Page 42 of Healing Bonds

I could do this.

I repeated those mantras over and over in my head as I opened the truck door and stepped out, wobbling slightly in my heels before finding my balance.

I could do this.

Ryan was quick to grab the small present wrapped in bright pink paper that we got online for Summer, and he came to my side, grabbing my hand in his and squeezing it tightly.

Ryan believed in me.

We started up the small driveway that was lined with cars—some I recognized, and others were new. The fear of being around strangers on a day like today unsettled me.

I was strong.

We stopped in front of the white oak door, and I raised my finger to press the glowing doorbell, my heart knocking hard against my breastbone as it beat loudly, blood rushing through my ears. For a moment, I thought I was going to faint.

I was okay.

There was a brief pause, just long enough for doubt to settle in. The door swung open, and Celine’s flushed face grinned at me. I was transported back to the day that I burst into her house after the hurricane all those years ago. The same grin was on her face today, except love was shining in her dazzling, blue eyes instead of confusion.

I could do this.

She rushed forward and tackled me in a hug like she would have in our college days, and relief made my shoulders sag. I let go of Ryan’s hand to hold her, returning her tight hug. She squealed and squeezed me, words flying out of her mouth so fast, I could barely understand her.

“Ames! You came! Oh, I’m so happy!” She shook me a little before pulling away with a blush and glancing at Ryan.

“Jeez, what about me?” He laughed, going in to hug his sister, who just shrugged and beamed at me over his shoulder.

“You look absolutely stunning in that dress. And your hair! I freaking love it!” She touched a stray lock before hugging me again. Guilt consumed me. She’d obviously missed me so much, had needed me, and I’d been drowning in my grief, unable to bring my head above the water long enough to realize Celine still loved me and wanted me by her side.

“That’s what I said,” Ryan chimed in, his hand settling on the small of my back, a gentle reminder to breathe.

“I’m sorry we’re so late,” I rushed, remembering that I hadn’t said a word. She smiled and shrugged, the sound of clanging dishes coming from inside the house.

“Better late than never, am I right? Come in already! Everyone is so excited to see you.” She pulled me in, and the warmth from Ryan’s hand disappeared as he closed the front door behind us with a chuckle.

“Where’s Ace and, uh, Summer?” He cleared his throat before he said her name, a worried expression crossing his face. My chest tightened. Was everyone going to be so cautious around me today? If so, it wasn’t going to help.

“Outside in the pool. Oh, she absolutely loves the pool, especially when she’s with her daddy.” She sighed, a dreamy look appearing in her eyes.

Pain sliced through my chest so sharply, it almost brought me to my knees. I glanced at Ryan and reminded myself to breathe. This was my best friend, my sister-in-law. My niece, my goddaughter. I could handle this. I was ready. I was healing. Right?

“Mom and Dad here?” Ryan asked. Celine nodded, walking through the house filled with people I didn’t know. Ryan seemed to know a few faces and greeted them politely as we followed Celine outside where Ace, Summer, and her parents were.

“They’re here, guys!” she screamed, surprising her daughter, who squealed excitedly at the sight of new people.

“Hey! Thanks for coming! It’s so good to see you,” Ace said from the pool, a genuine smile stretching across his face. His hands were wrapped firmly around his now one-year-old daughter, who splashed herself in the face by slapping the water. Her loud squeals twisted my gut.

I couldn’t do this.

I couldn’t stop looking at her—a healthy baby. My little girl would be the same age. They would have been best friends… cousins.

I swallowed the lump threatening to form in my throat and reached for Ryan. His hand found mine instantly, and he was there. I wasn’t alone in my grief. I wasn’t alone anymore.

“Oh, Ryan, Amber! Hello, my children!” Ryan’s mother exclaimed, getting up from her seat to engulf us in a bone crushing, heartwarming embrace. I soaked it in, needing it more than I ever realized.

His father also got up and stood beside us, almost uncomfortably, like he didn’t know what to do with himself, but he was clearly excited to see his son outside of work.

We sat beside his parents and talked. Ryan had a beer in his hand, and Celine handed me a white can with a fruity-flavored drink in it. It helped to calm my nerves. While Ryan talked with his parents, I watched Summer and listened to her giggles and squeals… missing my own little girl.