Page 10 of Rescued Love
Why would I want to find out? It’s not like he made the best first impression.
That doesn’t mean there isn’t more beneath the jerk layer.
Nope. Nope. It doesn’t matter if there’s more beyond his bad attitude or not. I’ve never been okay with someone speaking to me the way he did. It was demoralizing and it dismissed everything important to me.
I didn’t even get the chance to defend myself. That’s the worst part. Not only did he barely let me say anything, but I could tell by the look on his face that he wasn’t going to hear anything I had to say.
Nathan decided who I was with a single look and that’s all there is to it.
My gut twists uncomfortably at the memory.
I’ve always been liked, so having someone think so badly of me without any reason doesn’t sit well with me, but it’s deeper than that as well. The thought of Nathan thinking the worst of me makes me feel off balance. I don’t even understand why.
I should be channeling my inner bad bitch and ranting about how he’s an idiot and railing against his assumptions. I’m finding I don’t have it in me. Maybe it’s because I can’t shakethe feeling that there was more to it than him not knowing or trusting me. There was something much deeper in his eyes, a distrust for humanity, which made me feel like my chest was cracking open for him.
Or maybe I’m just blind and want to make excuses for a jerk.
If I knew how long Nathan is going to be around it would be easier to figure out of I need to even worry about it or not. For all I know, he’s already gone back to wherever he came from.
Sadie’s voice pulls me from thoughts about a man I should not be thinking about, “Have you visited Midnight today?”
The sly smile on her face when I look up at her tells me everything I need to know. She knows how much that kitten has come to mean to me.
“Of course,” I chirp brightly. “Midnight was my first stop this morning.”
“Good,” the relief in her sigh has me wondering if I’ve been spreading bad vibes all over the shelter for the past few days. I hope not, but I can’t do anything about it now. If only I could shake the lingering feelings from my interaction with Nathan. “I’m going to start giving walks to the pups,” she informs me with a smile.
Before I can say anything else, she’s out the door and I can’t help but chuckle under my breath. I don’t blame her excitement at all. There’s something about liberating the animals from their cages for a little bit of normal that just makes you feel good.
If I weren’t dealing with the paperwork I’ve been putting off for the last few days then I would join her. I’ve been trying to get everything squared away in my office but haven’t been able to focus. All because of Nathan.
With a shake of my head, I put my head down and deal with the business of running the shelter. When I was just a volunteer, I had no idea about this side of making everything run. I do now.
It’s not the best part of my job, not by a long shot, but it’s a necessary evil. I’ll happily drown in paperwork knowing that it is what keeps a roof over the heads of animals that need it, food in their bellies, and the hope of forever homes in their hearts.
I’m finishing inputting the last invoice I have on my desk when my best friend, Hailey, walks into my office. I almost let out a groan, but hold it in.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my best friend dearly and I’m always happy to see her. But I’ve also been avoiding her for the last few days and the look on her face tells me I won’t be able to get away with it any longer.
She’s in full-on teacher mode, her face stern and set in a ‘take no shit’ look I’m sure has the kids in her class sitting up a little straighter. Hell, it has the same effect on me too and I’m a grown adult.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” Hailey’s voice is full of accusation. When I hold my hands up to start to placate her she shakes her head. “No, don’t even try to lie to me.”
I do let the groan out now and rest my head on my desk. The room fills with the soft sounds of her shuffling around and I’m sure she’s making herself comfortable the same way she has so many times before.
We’ve been best friends for so long that I don’t remember a time when we weren’t joined at the hip. Our friendship has always been easy because we complement each other. We also push each other when we need it.
Last year, Hailey found the love of her life. I’m so damn happy for her and we’ve had to work hard to ensure our friendship hasn’t changed too much. Sure, all her free time isn’t spent with me anymore, but I understand why.
I’m not jealous of the time Hailey spends with Wesley. I can’t think of anyone else who deserves to be loved the way he loves her more. My best friend has always deserved the best and she’s found it with him.
But there are moments when I’m all alone when the doubts over whether I’ll find the same creeps in.
It’s not like there are a lot of options in Sweetwater Valley. The thought of being old and alone scares the hell out of me. I think it’s part of the reason why I haven’t adopted Midnight yet. It would get me one step closer to the cat lady persona I’ve been avoiding for years.
I want love. I want someone at my back who will support me, listen to me, and love me like they can’t live without me. Maybe it’s too much to ask and I should start thinking about settling.
Hailey pulls me out of my spiraling thoughts, her voice closer and much softer, “What’s wrong?”