Page 66 of Deck of Scarlets
When I didn’t say anything, he proceeded, clearly remembering the lack of communication my family presented. “You’re blessed with strength, agility, and rapid healing. We’re not immortal, but we are blessed with those gifts to withstand the evil that plagues this world.”
“But not to survive the Blessing itself?” I retorted. My voice sounded rough, almost like I smoked too many cigarettes.
“No, that final test is up to the Lord himself.”
“Too bad I don’t remember shit. Too bad I’m here and she’s…” Swallowing back my pain, my hands began to shake. I wanted my flask back.
Josh took notice of my body reacting to the conversation. “Why do you drink, Remi?”
His question shouldn’t have come as a surprise, but it made me uneasy. Because he was the first to see me drink, privately, or attempted to before it dropped on the floor, spilling the delicious liquid everywhere. I cringed at how I’d acted, but desperation took over and I’d only wanted a taste, enough to keep the crippling thoughts at bay.
But lying, when he saw it all, would do me no good. “We all have things that comfort us. Mine is alcohol.”
“How long?” he asked, watching my face.
“Since Grams passed. One night, I couldn’t take the pain anymore. That empty feeling of losing someone you love, it became unbearable. My dad has a special cabinet of expensive liquor. I took one, not caring, and ever since then…”
Ever since it touched my lips, silencing all the noise my head couldn’t take anymore, I became addicted. I drank when anything caused a stir of anxiety, afraid to submerge under the dark water of despair. It was what kept me afloat.
I masked it so well, especially since Jeremy and Nickie already drank underage. Nobody knew.
It would turn into another Aiden situation if anyone did, and my parents were not equipped to go through that again.
“We’re going to have to control that,” he said.
“We are not going to control anything,” I scoffed.
He stood then, gathering his weapons from my closet. “As your guardian, I refuse to let you succumb to your demons.” Securing the bow to the quiver, he slung it over his shoulder.
“Funny coming from you.”
“It’s not. Not only are we facing them in reality, but it also looks like we have to face them mentally.”
I stopped my mind from wandering back to Kal fighting for his life, the sounds coming from such a grotesque thing…
“You’re a Scarlet now—”
“No! No. Don’t call me that ever again. I’m not a Scarlet. I’m not fighting those things. You can’t make me.”
He started to laugh, actually fucking laughed at me. “Stop acting so heedless. It’s getting you nowhere.”
“Fuck you! And fuck the Order! You’re all bat shit crazy!”
Josh grabbed me by the arms, pinning them to my sides, his whole body invading my personal space. “Denying it, pretending what you saw, what we all did, isn’t real will do nothing to stop what is coming. It’s always been around you; you’re only seeing it for the first time because of who you are. You’re Remi Marie Watson, a Scarlet, a Blessed child of the Lord, born to carry out a duty to protect mankind. I don’t take lightly to childish antics, and if you continue to behave—”
“And do what? Huh? Are you going to threaten me, Josh?”
The room became too hot, our words slicing through the air to see which one would back down first.
His jaw ticked, those baby blue eyes scorching. “Hold that tongue, or I’ll do it for you.”
I had to be royally fucked up to almost fold at his threat. It sounded too sweet coming from that goddamn glorious mouth. I hated myself entirely.
Because I couldn’t help myself, I just had to get the last word in. Wanting the final blow was in my DNA. “I’d like to see you try.”
Smirking, he took a step back. But I knew, right down in my core, he would always one-up me. “Try to get some sleep. Your ceremony is tomorrow.”
“And if I don’t show?” I threatened.