Page 5 of A Constant Christmas
I take a long drink of iced tea before answering. “It’s just I feel like I am in a rut. It’s like I am on a treadmill. You know, I’m moving, but I am going absolutely nowhere. Don’t get me wrong, T, I love being a wife and a mom, but that isn’t all I want to be. It’s not even that I miss working that much. I like being at home. But I would also like to remember what it feels like to not be too tired to read a book. I wish I could remember what it feels like to be hot for my husband again. It’s like I feel dead inside or something.”
Once I started talking, everything just came out without me even taking a breath. I guess I’ve been holding it all in for longer than I realized.
“Have you talked to Tyler about it?” She asks.
My head shakes back and forth. “Tess, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea here. Your brother is an amazing husband. I mean the second he is home from work, he tries to help me in whatever way he can. It’s me who is walking around like an extra from The Walking Dead most of the time.”
“Do you let him help you?”
“Sometimes. Usually, it’s just easier and faster if I do it myself.”
She gives me a pretty excessive eye roll. “You are going to kill yourself with all that you do especially this time of year. Have you thought about just chilling out a little bit?”
I shake my head again. “No. I love Christmas. Always have. It just gets a lot when I am doing all the shopping, wrapping, decorating, and cooking.”
“And you still won’t let Tyler help?”
“He’s just so busy at work. I feel bad asking him to come home and help me when I haven’t been working all day. I stay home with the kids. He goes to work and then comes home, and I ask him to help with the kids? Doesn’t seem very fair.”
She slaps the top of my hand.
“Ow!” I squeal. “What was that for?”
“Because it is not 1950! Stop with that backward ass way of thinking. I can guarantee you that what you do around here is ten times harder than what Tyler does at work all day. And I’m sure he would agree with me. My brother is a lot of things, but a chauvinist isn’t one of them. So, stop being so damn stubborn, accept the help!”
“But…”
“No buts! I am tired of seeing you so tired and cranky all the time. Remember when you used to be fun?” She gives me a slight smile.
I sigh. “Yeah, I guess.”
“I want that Sam back! Haven’t you ever heard the expression that you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others? Don’t you think you’d be a better, more patient mother if you weren’t so stressed out?”
Most might take offense to Tess’s words, but I don’t. She’s always blunt and tends not to have much of a filter. And usually, it’s exactly what people need to hear.
“I guess you’re right,” I mumble under my breath.
“You know I’m right.”
“But it doesn’t mean that I know exactly how to make that happen. My control issues aren’t exactly easy to let go of,” I argue.
She grabs my hand, and I flinch thinking she’s going to slap it again. This time, she just holds it in hers. “You are going to accept help when it’s offered. You are going to let that husband of yours take care of you from time to time. And you are going to accept whatever Christmas gift he gives you without arguing that you don’t need it.”
I nod at her words because I want to do what she’s saying. I really do.
But that’s a whole hell of a lot easier said than done.
Chapter Five
Tyler
“Mr. Wendell, your sister is here.”
The voice of my secretary comes through my phone. Then, it’s followed by a “Ma’am, you can’t just go back there.”
Before I can tell Susie that it’s okay, Tess is already flying through the door with Susie right on her heels.
“Susie, it’s alright,” I say softly, and she walks out and shuts the door.