Page 36 of For All My Effort
“How come people stare at you?” I knew it would be something private. I was just more curious than I was polite.
“I bonded my pack. The world sees me as a beta that took the position of an omega. At a school with a lot of alphas, I’m not exactly popular.”
“What about with the betas?”
My hair was officially covered in bleach. The smell was strong, attempting to burn all my nose hairs and making my eyes water.
Koda washed her hands before answering. “I’ve gotten a lot of support too. Probably mixed with the betas. Some think I’ve sold myself off to alphas, trying to be an omega while others see it as a sort of protest against omegas.”
“It’s obvious none of them are in a pack.”
“What do you mean?”
“If they were, then they wouldn’t question why you’re in a pack or why alphas would bond a beta. Designations are supposed to be about biology, not social rules. They’re supposed to help us understand each other, not control our actions.”
I wanted to get up and pace, the conversation something I was truly passionate about. I forced myself to stay seated, as I continued. “Designations might hold facts, but I don’t get why laws should be based on them. Sure, I go into heat, but it should be my choice if and when I want alphas to help me through it. It doesn’t make sense to make rules on biology. We’re people, with emotions, not just sex organs.”
My spiel came to an anticlimactic end since it was just Koda and I, alone, in a bathroom surrounded by hair products.
“Even your memory loss didn’t change your opinions and beliefs. I’m glad,” Koda admitted. “You’re not wrong, though. Rudimentary science has had a weird hold on social norms. The knowledge and understanding of designations were supposed to be helpful, not condemning.”
“It’s abuse. Not just the rules themselves that hurt people, but intelligence abuse. Like that politician guy who was talking shit about me the other week? He has easy access to the public to spread information that was blatantly wrong, knowing that no one could argue with him.”
A timer went off on Koda’s phone and then we very awkwardly rinsed the bleach out of my hair. It involved leaning into the shower, with the rain shower head already on. Koda stood next to me with a fresh towel trying to protect the top of my shirt from getting soaked.
We were both getting slightly splashed around the ankles, but this was the best we could do. Finally, all the bleach was out and then I had my hair wrapped up in a towel.
“Shit, I forgot a blow-dryer. Do you have one?” Koda asked.
I snorted. “I literally have no idea.”
All of my mates’ bathrooms had my shower and morning necessities which I’ve been using since I haven’t slept a single night alone. Considering my room was technically my nest, I knew a dryer wasn’t in there.
Koda opened the door, yelling through the small crack she made, “Does Hannah have a hairdryer?”
I heard some yelling, and then someone stomping their way up the stairs. Then someone handed a dryer to Koda who effectively shut the door in their face, earning a chuckle out of me. It took some time to get my hair dry again, the strands looking more yellow than white.
“Does this look right to you?” Koda asked when she finished. She was looking at my hair too, both of us not quite sure why it wasn’t as light as we’d expected.
I shrugged. “The color will cover it anyways, right?”
She nodded. “I guess we’re going to find out.”
Another bowl was mixed, and a new towel was wrapped around my shoulders. Without further ado, Koda grabbed a chunk of the dye and popped it onto my hair. At least this mixture didn’t smell as bad.
“How are your classes going?” Koda asked.
“Fine. I’m behind, but apparently Seb has managed to work something out with my professors. I’m trying to review everything we’ve already done before jumping into starting something new. Plus, I want to pick out a major.”
“You’re undecided.”
“That’s an understatement. They’re so many options.”
I watched in the mirror as Koda’s eyebrows furrowed. I watched her bite the inside of her cheek, looking like she had something to say.
“What?” I asked.
She still wasn’t looking at me, all of her intense concentration suddenly on my hair. “Did you know that I consider myself an omega? I nest, can take a knot, have a strong sense of smell, all of the omega characteristics without perfuming like one. When I first applied to the academy, I was told that they’d require a test to prove my beta status.”