Page 41 of Craving Her
“How didn’t I know you curse like a sailor?” I respond with a smirk, wondering just how much I can poke her until she loses control.
“Because you never bothered to get to know me at all,” she responds.
I can hear the pain in her voice. Fun and games are off the table now. I can’t allow her to think she never mattered. It takes some maneuvering, but I get her in my lap. I put a hand on each side of her face and force her to look at me.
“I know you took your first step at ten months. I know your first word wasn’t mom or dad. It was Dragon—a fact your father still gets pissed off about. I know you’re a closet country music fan, which drives your brother and sister insane. You dig some lame ass Parker dude the most and buy all of his music even though you already get that shit for free on Apple Music.”
“Torin—”
“Just saying, Peaches, I won’t be listening to that shit with you.”
“I don’t understand,” she whispers. Her eyes are bright with unshed tears, but I don’t let go of her. I make sure she can’t turn away and that she’s forced to look at me.
“Your favorite color is burnt sienna, which woman, is just plain orange to me?—”
“It’s darker than just orange,” she whispers, her voice thick with emotion.
My heart squeezes in my chest as a tear falls from the corner of her eye. I lean in and kiss it. The salty wet drop coats my lips. I can’t stand to see her hurt. I never could. It used to eat me alive, knowing I caused her pain. Fuck, it still does. It will take me a lifetime to make it up to her, but I’m going to spend every day from here on out doing exactly that.
“I know you want four kids and a midcentury modern home.”
“How …”
“I’ve spent three years grieving the fact that I could never be the man to give you what you wanted. Three fucking long years, Peaches. Yes, you were young, but you were right. I would have stepped up after you turned nineteen. Hell, as bad as I wanted you, I probably would have caved at eighteen.”
“Then, why? I don’t understand any of this. Does this mean you really were afraid of my family? Or worse, you chose the club over me. That’s it, isn’t it, Torin? You didn’t want them to kick you out, so you chose being a member of the club over being with me.”
“Jesus, you think so highly of me, don’t you?”
“How else am I supposed to think? You act like an ass to me for three years. You come storming into Swank and again, treat me like a kid who has no feelings. Then, you see one guy flirt with me and figure out someone besides you might have a chance to share my bed, and decide to go all caveman?—”
“Skylar—”
“You follow me back inside the club and make me come right there in front of everyone and act as if that puts some kind of claim on me. It doesn’t, Torin. None of this does. I don’t know how to trust you. You say you’ve wanted me for three years. Well,youknewI’ve always wanted you. You would have to be stupid not to know that I’ve always been in love with you. Yet, that didn’t stop you from sticking your dick in any woman coming or going with tits that were more than a B-cup.”
“Skylar—” I repeat, but she doesn’t let me finish.
“You see, I’ve learned a lot about you over the years, too, Torin. For instance, I know you prefer big tits and curves over flat chests and skinny. I know you prefer your women to be waxed or shaved. No jungle bushes for the man-whore of the Savage Brothers MC.”
“What the fuck?—”
“I know your favorite position is from behind. You like to tag team on occasion with a buddy, but your favorite is being double teamed by two women. Sometimes, if you’re feeling extra confident, you’ll even take on three. You prefer blondes, but you’ll mix it up. You’re known to be very bossy in bed and if a woman doesn’t do what you like, you’ll spank them until they beg you for more.” I hold my head down and pinch the bridge of my nose. I can feel a headache forming at the base of my skull. This wasn’t how I saw tonight going. With a sigh, I push Skylar gently from my lap, then I stand up. “Sure, run away, Torin,” she yells.
I ignore the faces watching us since my woman has been laying into me rather loudly and the whole restaurant is staring. They’re not important to me, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to allow Skylar to keep this shit in her head and hurl it at me like poison ever again. Maybe I deserve some of it. Most likely, I do. Still, she doesn’t get to use it as a wall between us. I told her there was no going back, and I meant it. The past is the past, and it’s time I make that clear.
I push our dishes back on the table, ignoring the mess that creates. Next, I pick Skylar up and set her ass on the tabletop. “You sure you want to have this out here, Peaches?” I growl.
“Asshole,” she exhales, crossing her arms on her chest.
“I get you being pissed that I fucked around while you nursed a broken heart. I’m guilty of that, absolutely. I’ve owned up to it. What you don’t understand is that I was nursing the same fucking thing, Peaches. I ached for you, and I knew that there was no way I could have you. You were too damn young, baby. No matter how much you and I wanted it to be different, it was still true.”
“You could have waited for me,” she mutters, refusing to look at me.
I put my hand on her chin and pull her face up, needing eye contact with her. “Maybe I would have if I thought for one minute that there was a shot in hell for us. I didn’t, Skylar. I couldn’t see any way it would work out for us back then.”
“You didn’t try to find one, either.”
“You’re right. You are absolutely right. I didn’t because I’m not that man, baby.”