Page 18 of Dawn of Hope
I made it. I am outside of the castle walls. I have been dreaming about this moment since I was a little girl.
I take a step forward, feeling the unevenness of the cobblestones beneath my feet. The gate clangs closed behind me, and I start walking down the road when reality hits me.
No one knows where I am, or who I am.
I am essentially invisible.
Out here, I can be anyone I want to be. I can put aside the pressures of being the princess, the future queen, the one who makes decisions that affect every person in this city, in the kingdom.
I can just be…me.
I walk with a purpose, still trying to avoid the attention of the guards. I don’t need to give them any reason to question me. Civilians pass by me, walking down the road, bundled up against the cold. I try hard not to make eye contact and focus on my goal.
I know the layout of the city well, despite never having stepped foot into it. Edmond ensured I had a good grasp on geography, not only of the principal city, but the entire kingdom of Blackwood and beyond. The businesses may have changed over the years, but I still know the roads well.
I turn down the next road and head toward the square. The closer I get, the more crowded it becomes. People carry loaves of bread or other items for tonight’s meal as children run and chase each other. Horses are tied at watering troughs and chatter and laughter flowing through the air.
Town feels so…alive.
Blackwood has always been cold and gloomy. We rarely ever have sunlight, and if we do, it merely lightens the perpetual grey cloud cover and mist that rolls through our mountains and forests. It has always felt cold and dull to me. Lifeless.
Not now.
I slow my steps, raising my head slightly to get a better glimpse of the people, to seemykingdom. My lips curve into a small smile as I take everything in, but drops away quickly as a wave of anger comes over me.
My father has been keeping all of this from me. He isn’t letting me experience our people or get to know our kingdom like he did for so many years. He walked the roads, made friends, met my mother. The kingdom knew him. He heard their concerns as their prince, and even more as their young king. He wasn’t just a future king in name only, like I am.
Yet, he refuses to let them know me.
I hold my head a little higher, letting the hood fall back slightly, caring less if someone sees my face. He can’t take this away from me. I’m already out of my cage. I won’t let the feeling deep inside me that I’m breaking the rules or doing something wrong take away this experience. If he finds out and punishes me, so be it.
No one even glances my way, my disguise as castle staff helping me fit in perfectly among the people. I cross the square and head toward the library. The grey sky is still light over the tops of the black trees scattered throughout the city, but I know it will start darkening soon. I need to hurry so I don’t have to walk back to the castle too late in the night, but I have a mission to accomplish. I will not quit before I find at least something that might help her.
CHAPTER SEVEN
The entry hall of the library dims once I shut the door behind me. The smell of old books with a hint of dust surrounds me, and immediately I feel relief, like I’m home, back in the castle in my favorite room.
An older woman sits at a dark wooden desk, writing in a large book on the desk in front of her. I hesitate. She is the first person I will ever have spoken to outside the castle. Despite knowing that my father kept any and all information about me secret, I still feel uneasy, like the moment I speak, my identity will be discovered, and they will send me straight back to the castle for the wrath of the king. I’m not ready to go back. Not yet.
I take a deep breath and school my face like I have done this a million times before, like I belong there.
“Excuse me,” I say quietly, breaking the silence of the library.
The woman glances up at me. “Yes? How may I help you?”
“Could you please point me toward the healing or medicinal section?”
She nods and gestures to one side. “Yes, it is down this aisle, and to the left. There are a few shelves. Please let us know if you need any more assistance.”
“Thank you,” I say with a nod. “That should be fine.” I almost let out a breath of relief as I turn toward the aisle, but I stop short at her next words.
“Is this for the king?”
There is no way she could have recognized me already. All the possibilities of how my father will react to me being escorted back to the castle start cycling through my mind. I won’t let him deter me. I will hold my ground and defend my choices and reiterate how important this is.
“I did not get any word that the castle needed assistance, or I would have prepared for him,” she says, glancing at the uniform I forgot I was wearing.
Relief floods my body, and my shoulders relax. The uniform. She must have known right away that I came from the castle. I wasn’t expecting someone to call attention to it so quickly.