Page 5 of A Constant Love

Within seconds, she was snoring again, and I held her tight against me.

The previous night, I had asked her what happened with the federal agent, and she didn’t offer up a ton of information. Beforehand, she told me she worried he might ask her some personal questions about her and James’ past history together. I wondered how much he asked, and how much it had affected her having to talk about it again.

Although she had told me pieces of her past in the James regard, I knew there were probably details she left out, for my benefit.

Sam was like a code. Every time I would get a little piece of it cracked, a few more lines would show up that I would have to decipher. Or when I thought I’d found the sypher, she changed the whole damn algorithm on me.

My love for her was boundless, and I was determined to learn everything I could about her…no matter how long it took.

Because despite her believing she was broken or damaged goods, I didn’t see her that way. I saw a woman who had lived through more tragedy and grief than anyone should ever have to. I also saw a woman who didn’t let that stop her from living her life and moving on one day at a time.

Constantly, she would tell me that I helped her to start living her life again, but I didn’t think that was true either. She moved across the country to go to school in a place she didn’t know, with a roommate she hadn’t met, and was able to excel at school and find a best friend in Emily. Plus, she started her own tutoring business, which seemed to sustain her pretty well.

We were both living our lives, but when we found each other, our lives got infinitely better. Living those lives became a lot more fun.

As I laid there, stroking Sam’s hair, I chuckled to myself at how my mother could be so stupid as to think I would give up the woman of my dreams for money. Because in all honesty, that’s what Sam was to me…the woman of my dreams. Funny thing was though, I never would have known that before meeting her.

When I used to think of the woman I would spend the rest of my life with, I guess I had always pictured someone from my own world. For a long time, that image included Marisol. We were both affluent, we were both charismatic, and we were both a bit impulsive. It just seemed to make sense.

Now, I look back, and I can’t believe how naïve I was. Marisol and I were too similar, and it never would have worked.

Sam was so uniquely different. She was sweet and kind and thoughtful…but always without knowing she was any of those things. She was also strong and fiercely independent. Even when she drove me crazy by pushing me away, I still somehow managed to love her more.

As we laid there, Sam shifted herself, nuzzling her face into my chest. Despite the fact that my arm was numb, and her hair was in my face, I wasn’t going anywhere. I would have laid there all damn day with her.

Moments later, our puppy, Mason, jumped on the bed to join us, curling into a ball and laying between Sam’s feet.

Six months ago, you could have told me I would be there in that position, and I would have bet you a million dollars you were wrong.

Six months ago, I was living my life to (what I thought) was the fullest. Parties a few nights a week with my friends…or people who pretended to be my friends. Taking a new girl to my bed at every one of those parties…fucking them seven ways to Sunday until they screamed my name…and asking them to leave the moment it was done.

But I knew something was missing. Despite how hard I pretended everything was perfect, my nights alone spent with a bottle of whiskey made it hard to deny something was wrong.

And yes, the women I banged were hot and dirty and let me do practically anything I wanted to them, but I never wanted anything more than that from them. I wanted to get my dick wet…nothing more. I didn’t want to go on dates. I didn’t want them staying the night. Hell, I didn’t even really want to see them again…unless the sex was worth coming back for round 2.

Then, there was Sam. The girl who asked me to fuck her with no strings attached, yet I couldn’t just leave her alone. Instead, I asked her to move in with me when she had nowhere else to go. Instead, I stopped hooking up with other women merely to spend time with her. Instead, I ended up falling in love with her.

And now that we were in that place, there was no way I was ever going back.

Chapter 4 – Sam

I walked down the street as the crisp night air gave me a slight chill. Instinctively, my hands crossed over my chest in attempt to stay warm, and I wished I had worn a warmer jacket.

Two arms wrapped around me from behind. “You cold, baby girl?”

I look up into his eyes. James. It was only our third date, but I knew we had something special. People told us that fifteen was too young to be serious, but hell, what did they know?

James was tall and handsome and just so sweet. One look from him made me swoon. His arms around me made me feel safe, and I never wanted him to let go.

Looking up into his brown eyes, I yearned for him to kiss me. Three dates in, and his lips had yet to find mine.

Every time, he just seemed so nervous. The first time we went to the movies, he kept his hands in his pockets the whole time as if scared we might accidentally hold hands. When I finally grabbed his hand when he wasn’t looking, his cheeks turned bright red.

I liked that about him. It was nice that we were taking things slow. After all, he was my first real boyfriend.

But come on, it was just a kiss!

Before I could think another moment, he stopped walking and turned me around. His hands on my waist, he pulled me closer as he leaned down, his soft lips finally pressing against mine.