Page 62 of Craving Her
“Torin,” I murmur. I know most women probably would roll their eyes at what he’s saying, but I don’t. I know he’s being honest. I’d already decided that I didn’t care about the past, as long as I was his future.
“I’m a man who likes control, though, Skylar.”
“I’ve noticed,” I hum, pleasure filling me as I remember our last time together.
He grins at me, placing a chaste kiss against my lips. “I mean, I’m a Dom, baby. I want my woman—you—to always be submissive. Our first night together was beautiful, but I held back a huge part of who I am, so it didn’t scare you off. I didn’t want to lay everything out. You had let me see the pain I’dcaused you already. There was no way I could lay more stuff at your feet. I letyoutake control that night. I handled you with extreme tenderness because you deserved it and it’s what you needed. I had to fight my instincts of wanting to dominate you and make you completely submit.”
“You’ve always been kind of dominant with me, Torin. What are you talking about here exactly? Do you mean like whips and chains?Collars?” I squeak out the last question, because I know that’s not for me. I don’t think I could do that—even for Torin.
He laughs a little, shaking his head. “That can be part of the lifestyle, yes. We can decide what you like. I will want to tie you up in our bed—maybe not always, but sometimes. I wouldn’t feel comfortable using a whip, but you already love when I spank you. We’ll talk about your fantasies and what your hard limits are. I would like to experiment with floggers and some other things. But, baby, whatever we do together will be foryour pleasure. I will never cause you pain and we will always have a safe word. We will discuss what that is very soon.”
“This is a lot. I mean, I was expecting some of it. I’m not blind to how dominant you are. Still, I kind of need to wrap my head around it,” I explain.
He grimaces a little but doesn’t reply. He takes a breath and keeps explaining. “It may seem like I am the one in control of our relationship, Skylar, but that’s a mistake an outsider would make. Once we settle together completely, you’ll see. You are the one in control. You will always be the one to determine how far we go and when too much is just …too much. I never want you to do anything you don’t like just because you think I need it. Honest to God, woman, if all we have is what we did together last night? That’s more than enough for me. It’s more beautiful than anything I’ve ever experienced. You’re it for me. You’re ultimately the most important thing in the world to me.I wouldn’t even tell you all this if I didn’t think that you weren’t made for this, baby.”
“Torin, I’m kind of headstrong and independent. I’m not really the type to hand over control of my life to anyone,” I tell him, worried for the first time that we might not be able to make this work between us.
“This is where you misunderstand the lifestyle, Peaches. I don’t expect you to bow down to me. I like complete control in the bedroom, but there will be only parts of that which will filter into our everyday lives. I’m going to be possessive. I don’t want other men sniffing around you. Your safety will always be my biggest concern. I also enjoy having you close, like when we were at the restaurant and I fed you?”
“Yeah,” I answer, blushing.
“You liked that, didn’t you, baby?”
“Yes …”
“I want to see to your needs. I want to draw you a bath and wash your hair, shave or wax your legs and that beautiful pussy of yours?—”
“I usually go to a spa,” I explain.
“I’ll make sure you get that, too. Yet there will be times when I want it to be me who pampers you. I wasn’t kidding. Taking care of you is something I get pleasure from doing. It brings me peace. When you’re sick, I’ll be right there. Any time that you need anything, I am going to be there. Some women would hate that life. They’d probably complain it suffocates them. I happen to think that if you completely let go and trust me, you’ll love it.”
“What makes you so sure?” I ask, already acknowledging in my head that I probably will.
“Fair warning, I think if you tried to put a collar on me, I’d kill you,” I grumble. I’m surprised when it makes him laugh.
“Some women enjoy it, Peaches. I’ll never force you into anything. All I ask is you let me lead you. Together we will findexactly what works for both of us. My ultimate goal will always be your happiness. I may punish you when you do something that puts yourself in danger or disrespect what we have together, but I can promise you that you will always like the punishment. I would never hurt you or degrade you. That’s not who I am. My sole purpose in life is to make you happy and bring you pleasure. That’s it, honey. Other couples deep in the lifestyle enjoy other things and that’s good for them. You and I will find out what you like and who we are together. If you don’t like something, then you tell me. I’ll proceed to find something else that brings us both pleasure. It’s that simple.”
“And the clubs?”
“I’ll take you to one and you can make up your mind. There are private rooms where it will be just the two of us. There are also rooms with two-way glass, where we can watch other couples together, or they can watch us—depending on your choice. You can choose the extent we play, but there will only ever be the two of us touching each other. No one gets that privilege but me when it comes to your body, Skylar.”
“And no one else touches you,” I add possessively.
“Exactly,” he agrees at once.
“Do you truly think our first night together was a mistake?”
“Fuck no. Making love to you could never be a mistake. I loved every second. I just should have made it clear to you what I wanted for us before I claimed you. I should have given you a choice. You don’t get that now, because honestly, baby, I can’t give you up. I made the mistake of not talking to you about the controlling asshole I am. That is theonlything I needed to correct about that night. I know my lifestyle can be hard to accept. It’s also just another in a long list of reasons I stayed away from you for three years.”
“I’m scared that I won’t be able to make you truly happy, Torin. Everyone knows you like multiple partners at a time.”
“That was getting off, Skylar. That wasn’t what I needed. Don’t judge me based on my past. You make me happy.”
I’d be lying if I didn’t say I wasn’t still nervous about being enough for him, but I know that no matter what, Torin wouldn’t lie to me. I lean up and kiss him softly on the lips. “I’ll find a way to be with you tonight. We’ll get Diego’s funeral over and then figure out a time to talk to my parents.”
“You’re going to be in my bed every night from here on out, Skylar. You belong to me, just like I belong to you. We’re a part of one another.”
“Okay, Tor,” I answer, shortening his name the way he loves when we’re intimate. I smile as he groans. I’m instantly rewarded with his kiss.