Page 65 of Ruthless Touch
Beside me, Sasha buzzes around like a busy bee trying to make sure I’m comfortable in Gideon’s bed. I want to tell her to go away, but I can’t bring myself to say the words because it feels nice to have someone care that I’m hurting.
Even if it is the person who Gideon cares about the most in the world.
For his part, the man himself seems disinterested in how I feel. He hasn’t come over to talk to me since we got back here, and he hasn’t moved from his position near the door since Raphael set me down on the bed.
“I’ve got a warm washcloth,” Sasha says with a smile as she sits down next to me. “I promise I won’t press too hard, but I need to clean off the blood near your ear, okay?”
She stares down at me like I’m some broken bird she’s decided to nurse back to health. If I could raise my arm, I’d push her away. Since I can’t, I shake my head, but even that hurts.
“I don’t want your help.”
“Well, you need it, so sit still while I clean you up.”
I try to roll over unsuccessfully, making me cry out in pain. Sasha quickly pulls away, but Gideon still does nothing to come closer or see if I’m okay.
“We should get her something to ease the pain. I have some pills in my desk downstairs. I’ll be right back.”
Sasha hurries away, leaving me alone with Gideon. He continues to remain silent, and as much as I want to ask him why he won’t even speak to me, I don’t have the strength. I just don’t understand why he doesn’t care enough to at least check if I’m okay.
After a minute alone with him, I cover my face with my hands and say, “I’m sure you have somewhere else you’d rather be. Feel free to go there and leave me alone.”
For the first time since Raphael brought me into the lobby, Gideon speaks to me. “There’s nowhere else I need to be or want to be.”
I move my hands away from my face and look across the room at him still standing near the doorway. “Then why are you all the way over there? Do you know how that makes me feel? Is it because I’m all beaten up? Is that what’s making you stay away?”
He can’t even look at me when he answers, “I doubt I’d be of much help. Better to let Sasha clean you up.”
When he says that, I can’t control my emotions. Always Sasha. Sasha wants something, so Gideon has to give it to her so she’s happy. Always her and never me.
“I don’t want her to help me, but since you don’t care, I guess I have no choice,” I say, fighting a sob that forces its way out.
His indifference crushes me. After all I went through with Franco and Marcello today and how I never betrayed Gideon, even when they threatened to kill me, the way he can simply ignore my pain and stand all the way over there hurts more than any fist slamming into my face.
“Just leave me alone,” I say as the tears come and I don’t try to stop them. “I should have told them what they wanted to know. I hate you, Gideon.”
He doesn’t leave, and when Sasha returns with a glass of water and whatever she found to help me deal with the pain from the beating I took, Gideon watches intently, almost as if he finds someone helping me a curiosity. His eyes never leave me, even if he can’t be bothered to comfort me in the least.
“Take care of her. I have things that need to be handled,” he says without a hint of emotion in his voice before walking away.
Sasha puts the glass of water in front of my face, but I push it away, splashing it all over me and her. “I don’t want you. I want him. After all I dealt with, the least he could do is make sure I’m okay.”
Her usual iciness comes through loud and clear when she glares at me and says, “Well, I’m as close as you’re going to get. Now take these pills and drink this water.”
As close as I’m going to get. Isn’t that the truth?
I do as she orders, although I resent every second of it, before I ease back onto the pillows she’s stacked up behind me. Sasha isn’t exactly a kind nursemaid, but she is a caring one. I have to give her that.
Closing my eyes, I let the pillows envelop me while I wait for the pills to take effect. If I’m lucky, they’ll knock me out so I can sleep and hopefully forget this entire day.
The mattress moves, and I look to see Sasha getting into bed with me. Lying next to me, she gives me a smile I think she intends to be sweet and says, “I’ll be here in case you need anything. Just let yourself rest so you can start healing.”
We lie there in silence for a long time as I patiently wait for these pills to do something, and my mind fills with all the questions I’ve wanted to ask about her and Gideon. When it becomes clear whatever she gave me doesn’t seem to be working, I look over at her and finally say what’s been on my mind.
“Are you in love with him?” I ask into the silence surrounding us and carefully watch her expression as she considers my question.
“I adore him. There’s a difference.”
So typical of her to answer but say nothing.