Page 6 of My Vampire Plus-One

“No, really,” I continued. “Climate change is definitely more important to vampire life in the twenty-first century than a party faux pas from over one hundred years ago thatmighthave resulted in slight calamity.”

“Slight calamity?” Frederick asked, incredulous.

I didn’t blush anymore. I couldn’t; the blood stopped flowing when a person turned. But if Icouldblush, I’d probably have been doing it then. “Depending on how you view things, you could even say I’d saved those people’s sorry little lives.”

I turned away before I could see the face Frederick undoubtedly made at my claim, then crumpled up The Collective’s letterand threw it on the floor. I wished Frederick had a fireplace I could throw it into. Watching it catch fire and disintegrate into ash…well. I’d never had the opportunity to throw a letter threatening my life into a fire before, but I imagined it must feel really good. But while Frederick was comfortably off, and his home was filled with the kinds of comforts usually only enjoyed by the comfortably off, he didn’t have a working fireplace.

And so the stupid letter sat there like the crumpled-up wad of nasty Denny’s menu it was rather than bursting into a far more satisfying ball of flames.

“Pick that up,” Frederick said. He eyed the thing like it was a dog dropping. “Cassie will be home from work soon.”

I snorted. “She’s a slob. Why would she care?”

Frederick only glared at me. Frederick’s and Cassie’s different attitudes towards housekeeping were one of the few bones of contention they had as far as I could tell—though I supposed it was one thing for someone to criticize theirownhuman girlfriend for leaving her dirty socks on the kitchen table and something else entirely for your friend to do it.

Especially when you were as utterly smitten with your girlfriend as Frederick was with Cassie. He didn’t talk about their future plans often, but I knew he wanted to propose soon.

Bewildering.

I couldn’t relate to wanting to become that close to another person. Especially when said person was human, and therefore mortal. I hadn’t been able to relate to that sort of feeling in centuries. Not since…

Well.

Notsince.

Love was a good look on my old friend, though. He hardly even brooded anymore. Since Cassie came into his life, sometimeshe evensmiled. I would never tell them this, but I was rooting for them. Even if I didn’t really understand what they had.

I held my tongue and capitulated, picking up my death threat and stuffing it into my pocket so I wouldn’t have to look at it.

“Thank you,” Frederick sniffed.

“Of course. Guess I’ll be off, then.” I needed to go home and think through how I was going to approach this mess.

“Before you go…” Frederick placed a hand on my arm. He looked worried. “Do you think that woman guessed you aren’t human?”

I thought back to my encounter with Amelia Collins. Dark blond hair, bright eyes. Tall. Absolutely furious with me. Under different circumstances, she’d have been just my type. I’d known it was a mistake to tell Frederick about her even as the encounter had practically poured out of me the minute I got to his apartment.

The problem was, I’d always had a thing for accountants. Their organized minds were such a delicious contrast to the intentionally erratic way I lived. But there was no time to think about what Amelia Collins might look like when she was laughing for real, or how that warm little hand of hers I’d briefly touched would feel like entwined with my own. I’d never see her again.

More importantly, she washuman. I had sworn off fucking with anything mortal during the Carter Administration. Though perhaps it would be all right for me to hire her to help me with my taxes, once my current situation was resolved. My finances were a mess. One of the unexpected perks to living forever and having obvious advantages over humans was that money seemed to always find me, no matter how hard I tried to dodge it. I needed an accountant who was good at their job to help me figure out what was going on.

I bet she was good at her job.

I bet she was good at lots of things, even if fake laughing wasn’t one of them.

Frederick cleared his throat. He was waiting for an answer. “She…didn’t have time to notice me,” I lied. “I apologized for bumping into her like the gentleman I am, and immediately flew here.”

Frederick didn’t need to know I was lying. Fortunately, he seemed to take me at face value. He simply nodded, then took a small step back to eye what I was wearing. “You need to start borrowing my clothes. You stick out like a sore thumb dressed like this.”

I looked down at my outfit. This T-shirt and pink skirt combo had been my favorite ever since I found it at the consignment store a month ago. Frederick had a point, as much as I didn’t like it, but what was the point of living forever if you had to blend in? But even I had to acknowledge that standing out too much right then might get me into trouble.

“I’ll miss my band T-shirts,” I said, wistfully.

“I know.”

“And Old Fuzzy.”

Frederick gave a sympathetic nod. Which was nice of him to do; I knew he loathed how I dressed. “Once you no longer need to blend into your surroundings quite so much, you can go back to dressing like a stolen car.”