Page 17 of For What It's Worth

I took the clothes and nodded, all without looking at him, careful to not graze his fingers. Then I hurried from the room, ignoring the pain building in my chest.

Entering the bathroom, I found the candles blown out, their lids securely placed. Several switches were by the door, working the lighting in different areas of the room. I stared at my dream tub, wishing I could’ve taken it with me when I left.

The counter space was covered in numerous products, almost like they had been strategically laid out. In fact, despite the drying towel I had used earlier for my body, the sink, floor, and tub looked clean to the point that there weren’t even water stains. If all the males had bathrooms in their bedrooms, who used this one?

After I put on my normal clothes, I stood in the middle of the bathroom, holding the robe and only slightly panicking over what to do with it. Did I bring it out into the living room so they could clean it? Did I just leave it the way I found it, marking it as mine for another omega to notice? I stared at myself in the mirror above the sink, knowing if any of the alphas barged in, I would’ve looked crazy.

I could admit, in another lifetime, I would have enjoyed being the omega to these alphas. The tub I’d always wanted in a bathroom just for me, a nest full of pleasurable scents and large enough for all four of us, even the delicious coffee with the attentive males who knew how to make it. Addie with his lightness, Enzo with his comfort, and Jen with his encouragement.

And I wanted to cling to it. I wanted to ask them to wait a little bit longer—until I graduated or maybe worked for a few years. Then I could be their omega.

But to ask them to put their lives on hold for me? I wasn’t that selfish.

No matter how much I wanted them, I was still keeping my inner omega hidden, living as the part of myself that identified as a beta. Maybe I could’ve taken on one alpha, especially since this pack had a history of dating betas, but there was no way I could’ve chosen between the three. Omegas got packs—not betas.

This pack wanted to share a female—an omega. They might want me temporarily, but just like the other female betas, I wasn’t endgame. Not while I was still a beta.

I needed to leave. I needed to focus on school, on graduating and living my life as a typical beta. Maybe even make a friend. The only person that said “hi” to me regularly was Knox, and she had to say hi to everyone who lived in our dorm.

Taking a deep breath, I left the robe draped over the tub, so it wasn’t on the floor but would still be washed, and braced myself to say goodbye to the alphas. I told myself over and over again that I wanted this.

I found the alphas sitting in the living room. Despite their relaxed postures, the air was full of melancholy and silence. All three males looked my way when I entered, but they didn’t look happy to see me. They looked more … resigned.

“Thank you for washing my clothes.” Just those words felt impossible to get out.

“Of course, Koda.” Jenson never took his eyes from mine, blatantly ignoring Aidan glaring at him.

“I have to leave,” I said.

“We’ll drive you home,” Aidan said, finally tearing his gaze away from Jenson to look at me. It was the blond alpha I was most worried about convincing me to stay. While Jenson was an alpha to always support me and Enzo was an alpha to put my wants above his, Addie was an alpha unable to hide his emotions. His sadness. His longing.

“I think it’s better if we part ways here. Now.” I ignored the swelling feeling in the back of my throat and the pain in my heart as I said the words. But now that I’d started, I couldn’t seem to get them to stop. “Whatever you think happened earlier in the classroom didn’t. My natural scent is the scent I claim, and every designation test I’ve ever took says beta. So that’s what I am.”

“Koda—” Lorenzo called my name, trying to interrupt me, but I kept going, ignoring the burn that had moved from my throat to the back of my eyes.

“Please, you can’t tell anyone. I’m so close to graduating. I know it’s against the rules, but technically I am beta. Like a half-beta and there aren’t rules against that.”

All I could do was wait, holding my breath until my lungs burned. It was terrifying that my future solely relied on these males. My whole body was shaking with nerves, and I clung to that instead of my sadness. I had no back-up plan if I was kicked out of the academy. My heart wouldn’t be able to take the loss of this pack with the loss of school. I didn’t know what was so different about this pack, what called me to them, and them to me. But I knew my omega had decided they were hers. And losing too much might’ve destroyed me.

All three males finally broke the deafening silence, agreeing to keep my secret.

I refused to let the relief fill my body, although I did finally take a breath, gasping for air. I stared extra hard at Jenson, pleading with my eyes.

Finally, he said, “I promise Koda. I won’t tell anyone. You can keep going to school.”

I felt like I could breathe easier knowing my secret was safe, even if it did nothing to block out the pain in my heart. My inner omega didn’t care about my education. She was focused on the scents coming from the alphas, wanting to console them. Aidan’s sadness. Jenson’s frustration. Lorenzo’s anger. But I fought it.

“I need my backpack and phone please.”

Aidan stood, walking off toward the hallway with his bedroom. It took me until the door slammed to realize he wasn’t planning to get my stuff.

“I’ll get it,” Jen said, his words feeling quiet even in the silence.

Then it was just me and Enzo. Not even my beta side was immune to wanting to comfort him. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair before I lost that right. But I never had it. They wanted an omega, and I wasn’t ready to be one. My choices were pack or school. Alphas or a career. I wanted to explain that, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t know how to get my tongue to move, how to get the words out, how to make his pain go away. “Enzo—

“Here you go, Koda.” Jenson came back into the room holding my stuff. Enzo left without a goodbye, and all I could do was watch. “I ordered a car service to come get you.”

“Thank you.”