Page 82 of Scourged
She wanted a shower. Desperately.
Mariah took the stairs that would take her to her rooms one at a time, muscles protesting every step. Reaching the landing, she meandered down the white and gold marble hall. Her fingers grazed the gilded walls as she basked in the daylight streaming in through the windows. Something in her soul continued to lift as she walked, stretching before her, pulling her along into brighter days.
She rounded the final corner to find a man wearing clothes as black as his hair, tanzanite eyes widening with surprise.
The bond between them crackled and sparked in the air, an invisible pulse of energy. It was like that day so long ago, before the Choosing, when the world had shrunk to encompass just them. Only this time, with their souls now bridged, it was so much stronger, a powerful vibrancy that nearly buckled her already-shaking legs.
One day apart, and her soul was crying out for him.Beggingfor him.
But her mind and body still recoiled from that thought, and despite the pull between them, she felt herself freezing, rooting to the ground. Unable to take another step closer.
The slam of the box he’d been carrying hitting the floor echoed through the hallway.
“Mariah.” His voice was a low, strangled sound that sunk into her blood and settled into her bones. A knife through herstomach. He took a staggering step toward her, closing the distance.
And though her soul screamed to move closer, her body took a step back.
He stopped. Pain twisted his face.
“Please,” he said. He sounded so much like he had that day before the Solstice, when he’d confessed to her everything she hadn’t known she’d been desperate to hear.
Those words were too perfect. Had they even come from him?
The scars on her back tingled.
“I can’t,” she forced out through her teeth, entire body vibrating with emotions that warred and clashed.
“You can’twhat?” he pleaded. This time, there was a flash of anger in his blue gaze. He took another step forward, shrinking the space between them, and she stayed rooted to the spot. Rooted by a feeling.
Fear.
He didn’t stop until he was within arms-length. His chest rose and fell with heavy breaths, and something desperate and wild danced in his eyes. His shoulders were wreathed in tendrils of shadows, another sign that he was frustrated and confused and angry.
“Why are you avoiding me? No one can give me a straight answer. You are theonlyone who knows what happened back there in that Enfara-damned place. Yet you won’t share it with anyone. I told you—I was just as much a prisoner there as you were, and I think you know that.”
“I do know that,” she whispered, surprising herself with her interruption.
He leaned back as if he’d been slapped, some of the rage fading from his eyes. His shadows softened, drifting closer to his body.
“I know that you were a prisoner there. I saw it …you… many times.” The words burned as she forced those memories from her mind. She was not prepared to relive that—not now, not here.
“But … Andrian, don’t make me do this.”
“Dowhat?” His words leaked of desperation. “Tell me why you can barely look me in the eye? Why you flinch every time you hear my voice?” His voice cracked, and he paused.
“Mariah, I don’t care what happened. I am yours, and Ilove?—”
“Don’t say it. Saythat. Please.” Tears burned in her eyes.
Andrian blinked again in shock. “Just … give me a chance again. Please. Let me prove to you that no matter what happened, this is still me.”
Tears fell, spilling down her cheeks. “I can’t do that.”
“Can’t, or won’t?”
“Does it matter?” A sob clogged her throat. “I’m not the girl I was on the Solstice. Too much has happened, too much has changed.I’vechanged, so many times that I don’t even know who I am anymore. And you …” She couldn’t complete that sentence. Couldn’t even complete the thought.
“And I … what? Tell me, Mariah. Let me be there for you. Let mehelpyou.”