Page 46 of Operation: Return
“Maybe?” He snorted. “I loved you and you didn’t even recognize me.”
She stood and fought against her churning emotions. This wasn’t the time to fight with him. She would say things she regretted later. This was too much of an emotional situation to talk this through with any kind of intelligence.
“I told you. I didn’t recognize you because you acted, and are still acting, so different. Even your hair color is different. Look at yourself. You were never angry with me before. We were always able to have a civil conversation. Even when we weren’t happy with one another, we managed.”
He tossed his hands in the air. “My hair darkened because I used to lighten it. I thought it was the cool thing to do back then. I thought you knew. Maybe we didn’t fight because when we were mad, we jumped in bed.”
Erica let his words hit her like a bucket of ice water. He was right. They had avoided fighting by making up in the most intimate of ways. “We still didn’t fight and I think we’re more mature now.”
“Are you calling me immature for being angry that you didn’t recognize me? My looks haven’t changed that much and you couldn’t see my attitude when I showed up at your doorstep.”
His words were his defenses, she tried to tell herself that. He might mean them in the moment, but she wouldn’t take them the same way if she wasn’t dealing with her missing son. “I can’t have this argument with you right now. My son is missing. He’s all I’ve had for the last six years. The man I loved, and who apparently was still alive, never came to find me. I’m going to go talk to Edwyn and see if he knows anything.”
Cole stepped forward and caught her arm as she headed for the ladder. He’d gone from livid to solemn in the span of a few steps. “Erica, I didn’t come and find you because I was a mess and still processing who I was. In a lot of ways, I was still a mess even when I found you.”
She tugged her arm free because just touching him made her want to forgive, forget, fall into his arms and start over. But if she was going to come at him and tell him to grow up and act his age, she had to do the same. There was too much at stake for any type of casual relationship. She’d never do that again.
“You might have been, but I suppose that releases you from all guilt. I could’ve used your help. We could’ve helped each other. If you had come to me when you returned home, I could’ve reminded you of all the reasons Taylor was a good man, a man worth fighting for. We could’ve gotten the government to make it right. You could’ve been there for Pete. He would’ve loved having you around. I would’ve loved having you around.” She bit her tongue, wanting to tell him she loved him then and still did, but it would fall on deaf ears. He didn’t want her love, he wanted a fight.
“I went through Hell and back again trying to provide everything my son needed for a decent life. Not even a good life, just a decent one. It’s easier for two parents than single ones. Angry or not, at least I would’ve known you were alive.” She reached for the ladder, half expecting him to stop her again.
She stepped on the wrung and rushed down to the barn floor. Junior stood there talking to Dominic.
“Erica, just the woman I was looking for.” Junior strode toward her. He was older than Cole, but not by much. His blue, steady gaze met hers as he stopped right in front of her. “I just talked to Edwyn a few minutes ago. The ransom call has been received. We’re supposed to meet in the dining room in one hour to read through it and decide on a plan of action. Have you seen Cole?”
“He’s—”
“I’m right here,” Cole said from behind her, making her jump. She hadn’t heard him come down the ladder.
Junior glanced behind her. “Good. Edwyn was looking for both of you. Gabby has taken our four guests to the underground until the police are gone and the grounds are secure again.”
She wasn’t sure about The Guardians and didn’t trust them like Cole did. “Will the ranch be completely secure while there are members of this other team here? I know you trust them, but I don’t know them. Pete disappeared right after they got here.”
Dominic stepped forward and tugged his dark camo cap from his head. “Ma’am, I can understand why you wouldn’t be especially trusting. I hope when this is all over, you’ll see that my men will go above and beyond to get your son back and to prove we’re worthy of your trust.”
She nodded, unable to say more. Cole approached her from behind and though he didn’t touch her, she could feel his presence. She wanted to trust him, but until they had a real chance to clear the air, that would never happen.
As they headed for the ranch house, she prayed Pete would return. She hoped she’d be given the chance to have a real heart-to-heart with Cole when she could let go of the past. Her hurt had piled up from her own abandonment by parents she never knew. Maybe that would help him heal from her perceived abandonment with Pete’s father. Once she felt certain he would not hold it against Pete for being his son, reminding him of the life he lost, then they could move forward, if she ever got that chance.
If not, she’d have to move on if their relationship was never as deep as she thought it was.
ChapterEighteen
Cole glanced at his watch and headed for the kitchen. He had about forty-five minutes to test his theory before he had to be back up for the meeting with Edwyn. The meeting that Edwyn was probably having with the police right now would come first, buying him time. He’d have brought Erica with himifshe’d wanted to be near him.
He couldn’t really blame her for that. He’d let himself go without a filter and after being a marine, going without a filter was dangerous. He should’ve walked away. Instead, he’d taken out his hurt on a woman who was already hurting. Not his finest hour.
He tried not to let her rejection sting. She didn’t know him anymore, not really. He had to earn a place in her trust and he hadn’t done that yet. When he did, she could tell him the truth.
“Cole, why don’t you go check on the guests in the protected area?” Junior said. “Gabby has been down there with them since we heard about Pete.”
Cole gave a nod and headed off toward the kitchen, taking one last glance at Teddy’s office and the reminder of Erica. No, he wouldn’t think of this as a permanent setback. One conversation wasn’t going to change things.
Victoria stood in the middle of her kitchen, looking a little lost. “Oh, Cole. I suppose you need to go down and check on them.” She leaned against the counter. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” She shook her head. “I know I should be in here making food to feed all these men looking for that poor boy, but I can’t make my feet move. It’s like I’m rooted to the spot.”
He’d always cared about Victoria because she had a heart for every single man and every single guest who came to Wayside. She was easy to care about. “Maybe you should take a minute and talk to Brendon. It’s going to be okay.”
She closed her eyes, then gave a nod. “You’re right. He could probably help me put this in perspective. And I am needed, even if I feel useless stuck in this kitchen.” She tugged her apron off and tossed it on the counter. “Thank you, Cole.”