Page 42 of Making the Save
I didn’t do serious relationships, so there was never anything to be jealous about. But before I realized Barry deserved more pity than anger, when he referred to him and Sydney as anusit bothered me.
It really bothered me. Yeah, Barry was harmless, but were there other guys out there who thought they had a connection with Sydney?
“Could you maybe put a robe on or something?” She waved her hand up and down as if trying to show me what she would like covered up.
“I don’t own a robe.”
“I’ll have Beatrice pick you up a robe,” Syd said.
“I don’t want a fucking robe. Listen to me, I need to know. Are you single? Like legit single.”
“What kind of question is that!”
“One you have to answer, Tink.”
“Tink?”
“You look like a furious fairy right now. Tinker Bell is the only fairy I know by name.”
“I am furious. I don’t like having my honor questioned.” There was a new emotion on her expressive face. Outrage. “Do you think I would have gotten drunk married if I was in a relationship with someone else? Don’t answer that. I’ll tell you, I would never. I don’t cheat and I don’t lie, unless it’s to the press. I’m loyal, even in a fake situation. Ask anyone.”
“Got it. I’m sorry.” I rubbed a hand over my face. “But maybe you should have security?”
She patted my shoulder like she was trying to calm me down. I didn’t spend my nights providing free mental health care to my stalkers.
“I swear most of the harassment stuff happens online,” she said. “Barry’s grandmother lives in Malibu and he lives with her, so he has a little more access to me. That’s all. I have security cameras and codes on all the doors and gates on the house. But it doesn’t matter. Unless I can come up with a new album that’s amazing, it won’t even matter. I’ll be irrelevant soon enough.”
“You do that a lot,” I told her. “Make it like you’re not a big deal. You’ve been releasing music for almost a decade. You should be proud of that.”
“I am,” she insisted. “I really am. I just know fame is fleeting and I want to be prepared for what comes next.”
That sounded familiar. I let out a long sigh and turned to look out over the ocean. Now that Barry was gone and the automated lights were off, the deck was dark once again. The half-moon was lit up over the ocean showing me a color I didn’t know that I’d ever seen before.
“I can appreciate that,” I said quietly, the dark seemed like a safe place for secrets. “This body of mine is almost shot. I’ve been thinking about retiring a lot. What that looks like, what comes next. But I can’t see it yet.”
“Your body looks fine,” she said, and ducked her chin to her chest. “To me, I mean, in the dark, but really you should have a robe.”
“I’m not gonna wear a robe.”
“Okay, but they can be really soft. Anyway, I guess I’ll just…”
She jerked her thumb back towards the bedroom.
“You go. I’m going to sleep on the couch.”
“You don’t have to do that. It’s not like Barry’s going to come back. You barked at him. Like, literally barked at him.”
“It’s what I do, Syd. Don’t try to reason with me. There was a threat at the door. I’m going to sleep on this couch until I’m comfortable that the threat no longer exists. It’s just how I’m wired.”
“Okay. I think you’re over-reacting, but the couch is super comfortable. I fall asleep there all the time.”
That meant the cushions and blankets and pillows would smell like her. Suddenly I couldn’t wait to get on that couch.
“Go to bed,” I told her, softly.
I waited until I heard her door close and I laid down on the couch. I punched the bright green pillow until it supported my head just right and pulled the pink and yellow blanket up to my nose and gave it a good sniff.
Some soft lavender soap? A citrus shampoo maybe?