Page 34 of Drunk In Love
“I can’t help but think of Maxwell. I should be excited to finally go out with Zach and get to know him where it’s just the two of us, with no one else we know around. But I’m not thinking of him. I’m thinking of Max.”
What I didn’t say was that Max had infiltrated my every waking thought. Beyond working on the FJ assignment together, I thought about him in the small space of my apartment. I saw him at work. Max was everywhere, and I couldn’t shake how right that kiss felt. I tried desperately pushing it out of my mind, but it played like a song on repeat, and I couldn’t turn it off.
Maxwell advised he’d be working late today and would head over to his place when he was done. So far, no other car had been seen tailing us since that day, so he felt okay to spend a night back in his place. Besides, it’s not like I would be all alone tonight.
Still, the conversation had been awkward today as I left the office and returned home to get ready. Heading to the train station and back to my apartment, I had my weapon with me just in case.
Maxwell’s face as I left was crestfallen, as if he wanted to say more but didn’t. Or couldn’t.
“I say you go on the date and get to know Zach better. As a single woman, you have options. Besides, how many times does Max have to tell you that he’s not interested in relationships? I’ve been through that with men before. If they tell you they are not looking for anything serious, believe them.”
“You’re right,” I say. I didn’t know if a relationship was something I wanted with Zach. If Max showed up here right now and told me not to go on this date with Zach and to be with him instead, would I do it? The only relationship I knew of with Max was an ex-girlfriend he was on and off with, and after their breakup, he’d vowed to be single. I didn’t want to encounter another man who was so stuck in his ways. Been there before.
Also, our friendship mattered more than a great kiss. It was an epic kiss but one I was trying to put out of my mind.
“Of course I’m right!” Nicole exclaims, taking her phone out of her back jeans pocket and glancing at the time. “No more talking. You need to get going because you’ll need to leave here soon.”
I spent the next forty-five minutes getting ready and thinking about Nicole’s advice. Why was I so pressed about Max? He was my friend. Yes, my handsome friend who I felt I could be completely myself around, but he always talked about his lack of belief in relationships.
Why go after a man who could never truly be mine?
If it didn’t work out, that would make work hella awkward and ruin our friendship. I’ve had my share of fuckboys, commitment-phobes, and men in general who can’t pull their heads out of their asses. I don’t need to deal with that ever again. Nope. I was going to have a good time on this date and forget all about Max and the kiss we shared.
Or at least I would try.
Zach lived in lower Manhattan near the Tribeca neighborhood. Returning from Jersey City to New York made the West Village central to us both. My rule was to always meet dates because you never knew who was crazy, and the need may arise to have to escape. Or, if the date was going badly, the last thing I wanted was to be trapped in a car with a man I already lacked chemistry with.
Zach remained secretive about our outing. The heels I was wearing had a thick enough heel that I didn’t think I’d be falling in the melee that was moving about Manhattan.
When I googled the address, the building didn’t give too much info about what was inside. It only made me more curious about what was in store for Zach and I this evening.
Nearing the last corner on Christopher Street, I think of Maxwell and where he is in that moment. I’m aware that I should not be thinking about the man I kissed when I was on my way to a date with another man.
“Kamaya!” I hear Zach call my name. “You look amazing,” he says, giving me a hug that lingered a little longer than we normally would have.
“Thank you,” I say. “So what are we doing tonight? You’ve kept me in suspense long enough.” I decide that I will put Max out of mind for the remainder of the night. He wasn’t sweating me; I wasn’t going to do the same.
Or at least I’d try.
“Instead of the boring dinner and movie, I thought you’d like a cooking class, since you mentioned wanting to learn new cuisines.”
I’m surprised at how much Zach was paying attention to details and immediately admire this about him. “A cooking class is perfect!”
Zach smiles, pleased with his choice. “I’m so thankful that you like it,” Zach says, glancing down at his watch. “We gotta get going.”
Our conversation is amiable in the elevator up to the cooking class. The usual first date jitters are absent. No worrying about pulling my stomach in or making sure to always say something clever. I could be myself with Zach now that he’d started reciprocating interest. It was almost like speaking with a friend.
No, that wasn’t right. I definitely didn’t feel the same way with Zach that I felt with Maxwell. With Maxwell, at times it was like we shared our own secret language that only the two of us could decipher. I didn’t have that kind of relationship with anyone else. Even with Nicole or my sisters.
Ah! I’m doing it again. Cannot think about Max at any point tonight.
We make it to the fifth floor of the multi-business space and Zach leads us to the New York Can Cook! doors.
“This is so cute!” I say to Zach.
New York Can Cook! is a small space with countertops wide enough for two, almost reminding me of the desks used in high school chemistry classes. Instead of Bunsen burners, there’s cutlery, knives, mixing bowls, and cutting boards. Also, along with cooking instruments, there’s a box of pasta, sauce, and black pepper.
The instructor and their assistant quickly start passing out white aprons and begin the lesson in a prompt manner. While listening to their opening instructions, Zach and I make eye contact, trying desperately to hold back our laughter at their extreme antics.