Page 42 of Ruthless Touch

I shake my head and frown. This day has gone from bad to worse. “No. Don’t listen to my brother. He’s wrong about nearly everything.”

“You know what? I don’t think he is. I think even worse than being an afterthought is being a replacement for someone. You can go to hell, Gideon. Take your huge gestures and your penthouse and everything else and go to hell!”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Aria

I hurry away before I start crying because I don’t want him to see the thought of not mattering to him bothers me so much. It shouldn’t. It’s not like Gideon Rule ever promised me a happily ever after. He merely promised to protect me, and so far, he’s lived up to that.

Everything else between us has been miles short of romantic. So we have sex. So it’s great. That doesn’t mean I matter, and I need to get that through my thick head.

I guess I just thought by the way he reacted when he saw his brother bothering me that he may have cared a little. Stupid Aria. He’s a bad man who may be kind sometimes. I shouldn’t confuse his willingness not to be a total villain with love.

He pads up behind me hiding in the bedroom and in a low voice says, “Aria, you aren’t a substitute for someone else. Don’t think that.”

“But I do, and nothing you’ve said so far has convinced me I’m not.”

“Turn around and look at me. I’ll tell you anything you want to know about her. Then you’ll see you have nothing to do with anything that happened with anyone in my past.”

I do as he commands like I always do and see he looks sincere. Now I guess I’ll find out when I ask him about her. If he avoids any of my questions, I’ll know.

Not that it matters. I really need to remember that. Whatever we’re doing here with him keeping me in this penthouse and us sleeping together isn’t a relationship and it certainly isn’t anything resembling love.

“Was what your brother said true?”

Gideon winces at the mention of Alex. “So little of what he says is true, Aria. Trust me on that. Don’t believe him.”

“Then make me believe you. Were you in love with this Gia woman?”

He doesn’t hesitate to answer, surprising me. “Yes. I was crazy about her.”

“Was it a love for the ages like he said?”

That gets me an eye roll and a smile. “My brother would have only said that to make fun of how we felt about each other. I don’t know if it was a love for the ages, but we loved each other, and I would have done anything for her.”

I was afraid how I’d feel hearing Gideon truly cared about someone, but listening to him now, I can’t help but be relieved. At least he’s capable to love. That’s more than I thought about him until this morning.

“What happened between you? Sasha said she died.”

He nods and lets out a heavy sigh. “She did. Her husband found out she was in love with me, so he killed her before I could get her away from him.”

The sadness that fills his eyes as he says that makes my chest hurt. Gideon loved someone else’s wife and blames himself for her death.

“Is that why you paid Franco so I would come with you?”

This time my answer is a simple nod of his head. No words. Just another sigh and a nod.

“Why? You and I didn’t even know one another. We’d only spoken once at that party. It was because I looked like her, wasn’t it?”

“No,” he answers, shaking his head wildly. “That wasn’t it at all.”

God, I feel like I’m getting nowhere with this!

“Then what was it?” I ask, my voice verging on screaming. “Why would you care at all what happened to me? You barely knew me!”

All of a sudden, it’s as something snaps in Gideon, and he becomes a different person right in front of my eyes. He storms over to me and takes my face in his hands before he kisses me hard, taking my breath away.

“I don’t know why I cared for you after only meeting you, but I did. I tried to pretend like it didn’t matter. I told my cousin it meant nothing, and I only defended you with Franco because it was the right thing to do, but I do the wrong thing more often than not, so that was a lie. I fought him and I hit my brother because the very idea of someone hurting you makes my chest feel like someone’s fucking carving a dull knife into the center of it.”