Page 156 of Crystal Luna

“Just great. What were those rogues doing there anyway?”

“Exploring the cliffs. They found a way to get past our patrols without being spotted.”

Asher updated her on everything that had happened while she’d been unconscious. He could feel it when she reached for Isaiah, who practically burst through the door seconds later. He sat down on her other side and laid his head on the mattress.

While she ran her fingers through Isaiah’s hair, she closed her eyes and let him hold her hand. “Talk to me, Isaiah.”

Isaiah tilted his head, his face pale and his eyes wide as he stared at Vel. “He used to say that to me.”

She sighed and turned her eyes on him, they were red but unlike his, it was from exhaustion—not emotion. Only then did it dawn on him that she wasn’t grieving.

“It’s no secret that I hated him, but that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me. You don’t have to hide your feelings or pretend like it hurts less just because I don’t care.”

“That’s not true,” Isaiah countered. Vel opened her mouth to retort, but Isaiah shook his head. “You do care, but I can’t figure out why you are upset. He’s dead, he paid the price and put your life above his, but still you’re angry with him.” Isaiah’s tone had stayed soft, his face gentle and without judgement.

Asher watched her jaw work as she thought over her answer. “The price he paid wasn’t high enough.”

Asher visibly flinched. She spoke in a neutral monotone, but her words were cruel. If not his life, what price would have been enough?

“Why would you say that?” Asher blurted, opposed to even entertain the thought that Ely’s sacrifice was too little of a punishment.

“Because he took the easy way out. He only lived with the truth for mere days while I have to deal with it for the rest of my life. He deserved so much more than to take his own life by hurling himself off a cliff.”

“You wanted him to suffer?” Isaiah asked, though they both already knew her answer.

“I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. Not a day goes by where I don’t relive the pain he put me through. Years of suffering the same nightmare over and over. Death is far too easy of an escape.”

They were both rendered speechless.

“Now, talk to me,” she repeated, this time her tone soft, laced with a hint of concern.

“I…” Isaiah started, but clearly had no idea how to put his thoughts into words. He stood up and began to pace the length of the room, tears filling his eyes again. “He was always there… always.”

“He was your brother,” Vel softly added, her sole focus being Isaiah.

“He… He wasn’t…” Isaiah stuttered, and started to pull his hair. “He can’t just fucking leave! I need him.”

Asher could feel Isaiah’s nails digging into his scalp through the bond. He desperately wanted to get up and stop him, but Vel held him in place. With a subtle shake of her head, she kept her eyes on Isaiah.

“He wasn’t supposed to die.”

“But that’s not what’s driving you mad.”

Isaiah spun, turning a dark gaze on his mate. “He hurt you.”

“You have no closure with your best friend.”

“He wasn’t supposed to fucking die!”

The moment Vel swung her legs over the edge of the bed, Isaiah’s anger was washed away by concern. He rushed forward to stop her, but she simply held her arms out and pulled him into a hug.

“You shouldn’t be standing yet,” he whispered, hiding in the crook of her neck.

She ignored him, running her fingers over his back. “I know you loved him like a brother. I know you didn’t want him hurt and I know you also hated him for what he did to me. I wish you could’ve overcome what happened between you two, but you know what? You’ll see each other again before Isis when it’s time.”

“I fucking miss him and at the same time I hate him because how dare he leave me behind? He swore to stick by our side and be our beta. He wasn’t supposed to fucking leave us! He wasn’t supposed to hurt you. I love him and I hate him and that was the last thing I told him. I told him that he was a useless piece of shit and that I didn’t want him near me. He died thinking I hated him. He died thinking he was worthless. No one deserves that—not even him. And I know that’s stupid because he deserves punishment.”

“It’s okay,” Vel hushed, holding him tighter. “Your feelings are valid—no matter what they are. You’re allowed to be angry and grieve and feel left behind all at once. There is no right and wrong way to do this.”