threat level, and to say that this shit gets old quickly would be a real fucking understatement. Honestly, I just avoid her at all cost now, at least to the extent that’s possible.
“Hey, Ran!” my dad says when he steps out of the kitchen and into the hallway. I’m in the process of taking off my shoes and storing them neatly in the shoe closet, always careful not to leave a mess or do anything to provoke my mother.
“Hey, Dad!” I say, unable to hide my surprise yet again. “I thought you were already gone?”
“Heading out in a few minutes, actually,” he says in his deep voice, and nods toward his packed camo-green duffel bag on the floor of the living room.
“Oh, right,” I say just as my mom descends the stairs. I step back to make room for her to pass me and she does so without so much as a “hello” to me. “When do you think you’ll be back?” I ask my dad, hoping he’ll check in a little more frequently, especially once Steve leaves for Boston.
“Uh, I’m not sure. Probably not for a while. Your mom’s not very happy with me right now,” he admits sheepishly.
I nod, pressing my lips together. Fucking great.
“How was camping?” my dad inquires, eagerly changing the subject. He leans back against the doorframe, watching me.
“Great,” I say with a smile. It really was an incredible weekend and I already miss Cat.
“Yeah? You look like it was a great weekend,” my dad grins at me. “Cat seems pretty great, too.”
I notice my mother behind him in the kitchen, analyzing me. “She is,” I agree with him and grab my stuff off the floor to take it up to my room.
“When were you going to tell us about the fact that you have a girlfriend?” My mom already has a small frown on her face.
Never. I was never going to fucking tell you about Cat, I think as I turn around to face her. I only shrug.
“How long has this been going on, Ronan?” she asks, her arms crossed in front of her chest.
“Cat told me they’ve been dating a month now,” my dad says, still smiling, completely unaware of the rising tension. “I like her. You had already met her?” my dad asks my mom.
“Once, I guess,” she says, her tone dismissive. “But she didn’t say anything about seeing Ronan then.”