Page 50 of For What It's Worth
There was a long silence before I heard a shaky exhale on the other end of the line. “I will stop now, Orsetta, but soon you and I will not. Now put me on speaker and keep packing. I want you home as soon as possible.”
I didn’t tell him I hadn’t started yet. In fact, I kept the phone close to my ear and turned to stare at the closet, wondering how I was going to get my pillows and blankets to my new nest.
“Orsetta? I don’t hear you moving around.”
“Um, I don’t know how to pack up my pillows. They all smell like omega, and if I take them out to the hallway…”
“We can get you more pillows.”
The whimper that escaped my throat was more instinctual than emotional. I wanted my pillows. The ones that already had my scent even if I wanted more later on. I’d always want more pillows, but it somehow felt disloyal to not take these ones with me. As if they had feelings and I’d hurt them by leaving them behind.
“Okay, okay, it was just a suggestion, Orsetta.” I liked the way his accent made his words run together. “You have a duffle bag? Something to shove your favorite pillows in to mute the scent?”
“I only have the luggage carriers I was going to pack my clothes in. And even if I wanted to pack the pillows in them, there isn’t enough space for all of them.”
“Just grab your favorites. We can make a couple trips to pick up the rest of your pillows when we visit campus.”
It wasn’t my favorite idea, but realistically, it was the only option. I grabbed the suitcases from under the bed and started with the clothes. Most of them were already laid out so it was just a matter of carefully folding and placing them inside. I set the phone on speaker, setting it on the bed in a rare space absent of clothes, and listened to Enzo talk to me.
He told me about where he thought he’d find more pillows for me. That maybe he could get me handmade ones that would smell of his home. He promised to get me more pillows than Aidan and Jen.
By the time Jen came out, I’d filled up the first suitcase with all my favorite clothes. I tentatively scented the air, but there was no more pungent odor of sadness or guilt. Actually, there was nothing except the chemical washes to remove scents. Since his hair was so short, there was no sign that he’d just taken a shower. Without a flush on his cheeks, I assumed he put himself through a cold one. But I didn’t bring it up, not wanting to put Jen back in the poor mental state he had worked his way out of.
“How’s it going, little bear?”
“She needs to pick out a couple of pillows from her old nest,” Enzo said before I got a chance to answer my alpha. “We’ll go back for the others later.”
Jen could no doubt feel my stress over the little action when he asked, “Do you need help?”
I shook my head, exhaling the tension. Or trying to. It was hard to choose which pillows would get to come with me and which ones stayed behind. It might be weird to feel guilty over inanimate objects, but these pillows were steadfast fixtures in my life. They were around for happy cuddles, comforting me when I was sad, something to squeeze when I was scared. And they were mine. I didn’t have any decorations, but I had these pillows and blankets, and every single one was one I’d picked out specifically because I knew it would bring me happiness.
Deciding to go with a random method, I closed my eyes, spun, and grabbed whatever my hand touched. It was like the trolley theory. I wasn’t pulling the lever, just letting the trolley go on its path. It felt less like a backstabbing move this way.
“I think that might be enough for our first trip, little bear. We will come back for the rest, I promise.” Jen took them from my grip and started folding up the single blanket my random picking managed to get. I helped him zip up the suitcases, and then we left the dorm. It felt like an unofficial goodbye, and I was surprised I was only a little bit sad.
“Professor Jenson, what are you doing with Koda’s belongings?”
I should’ve noticed the pepper-like scent of my RA, but in my defense, Jen was very distracting, especially when he carried all of my shit like I’d break if I was forced to drag a suitcase full of pillows and clothes to the car. And even though I wasn’t attracted to Knox, I appreciated the way her alpha posturing was in defense of me.
Resting my hand on Jen’s shoulder to try to draw his attention my way, I said to Knox, “It’s all good, Professor Jenson is my mate.” I dragged down my shirt to show Knox the bond mark, but the female alpha didn’t seem impressed. In fact, her scent became bitter with anger. My instincts told me to hide the mark, and I didn’t hesitate to listen, confused on the why, but feeling the importance of the action.
“You bonded a beta?” She growled at my alpha. The air thickened with tension, as if making a single loud sound would send the alphas into a frenzy.
“I don’t think that’s any of your business,” I said to Knox. I tried not to be aggressive with the RA who’d been nice to me, but I was feeling defensive. I was offended by her words, but I had to get used to this treatment. Even from supposed friends. Maybe that was what made it worse. Some stranger was kinder than Knox who I thought liked me—even if I’d thought she simply liked everyone.
The alpha looked over at me when I spoke to her, something like regret shining in her eyes.
Jen snapped, “Don’t look at her.”
Oh shit. This wasn’t going well. Jen hadn’t yelled, but he did have disapproving authority figure down pat. His scent, which had been hidden, was blooming with aggression.
“Jen, let’s just go,” I whined. “Knox doesn’t mean anything by it.”
I could see the struggle playing out through Jen’s body and on his face. Part of him wanted to please me, and the other demanded he show his claim over me in front of another alpha. To demand respect for him and his bonded mate. Except it wasn’t just another alpha now. The betas who were in their dorm rooms on a Saturday afternoon were starting to make an appearance in the hallway as the drama unfolded. Betas tended to stay away from aggressive alphas, but apparently their curiosity was getting the better of their instincts.
“Have you updated the Chancellor about this … relationship?” Knox asked.
“We will,” Jen said, sounding like he didn’t want to now that Knox had brought it up.