Page 75 of Filthy Savage
Freedom.
I feel it on the back of this bike, the air washing over me as Evan moves the machine effortlessly along the curvy piney woods streets. Then I remember the fact that Humble isn’t free. He’s locked in a cell. I hate that for him. Guilt consumes me at the thought.
When the bike pulls up to the clubhouse, Evan kills the engine, then kicks the stand down, and we climb off. I stand to the side of the bike, my eyes focused on the door to the clubhouse.
I turn to face Evan, my brows snapping together as I watch him for a moment. “Did she come here, too?” I ask.
“She?”
“Jasmine.”
It’s hard for me to say the word, her name. I hate the way it makes me feel just thinking about it, let alone saying it. Evan clears his throat, then he lifts his hand and runs his fingers through his hair.
“I don’t want to talk about her. That is the past, and the more you focus on it, the harder it will be to move forward. You’ve got to let that shit go. She rattled you, I get it, but she probably heard you were there from someone in town. Without a doubt, she did that shit on purpose.”
She did do it on purpose. That woman was dressed to maim and kill, and that’s exactly what she did. I was her target, and boy, did she give me her all. And it rattled me wholly and fully.
I take his lack of answer as his answer. She was here and probably partied here a lot. “Am I going to see her here?” I know the answer without even asking the question. I know I’m being difficult right now, but I can’t help myself.
I’m still angry.
Still hurt.
“That shit doesn’t matter. You’re an old lady. You’re mine. That should be everything.”
And it is. It’s everything I ever wanted in my entire life. And yet, it doesn’t feel like quite enough. I don’t just want to be an old lady. I don’t just want to be his. I want him to be mine, too, but mostly, I want what the other girls have.
I want love.
I want to be cherished.
I want marriage, babies, and a white picket fence. I want it all, even if it’s asking too much. It’s still what I want. Love, a house, a true marriage, and babies. I want to grow old with this man.
“It’s not,” I blurt out.
His eyes widen, and he takes one step toward me, then another. Before I realize what’s happening, he is all around me. I can smell him, feel him, and almost taste him. There is nowhere for me to go.
He is all around me, surrounding me. He picks me up and carries me somewhere. I have no clue where we’re going, and I don’t care, either.
My back slams against something hard. It scratches me and no doubt balls up my shirt in an instant. His mouth is so close to mine that my breath hitches. His tongue slides inside of my mouth before he tastes me. It’s all-consuming, his tongue swirling around me, tasting all of me.
His hands grip my waist as he holds me against the wall. I want to lift my legs and wrap them around him, but I can’t. I’m pinned to the wall. He lifts his head, breaking the kiss as his gaze searches mine.
“Being mine isn’t everything?” he asks, although instead of anger lacing his voice, he sounds more filled with humor. “Do I need to show you again what it means to be mine?” he asks, pressing his hips against my belly.
I can feel his length, hard and pushing against the zipper of his jeans. My entire body breaks out in a light sweat. Desire fills me. Pressing my thighs together, I try to keep the ache of need away, but I fail.
“I want more,” I whisper, my voice coming out breathy and almost foreign-sounding even to my own ears. “I want love.”
“You want me to tell you that I love you?” Evan asks with a growl.
Shaking my head once, I clear my throat. “No,” I breathe. “I want you to actually love me. I want to get married. I want to be your wife and have your babies. I want you to be desperately in love with me. I want everything that could ever be offered.”
“Then that’s what you’ll get, my beautiful.”
His words come out in a whisper. My breath doesn’t even hitch because I have no breath left in my body. He’s stolen it from me with his words. He doesn’t skip a beat. His mouth slams against mine, and he takes from me.
Takes. Me.