Page 61 of Crystal Luna
“But?” Her tone was still calm, hiding any hints of pain or judgement.
Suddenly, his words were lost. He couldn’t remember what he’d been so stressed about.
“I enjoy when we talk openly, but if you’re not ready right now that’s fine. I just want you to know that I’m here when you are.”
She moved to stand up, but he reached his hand out, attempting to stop her but she’d moved too far out of reach. Instead, she walked back and took his hand.
His head tilted, he looked up at her, trying to figure out how not to hurt her. “I want you to stay.”
“I will as long as you want.”
“But when I woke up next to you, I was… disappointed. Disappointed that you weren’t her. You didn’t feel as good in my arms as she did and all I wanted was her and not you.”
His voice shook and his vision blurred, but he wasn’t sure why. It could have been the pain of Laureen’s absence, or because he knew how his words would hurt Velora.
“I want you to stay—but it’s for selfish reasons. I want you to stay because I know it’ll be less lonely. But I also know that I’ll still wish for Laureen to return to me. I don’t want to hurt you, but I miss my mate.”
To his surprise, Velora didn’t drop his hand. Instead, she brought her free one up to cup his cheek, giving him a sweet smile. “I know.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“I thought about that too, you know? One day someone much more handsome than you will walk into my life and my heart will only beat for him. I too would rather be in my mate’s arms. But right now, it’s just us—lonely, sad, and broken us. If I could, I would bring her back to you, but I think I’m the bad guy here. I’m using your loneliness to soothe my own pain.”
“You’re not,” he quickly disagreed.
“I am, because when I find the other half of my soul, I’ll only hurt you by walking away. It’s why I didn’t want to stay tonight. I didn’t completely think this through.”
“I guess that means we’re using each other then. If you’re okay with that, then so am I.”
“I am, but you can tell me when you’re ready for it to end.”
He pulled her down to the chair and helped her straddle his lap. She followed his lead, resting her forehead against his.
“Do you want to talk about her? Because I’d love to listen. Or, you can simply use me to forget.”
“I want to forget,” he admitted.
“How about I read to you again?”
“I’d like that.” He stood with her in his arms and walked to his bedroom. “You get comfortable and I’ll go get everything”
She pressed a kiss to his cheek before he set her down and handed her some clothes to change in. When he returned, she was cuddled under the blanket waiting for him.
She read until she couldn’t keep her eyes open. That’s when she set the book aside and snuggled up to him, her warmth and comfort soothing some of his pain. As he pulled her closer, her shirt slipped up and his hand touched the bare skin of her stomach. She flinched as if his touch burned her.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He quickly covered her back up, resting his hand over the fabric of her shirt. The simple act made her relax.
“It’s okay.”
Only then did it hit him that something far worse than slavery could have happened to her. Something far more violating than he could imagine. He pressed a kiss to her hair, careful not to let his hand slip anywhere inappropriate.
With his dreams came Laureen’s presence, his heart and soul filling with her love before he woke up to Velora weaving her fingers with his while slipping out of his grip. She was still asleep, her face peaceful as her eyes twitched under her lids.
The moment he was awake, he felt guilty. Not just for holding Velora while dreaming about Laureen, but because Velora wasn’t the one he wanted to see. Looking up at the ceiling, he recalled their conversation from just a few hours ago. With each word he pulled from his memory the guilt eased and he was able to fall back asleep and return to Laureen’s open arms once again.
Chapter Nineteen
Velora