Page 25 of Never Forever

Sometimes when she got busy or I got busy we wouldn’t text for days.

Then, I don’t know why, maybe just to be mean, or because I wondered if she would even care, I let her know about Stacey.

Me: Stacey Brown asked me to the Formal.

Carrie: Isn’t she a junior?

Me: Yeah.

Carrie: You going?

Me: Sure. Why not?

Carrie: No reason. I didn’t think you liked her, that’s all.

Me: I don’t really know her.

Carrie: Have fun! [heart face emoji]

I didn’t have fun.Stacey kept trying to kiss me all night and the truth was I just wasn’t into it or her.

I thought about it. Like, just kiss her and get it over with. I was going to be sixteen and I hadn’t kissed a single girl.

But I only wanted to kiss one girl.

Carrie didn’t return my texts after that for weeks.

It felt like being adrift in the ocean. Like we’d taken the lines off the boat and never started the engine to take us back home.

My head would tell me to let her go. Let, whatever it was we had, go.

But I didn’t. I couldn’t. I just kept texting her until she answered.

Carrie: So are you and Stacey a couple now?

Me: No. We didn’t really get along.

Carrie: Oh. That sucks.

Me: Not really. She’s dating Dillon Le Coeur now.

Carrie: Do you see Annie at all?

Me: Yeah. I wait to go to class until she gets into the school most mornings. And I check on her at lunch. I told you I would. No bullies. Promise.

Carrie: Thanks. I miss her.

Me: She misses you too. But we’re all super pumped about the show getting picked up. HBO BABY! Everyone knows that’s where all the quality shows go.

Carrie: Sometimes I wonder if Mom’s ever going to let me come home.

Me: You’re not coming home for Christmas?

Carrie: My shooting schedule is too tight to come home.

Me: Oh. Okay. Well, Merry Christmas.

Carrie: Merry Christmas. Think of me!