Page 77 of Dawn of Hope

“Do you trust me?” he grumbles softly.

I don’t say a word. I can’t move. I am frozen in his arms.

He leans down painfully slowly, daring me to pull away. His lips brush mine, barely even a touch. His eyes meet mine, as if asking permission.

I don’t move. I know I just told him that this can’t happen, but despite my words, I want it to. He knows I do.

He leans in again, lips firm and sure, and a fire ignites in my body. I sigh, and fist his shirt, leaning into him. His grip tightens on my waist and neck, the heat from his hands only fueling the fire as he draws me in.

I have never kissed anyone before. I’d never had the chance. There was no stark rule in Blackwood that the royal line could not have relationships, but my father’s authoritarian hand ensured that even though it wasn’t legally forbidden, it was for me.

That didn’t mean I was clueless as to what went on between lovers. There were plenty of times I’d stumbled across guards and maids tucked away together in the dark corners of the castle. I’d seen Addy steal a few kisses with one of the stablemen and read plenty of Tila’s not so innocent books.

Knowing and experiencing are not the same.

A whirlwind of emotions tears through me as I sink into him. Hope, longing, fear, desire. Where one starts and the next begins is inconceivable.

He tilts my head to the side, changing the angle to deepen the kiss. His lips part mine, and I respond, opening them and inviting him in. I almost gasp as his tongue brushes against mine and meet his long strokes.

I want him. I want to have a future with someone I chose, and it is clear he wants me too.

A small voice murmurs in the recesses of my mind.

I can’t have him. Not really.

I break away and flatten my clenched fists on his chest to push him back to arm’s length. His eyes are glassed over with desire, the look of them fueling that fire inside me that I had felt only moments ago.

“Dane—”

“Shh.” He cuts me off with a thumb, stroking my lower lip. “I know you are worried about this, and I know you say you can’t trust me. I know you want to get back home. All I ask is that you consider giving me a chance, even if it only lasts while you are here.”

His hopeful eyes dart between mine, waiting for an answer. His request isn’t unreasonable, but I still feel uncertain. Could I get involved with him, knowing that it will not last, that it has an end date? Would I subconsciously try to extend our time by not picking up on signsand clues to where the cure is hidden, only so I could stay longer? Could I let myself feel everything I had longed for but never thought I would have?

I don’t want to get hurt, and leaving Dawnlin, leaving him, after having all of this, could break me.

His hands stroke my arms, sending reassuring tingles through my body. “I don’t ever want to distract you. I know that is your biggest concern. I know you are worried about leaving. But let’s live in the here and now. You’re here, now. We can be whatever you want to be.”

He slides his hands down and entwines his fingers with mine. “I have to be honest with you, Lennox,” he continues, rubbing his thumb across the back of my hands. His eyes break contact, and he rolls his lip between his teeth. The strong, confident Dane I have been getting to know actually seems unsure of himself for once. “I feel very drawn to you. I knew it the second I saw you in Blackwood. If it wasn’t for who I am, and you had nothing to return to, I would want this. Us. I hope you feel the same.”

I don’t answer. I don’t know what to say. He isn’t wrong. The moment I bumped into him, I felt a spark. I attributed it to being the first time I spoke to a man outside of the castle, but I feel like it might be more than that.

Neither of us has the freedoms others have. The Guardian isn’t free to live a life he chooses, and I can see that pain hovering beneath his tough surface.

We have this in common, this duty and commitment to something bigger. Maybe because of that deep understanding, the here and now could be possible. Maybe Dane is right, and we can be together, knowing it will come to an end.

“Alright,” I whisper.

His eyes snap to mine, and the look of joy on his face makes me want to lean in and kiss him again.

“Really?”

I nod with a small smile. “Promise me you won’t interfere with my search. You know I have to leave, eventually. Please don’t make it harder for me.”

He nods firmly. “I understand, and I promise not to interfere with your searching time.”

“Thank you.”

His face lights up again, before wrapping his arm around my shoulders and turning us back the way we came. “Let’s get back. I don’t want to use up any of your time. Who are you with today?”