Page 38 of Peer & Coco

Soft footsteps penetrated his thoughts. He looked over his shoulder. As if by needing her, she knew to come to him, Coco walked to the couch and snuggled on his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and sighed deeply.

"You're supposed to be in bed," he whispered.

"I would rather be with you." She kissed his neck, underneath his beard. "Besides, I can't sleep when you're near."

"You're going to be stiff and sore after sitting in the rocker all night." He rubbed her hip.

"I'll survive." She tilted back her head without raising it from his shoulder. "You went on a ride."

He grunted, not denying it.

"You smell like dust," she said.

"I need a shower."

"Not yet." She slipped her arms around his sides. "Give me a few more minutes with you without any interruptions."

He held her. "What's really going on?"

She shook her head against him. Coco was the only thing going right in his life. He couldn't deal with drama right now, not with shit happening within the club and Kelli threatening to tear apart his personal life.

"Did Kelli say something to you?" He kissed the top of her head. "Is that what's bothering you?"

"It wasn't really something she said, but more of the subject matter that she talked about." She sat up straight on his lap. "She wants to see Tyr."

"She's not going—"

"Hear me out." She gathered his hand and held it between hers. "It's not my place to have an opinion about you, Tyr, and Kelli, and I told her as much. But...I don't remember my real dad because he left before I was born. It wasn't until I watched my stepsiblings go through all the emotional stages of their dad walking out and leaving them with my mom did I realize that I was missing out on knowing my father. Like Tyr and his mom, I was too young to know my father, but there were times in my life, especially when I was a teenager, when I probably did things I shouldn't have, and I looked for that acceptance I should've received from my dad with other people. And —"

"Coco," he muttered, wanting her to stop.

"No, Peer, you have to hear." She lifted her chin and looked at him. "The feelings I buried centered around having a father who wasn't in my life. I felt I wasn't good enough. That I wasn't perfect enough to love. That nobody really wants me is always in the back of my mind. I feel that way with everyone in my life. Lizzy. Monica. Heather. Every past boyfriend. You." She swallowed hard enough, she gulped. "I would hate for Tyr to feel inadequate and vulnerable his whole life because someone who should love him unconditionally...hadn't."

He opened his mouth and shut it. What could he say when he was reeling from the pain that Coco had lived through?

She kissed him softly and got up from his lap.

"I won't let that happen to Tyr," he said adamantly, not wanting her to walk away thinking he'd let any pain come to his son.

She nodded, her gaze softening. "I know you will do your best to let him know he is loved."

He would never allow Tyr to believe his parents' choices—both of them, had any reflection on him. His head pounded. Knowing Coco, being with Coco, living with Coco, he never would've imagined that she had those feelings scarring her.