Page 131 of Scourged
It was only when they collapsed—her back onto the bed, him into that chair—that their stare finally broke. Magic, light and shadow, curled and drifted around them, much like it had that first night, so many months ago.
But this time, they were six feet apart. A gap that suddenly felt too far, too detached.
The distance tugged a low, foreign ache in Mariah’s soul. An urge to sit up. To stand from the bed.
To close the space.
But just as she was about to move … something stopped her. Something she was coming to hate, something she wasbecoming more determined to stamp out from her life, once and for all.
Fear. It was a low, slimy whisper of fear wrapping around her heart that had her staying still. That kept the distance where it was, even though everything in her body and mind and soul called to close it.
She sat all the way up, dropping her gaze to her lap and her hands. The boiling tension from their bond was extinguished, but a new sort of frustration rose in its place.
Frustration at herself. At this terror. At these feelings that were so unlike her, were so foreign to everything she was.
The chair in front of her creaked.
“Mariah?” His voice was different now, too. Softer, lighter. More cautious, unsure if he had crossed some sort of line.
She hated that she made him feel that way. He’d been a prisoner, just as much as she. And she only continued to treat him as such, even after being freed.
Mariah lifted her head. Met his gaze. And gave him a sad smile. He answered with his own, so much hesitation on his beautiful face.
“Are you … are you okay?”
She nodded. “Yes. I’m fine. Better than fine.” She looked down at her discarded clothes. “But I think I better get back to my own rooms, now.”
Andrian nodded, running a hand through his hair. Gods, he really needed a haircut. The thought gave her a streak of amusement, which was quickly washed away by muted sadness.
She wanted to stay. More than she’d ever wanted to do anything.
But she needed to conquer this fear first.
“Let me walk you back.”
“No,” she said quickly, standing from the bed. His nostrils flared, throat bobbing, as she realized she was still starkly naked.She scrambled for her tunic, slipping it over her head before fumbling with her underwear. “That’s okay. I can make it back on my own. Besides,” she said, tugging her lips into a forced grin. “I came armed, remember?”
He hesitated, instincts obviously warring inside him, before dipping his head.
It pulled her heart. Shredded it. To see him so muted, so unsure around her. Despite the confidence he’d exuded moments ago, this was the man she’d created.
Perhaps they were each now creatures of the other’s creation, even if they hadn’t known it.
A headache pounded behind her skull. Her body begged for her bed, for sleep. To fall into unconsciousness and figure all this out another day.
“Yes,” he murmured. “You did.”
She brushed past him, swiping her dagger from where she’d discarded it on the countertop by the door. Just before she grabbed the door handle, she turned on her heel, finding him watching her with so many questions and not enough answers in his face.
“Andrian?” she whispered, her voice hoarse. She loved the way his name felt in her mouth. The way it rolled off her tongue, as if it had always belonged there.
He brightened, just slightly. “Yes, Mariah?”
Her chest squeezed. “Tomorrow, you can move back into your rooms. But don’t forget; I sleep with this dagger under my pillow.”
The answering smile he gave her was blinding.
“Oh, princess. I wouldn’t dare forget.”