Page 52 of After the Fall

A scowl crept onto my face. “It’s none of your business.” I had never spoken so boldly. I felt free.

He blinked rapidly, his face a mixture of surprise and unease. He dropped his fork and pushed his plate toward the edge of the table. “It seems I’ve lost my appetite as well.”

If the moodin the restaurant felt cold, the drive back to the mansion was downright frigid. As Wyatt navigated the busy downtown streets, an awkward silence descended upon the Lamborghini.

Neither of us wanted to throw the first stone, it seemed. I stared out the window with crossed arms, biting my lip, afraid of the words that threatened to spill out; words I wouldn’t be able to take back.

I was the first to break. As we turned down his street, nearing the gate, I screamed, “Stop.”

Wyatt slammed on the brakes, scanning for danger. Satisfied there wasn’t any, he turned to me puzzled.

“I’m not ready to go home yet,” I sighed.

Home. If I was being fully honest, the mansion had never felt like home. Home was Savannah, and our mismatched furniture. Home was my mom and dad, sneaking a kiss under the Christmas tree as we exchanged presents. Home was where I felt welcomed, and could be myself.

Wyatt shifted the car into park and dropped his head against the headrest.

Behind the iron bars, the mansion looked especially cold and forbidding. I remembered how excited I was to move in, and start building a life and future with the man I loved. But no matter how hard we tried, it felt like we were always backtracking. For every step forward that we took, it was another two steps back. It was rules, and rogues, and lostmemories. It was my mom’s illness, and my dad’s reappearance. It was Valentina, and the Carders. And at the heart of it all, it was sacrifice.

Wyatt had given up everything to be with me. And I’d given up my dream of having a family of my own. Maybe no matter how great your intentions, you can never fully run from who you are.

Wyatt was a sasquatch. I was human. As long as Wyatt was CEO of Grandview, he’d have to mingle and schmooze as a playboy billionaire, a life filled with the Valentinas of the world. I swallowed hard, as I pushed away the thought of them naked together. She didn’t belong in this moment; she didn’t deserve to be here in the car with us.

All I’d ever wanted was a simple life. One where I could grow old with my husband, and watch my children grow up, and maybe even have children of their own.

I clutched at my belly, feeling immense loss at the dream I’d given up. My stomach cramped from the butterflies that were fluttering nervously over what I knew, deep down, needed to be done.

“Are you okay?” He sounded hesitant, like he knew what was coming.

I kept my eyes trained out the window, not trusting myself to look at him. “Do you remember the first day we met? You were stopped in this exact spot.”

“Of course I remember.” His hand rested lightly on my thigh and he gave it a gentle squeeze. “That day changed everything for me. For us.”

“It was also the last time my life felt… easy.”

“Harper.” He spoke gently. “If this is about Valentina, I know I fucked up. I should have been honest with you from the get-go. I just didn’t want to hurt you.” He took my silence asencouragement to continue. “With Valentina, it was just sex. It meant nothing. That’s why I didn’t tell you. Please. Look at me.”

I pulled my eyes away from the window and turned to him. His beautiful dark eyes were wide with concern. I shook my head. “This is not about Valentina. At least, it’s not anymore.” I stared at the large hand covering my thigh, knowing that if I didn’t get the words out, I might never.

“Yes, I was pissed off when I realized you’d lied to me. Twice. But it’s more than that. I’m tired of everything being so… hard. I don’t fit in here. No one likes me, except maybe Fiona.”

“Fiona definitely likes you,” he whispered. His lips curved upward in a sad, forced smile. “And don’t I count? I love you, Harper. I know I’ve fucked up a lot lately, but I can fix things. I know I can.” He lifted his hand to brush away the tear that had tumbled onto my cheek. “Please. Let me at least try.”

I shook my head. “There are some things that can’t be fixed, Wyatt. Like my memories. And…” I cradled my hand against my stomach, the pain of longing too great to ignore any longer. “I’m lying to myself if I say that I’m okay giving up on my dream of having a family.”

Wyatt reeled backwards as if he’d been stabbed by a dagger. “Harper…” His words choked out. “I…” His eyes shone and for a brief second, I wondered if he was about to experience human emotion. But just as quickly, they darkened to an inky black. “You know I would do anything for you. I love you. But a baby is the one thing I can’t give you.” His voice sounded strangled, and it hurt to know that I was the cause of his pain.

“I know. And that’s why,” I took a long, deep breath, “This thing between us needs to end.” The words choked out.

“This thing? You mean, falling in love with my soulmate?” He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “So what, then? I’m just supposed to forget about you, and this…” His eyes narrowed as he made air quotes, “thing between us?”

My hands fidgeted in my lap. “I don’t know how this works. All I know is that I need to learn how to live without you, one day at a time.”

“What about your dad? And the Carders? I promise I won’t stop until we take them down, and you and your family are safe. A promise is a promise.”

“Thank you. I appreciate that. Maybe we could try being friends?”

His laugh was hollow, lacking its usual warmth. “I don’t do friends.”