Page 104 of Threaded
“That continued for … well, until the day I received the Queen’s summons. I patiently let Mother pack me a trunk with all the gaudy, ridiculous dresses she could squeeze in, gave her a hug, and then left the house that will always haunt my nightmares and never looked back.”
There was a dead silence in the room. Mariah’s breathing was ragged as tears streamed down her face. A glance at Delaynie revealed the same. Ciana, still stoic and stony, had only cracked slightly, just a few fat, full tears tracking down her bronze cheeks. Ciana set her wine glass—again empty—on the counter, filled it up once more, wiped those few lingering tears from existence, and then turned to fully face Mariah, her expression devolving from stone to fire.
“When I saw you in that courtyard, I saw a woman who had everything that I never had. You were free, confident, powerful in your femininity. Sure, I know I hide behind a convincing mask, but that’s all it is … a mask. Inside, I’m just a heaping lump of scar tissue, just like so many other women in this country without magic to protect them. Because at the end of the day, even if the priestesshood is nothing more than a prison, at least it gets girls like meout.
“But you, Mariah … you’re about to be thequeen. Not just a priestess, not a wanderer, but a monarch. Someone with the power of a fuckinggoddessin her veins and who’s about to sit upon the most powerful seat on the continent. Who cares if Ryenne gave away most of her power?Take it back. It’s yours. And with it, you could have a real chance to offer to other Onitan women the same gift that you offered to me.” She paused, the tears real and uninhibited as they poured down her face. This time, though, they were not tears of pain.
They were tears of silenced anger and undiluted rage.
“You can change everything about what this kingdom has become. Show Onitan women that they can be—that theyare—more than just property or priestesses. That we havepower. We don’t worship a goddess because she’s weak, and I think it’s time this kingdom remembers that.”
Mariah forced back her sobs as she stood from her stool, moving to stand beside her friend. She held Ciana’s gaze for a moment longer, the faces of both women streaked with tears, before she opened her arms and pulled Ciana close, squeezing her beautiful friend tightly to her with all the force and pain and love and heartache she could muster.
“I am … so, so sorry. I know that doesn’t fix it—that nothing will ever heal those wounds—but—”
“I don’t want your sympathy.” Ciana pulled back from Mariah’s grip. “That’s not why I shared this. Plus, you’re the one who saved me, remember?”
Mariah choked out a sobbing laugh. “Yeah, but … I didn’t know I was saving you. Not until now.”
“It doesn’t matter that you didn’t know. What matters is that you did.” Ciana’s eyes darted past Mariah, and then she was grabbing Delaynie’s hand, pulling her in close to stand beside Mariah. The three women stood there for a moment, letting themselves process and feel and justbe, as friends, as sisters who’d chosen and found each other.
And as Mariah’s emotions began to settle, her mind began to swirl, to run through everything that had happened that night, that week, all the way back to when she’d arrived at the palace.
“You can change everything about what this kingdom has become.”
“We don’t worship a goddess because she is weak.”
There was one very important, very public event fast approaching that served as a display of the Goddess’s magic. And Mariah knew, because Ryenne had told her as much, that the ceremony and the magic it produced had been weakening for centuries. Maybe that was due to Ryenne’s trade, or maybe it was due to the subliminal oppression which had been slowly taking place throughout the kingdom and unchecked for generations. Or, maybe it was a combination of both or something else entirely. But what Mariahdidknow was that if Ciana was right, if she now truly had the power to change this kingdom for the better, then that ceremony seemed like it would be the perfect place to start making some changes.
“I hear you, Ciana. I’ll stay—if not for me, then for you, and for every other woman in this kingdom who is trapped and suffering.” Mariah inhaled deeply, then looked both her friends in the eye as she let a slow, wicked smile spread across her lips.
“I was also just thinking. What better place to start a revolution—to remind the world of what the Goddess and the women of this land are capable of—then at the Winter Solstice?”
Ciana and Delaynie blinked at Mariah as they both processed her words. Finally, the answering grin that lit up Ciana’s brilliant face could only be described as feral.
“M, if you’re suggesting that we bring a little depravity to the palace, then I’m totally on board.”
CHAPTER46
Andrian lay awake in his bed as he stared blankly at the ceiling above, his father’s words weaving a tapestry of hate through his thoughts.
He hadn’t slept for more than a few minutes, his mind flickering between the feeling of Mariah in his arms, a look of pure, unadulterated happiness on her face as they’d danced through the ballroom, and the rage in his father’s eyes as he’d issued the threat that had haunted Andrian for over twenty-one years. His feelings had always been a convoluted mess hidden behind a facade of ice, but now that crystalized front was failing him, and he was reeling.
Hehadto talk to Mariah. As the hours of darkness dwindled away and the early dawn rays filtered through his window, that was all he could focus on.
Andrian decided she had to know. Had to be aware of the danger she was in, the threat he’d brought to her simply because he hadn’t been strong enough to resist her and couldn’t seem to stay the fuck away.
Everything had gotten so fucking complicated, but he was tired of keeping this secret from her. She’d proven herself to be smart and strong and capable. She could handle this, and she would help him, and they would figure out a solution that saved both their asses.
Together.
What a foreign word. Andrian had never allowed himself to even contemplate the possibility of an “us” that actually included him. But with his clear declaration of loyalty to Mariah at thePorofirat, followed shortly by his father’s hateful words, he had no other choice but to run to her.
From the second she’d stepped out of that carriage, a part of him had known she would be both his damnation … and his salvation.
And if yesterday had made one thing glaringly, painfully obvious to him, it was that he no longer hated Mariah Salis.
If he was honest with himself, he knew he’d never truly hated her. The anger he’d directed towards her was always just the loathing he felt for himself. He was weak; that much he knew. But he also recognized his flaws were not her fault.