Page 108 of Scourged
But now that he was the one giving them? His stomach twisted into knots.
He’d failed his biggest test as an Armature. And even though Mariah was back, he still wasn’t sure he could forgive himself.
“I’m happy for you, brother.” Sebastian dropped his gaze to Matheo. “I’m happy you have someone you feel normal with.” Matheo’s lips twitched. “Are you interested in her being maybe more than just your friend?”
Sebastian’s heart plummeted from his chest to rest beside his bracers in the grass.
Of course, he’d thought about it. From the moment she’d stepped foot through the palace gates, Ciana had been a ray of sunshine—warm and vibrant and full of life. It was impossible not to feel drawn to her, even when she stood beside the planetary force that was their queen.
But …
“She wouldn’t want that. Not from me. Nor am I interested in her in that way, either.” He tacked on his last sentence hastily.
He loved his brother, but Matheo was the biggest gossip of them all. And the last thing Sebastian would ever want was word of this conversation to reach Ciana.
Because beneath all that sunshine dwelled monsters darker than the shadows of Enfara. He couldn’t put that sort of pressure on her, not like that. Her words from the bar flashed back through his mind. How the way he’d controlled her had reminded her of her nightmares. He refused to ever again be compared to those evil men from her past.
Despite his words, Matheo still grinned at him conspiratorially. “Alright then, brother. Whatever you say.” He slid his arrow into his quiver. “Is there anything else? Didn’t I hear you had an odd confrontation with a crazy man down in the city on the night theallumewent out?”
Sebastian really needed his brother to stop asking questions he didn’t want to answer.
“Oh … yeah.” He shrugged, doing his best to feign nonchalance. “Like you said—he was crazy. Yelling nonsense about the sun. It was gibberish.”
Thankfully, Matheo didn’t push it. He merely answered with a shrug of his own. “Bizarre. Wish I had been there.” Picking up his arrow and quiver, he nodded to Sebastian. “Alright—that was enough. I’ll let you off laundry duty this time. But get your shit together, brother! We can’t have a Riqueti man wandering through Onita unable to hit a simple target on a tree. What an embarrassment.”
As they laughed together, walking back through the game park to the palace, Sebastian couldn’t stop thinking.
Not only about Ciana but the words that man had said to him.
“The moons are setting, and the sun will rise.”
He’d told himself he would share it with Mariah, but he hadn’t. He hadn’t shared the truth with anyone.
And he still wasn’t quite sure why.
“Alright, brother. It’s your turn.”
Matheo turned to Sebastian, brows lifted. “My turn? Forwhat?”
Sebastian grinned, stepping over a branch on the forest path as he adjusted his bow across his back. “I shared a bit about Ciana. Now it’s your turn. Is there anyone who happens to be on your mind?”
“Youshared? You hardly gave me anything!” Matheo scowled, even as blood slowly filled his cheeks.
Sebastian’s smile widened.
“Oh, c’mon, Matheo.” He bumped his brother with his shoulder, earning him another glare. “There has to be someone.”
Matheo shrugged. “Honestly … no, not really. But I’m okay with that. I like my life of training and fighting and guarding. I don’t really want any complications.”
Complications. Sebastian’s smile faltered. He’d never once viewed Ciana—or Mariah, for that matter—as a complication, but in a way, he supposed it was true.
Before their court, life had been simpler. More monotonous and repetitive, but predictable. But for Matheo to prefer that life?
“I always thought you craved a bit of adventure. You were always the one inventing wild stories of heroics while I refused to leave the libraries.”
Matheo smiled sadly. “Did you ever pay attention to the roles I gave myself in those campaigns?”
Sebastian hesitated, sifting through his memories. But for some reason, he came up short.