Page 7 of Promise You Forever
I excused myself after checking on Gramps and finding him still asleep. The dreary sky is the perfect backdrop for my mood. I stupidly texted my dad to see if he knew about Grandpa, and the answer is as upsetting as it is unsurprising.
He’s known for almost two years.
Never once thought to say anything because he just assumed Grams had told me during our weekly calls. Heat burns my eyes as I try to fight off the tears of sadness and frustration. I don’t know how to feel, which shitty emotion to focus on over the plethora of other equally shitty ones.
I bite down on my lip hard enough to make it bleed in hopes of staving off the tears threatening to fall. Amber was studying in my room when I went downstairs, and she’s being so great about being here with me, I don’t want to drag her along with me just for selfish emotional comfort. And even if Brandon was available, he’s about as comforting as a marble statue.
Luckily Charlie chooses this exact moment to come crashing through the bushes with a stick. She drops it at my feet, her tail whipping excitedly behind her as she looks pointedly from me to the stick. I bend down and grab it, tossing it back down the trail from where we came. I should probably get back soon so I can check on Gramps and make sure Amber doesn’t need anything.
As Charlie and I emerge from the trees, I catch sight of Luke standing in the open door of the barn leading one of the yearlings. He walks it out into the pasture and pulls the halter off, giving the horse a tap on the flank to get it moving so he can close the gate.
I didn’t like walking into the kitchen and hearing him speaking kindly about me. I hate that he’s such a prominent fixture around here. The fact that I’m going to have to see him so much over the next few days makes me nauseous.
I didn’t really give myself time to get over what he did. There was no closure. I just went back to LA and tried my damnedest to forget him. That included basically throwing myself at Brandon. I ended up getting the guy I always thought I wanted. Lately, though, it feels wrong. I’ve thought about ending the relationship more than I’ve been happy in it.
Luke’s eyes find mine as soon as he turns around, but before he can start to approach me or even speak a word, I turn on my heel and walk away back toward the house. Limiting contact with him is my top priority after taking care of Gramps.
Raised voices carry across the backyard, so I hurry and jog up the deck stairs to get to the kitchen. Inside I see Amber, wide-eyed and holding a coffee mug, while Gramps demands to know who she is and where Grams is. Jasmine is speaking softly to him, her hand on his bicep as she directs him to a chair.
“Hi Grandpa,” I say with as much happiness as I can muster, which is obviously not much.
His eyes land on me, and his confusion mounts. My heart stops beating for a second as I worry he won’t recognize me, then restarts when he smiles and holds out a hand.
“Eli,” he says as he stands. “What are you doing here?” He holds open his arms, and I walk into them, dragging the scent of leather and peppermint into my nose. At least he still smells the same.
I glance over his shoulder to Jasmine who gives me what I interpret to be a nod encouraging honesty.
“I’m here for Grandma’s funeral.” I pull back and watch his face for a reaction. “And Amber is here with me as support. She’s my roommate back in LA.”
“How is school?” he asks. “Getting ready to go to college in the fall?”
How do I answer this? Should I be honest and risk upsetting him? Or am I supposed to just go along with his memory? I’m so out of my depth here. A surge of emotion bubbles up within me as I battle to remain calm. It’s not going to help anyone if I can’t keep myself in check.
I swallow down my feelings and decide honesty is the best route. “Grandpa, I graduated from college a little over a year ago. I’m working now.”
“Oh really?” He smiles at me. “That’s nice.”
“Paul?” Luke’s familiar voice fills the air as he walks into the kitchen. “Are you ready to come show me how to do the feed again?”
I turn and meet his gaze, trying to figure out what he’s going on about. Grandpa ambles out beside him telling him a list ofthings that I know for a fact Luke could do in his sleep. As the door closes behind them, I turn to Jasmine.
“It’s good for Paul to go out and do things he knows.” Smile lines crease her deep brown skin as her lips turn upwards. “Luke says he’s always happiest when he acts as if he needs help with daily tasks.”
“That makes it harder to hate him,” Amber mumbles beside me.
She’s not wrong, but I’m going to cling to my anger like a lifeline because I don’t know what else to do. Softening my heart toward Luke isn’t something that’s possible for me, regardless of how great he has been to my grandparents. Plus, who knows what he’s been up to in the past few years? I mean, I’m engaged, so who is to say he’s not seeing anyone?
I pull my phone out to send Brandon a message asking which day he’s flying out to be with me. Selfishly I hope he tells me he’s booked a flight out tonight. He’s not the most nurturing man, but it would be nice to feel the comfort of arms around me at night.
Book me a flight out Monday night and back on Wednesday
“Is he fucking serious?” Amber stands at my back, reading over my shoulder. “You’re grieving your grandma, and he wants you to play travel agent?”
“It’s not a big deal; he’s busy with showings today.”
“It’s bullshit. And he’s not coming out until Monday? What the fuck!”
“Amber.” Her name comes from my lips with a heavy sigh.