Page 9 of A Constant Reminder
Chapter 6 – Sam
The next 24 hours passed in a blur. Although I was grateful my dad and brothers came to see me, I was equally grateful they could only stay for a day.
I love my family, but between them and Tyler, I was beginning to feel suffocated.
Tyler tended to always be sweet and attentive, but it was overwhelming having him, plus my dad and brothers, constantly asking if I was okay and what I needed. I was accustomed to doing things myself, so I really didn’t care for all the extra attention.
And when I was used to my brothers always giving me shit, their over-affection just made me feel like more of a victim. I know that wasn’t their intent, but it still drove me insane.
I yearned for everyone to treat me normally again. I wanted my brothers to give me a hard time. I wanted my dad to smile instead of wince every time he looked at me. And I wanted Tyler to stop feeling guilty.
Honestly, I didn’t blame him at all for what happened. My hard-headed, independent self left him that night even though he practically begged me to stay. He offered to go with me, yet I was adamant about being alone.
That was my problem. I would always rather be alone.
No, stop it, Sam. This isn’t your fault either There’s only one person who is responsible for this.
James.
He was just as much of a monster as I remembered. Time had only seemed to fuel his rage. You’d think he would have moved on after four years. I wondered how he’d found me, but it wasn’t hard to figure out when I remembered my dad telling me Tyler paid with a credit card when they’d had lunch together a few weeks earlier. In a small town, it isn’t hard to pay for information you covet…or pay for the information you want hidden for that matter.
But I wasn’t going to tell Tyler that. No, he blamed himself enough already.
Just like I wasn’t going to tell him how James spoke to me the whole time. How he told me that dirty whores don’t get to have happily-ever-after’s. How he would make sure to destroy me but first destroy everyone I loved in the process. And how he’d never stop coming after me. He’d forever be my boogeyman.
The drugs the hospital provided were helping me rest for the moment, but I worried about how I’d ever sleep once I got home.
Because he was right…he was my boogeyman. That feeling from four years ago was back, only this time, it was worse. Back then, I thought he’d had his fun and would leave me alone. Now, I could see that I wasn’t that lucky.
I would forever be looking over my shoulder, and I didn’t know if I’d ever truly feel safe again.
But I had to try. I couldn’t let James break me down into the terrified heap of a woman I was before. I’d finally crawled out of the hole I was stuck in…the hole I was stuck in for years.
Right then and there in that hospital bed, I promised myself I would never let myself fall into that deep, dark place again.
After my family said their goodbyes and headed back to Kansas, I was ready to go the fuck home.
Hospitals always freaked me out a little, and I was tired of being poked and prodded. And although Tyler had attempted to climb in bed and cuddle me a couple of times, nothing would beat laying in our own bed together.
I was ready for he and I to retreat into our own little bubble again. It was ridiculously difficult trying to keep my hands to myself looking at how perfect he was. Even with living in a hospital, the man looked good. Maybe a bit scruffier than usual, but I liked it.
On the other hand, I looked like a troll, and I’m sure I smelled even worse.
I felt that for me to move on past this whole ordeal, I needed to be away from the place where every single person kept bringing it up. There was no way to move past it, if I couldn’t even get past the front door.
By the end of the day, I was cranky to say the least…snapping at everyone who came near me and refusing to let anyone touch me until they sent in the doctor.
When Dr. Wilshire finally entered, I was ready to proclaim I was storming out, but Tyler stood and began to speak.
“Listen Doc, she’s getting antsy and really wants to get out of here. Any way we can make that happen so she can stop verbally abusing your nursing staff?” He shot her that million-dollar smile of his.
Flattery will get you nowhere, Trust Fund.
But the smile on the doctor’s face said she might actually be considering it. Pausing for a moment to gather her thoughts, she walked to the end of my bed.
“Okay Sam, here’s the deal. If I let you out of here, you have to take it easy for a few weeks. No running around, no travel, no stress. You have to relax so your body can heal.”
Anxiously, I nodded.