Page 31 of Playmaker

My heart dropped into my feet and the guilt over what I’d said the other day burrowed even deeper. “No, it’s not too much to ask.” I slid a little closer on the bench. “I’m sorry, Sabrina. I really am. For what I said, and… God, that you have to play with that albatross around your neck. It’s…” I chewed my lip as I searched for the words. “Honestly, knowing what you’ve been up against all this time—it’s even more impressive that you’re as good as you are.”

Sabrina stared at me as if she hadn’t heard me right.

“I’ve always envied you as a player,” I admitted. “Yeah, I thought you had it easy getting to that level, but I always wished I could play as well as you. But realizing now that you had someone holding you back all this time?” I whistled, shaking my head. “That’sincredible.”

Some color bloomed in her cheeks, and she managed a small smile. “Thanks. I just wish other people could see it.” Shedropped her gaze to her wringing hands. “I wish my dad could see it.”

“Fuck him.”

Her head snapped up.

I shrugged. “He’s done everything he can to stop you. The best revenge is to play like hell and show the world that you’re an even bigger generational talent than he ever was.”

Sabrina’s lips parted.

“I get that you want his approval,” I went on. “I would too. But since he’s going to be a dick about it, I say make sure that whenever he talks trash about women’s hockey—especially you playing it—people are like, ‘bruh, have youseenwhat your daughter is doing out there?’”

She stared at me, then laughed. “So, play so well that he looks like an ass whenever he talks shit?”

“Exactly!”

Her laughter had some more feeling this time. “I’ve always said most of my success has come from spite and stubbornness. Might as well stay on that track.”

“That’s the spirit.” I held up my fist, and she bumped it. Sobering a little, I said, “And I mean it—I’m sorry.”

“I know.” To my surprise, Sabrina gathered me into a hug. As her damp hair cooled the side of my face, she said, “Maybe it wasn’t so bad, because I think this conversation is exactly what I needed.”

My heart fluttered with relief. “Still. I’m glad this helped, but I’m sorry about what I said.”

“I know you are.” Drawing back, she smiled at me, oblivious to how utterly gorgeous she was, even under the harsh locker room lights. “We’re good.”

“Okay. Okay, great.” I laughed just to get my breath moving. “What do you say we go find something to eat? We’ve got warmups in a few hours.”

“Sounds good.” She gestured over her shoulder. “Let me put on my shoes.”

As she did that, I basked in the broken tension and the settling dust. Maybe she was right and this conversation was something she needed. Maybe the end did justify the means.

But I still felt awful for what I’d said and for what a bitch I’d been to her.

And I was more grateful than she could imagine for her forgiveness.

Chapter 14

Sabrina

I probably shouldn’t have been surprised that settling things with Lila made playing alongside her a million times easier. It was never good for a team when two players were at odds; it was something people could work around to a certain extent, but having teammates who disliked each other was far from ideal.

I was a little worried I’d been too quick to forgive her, but honestly, I was just so damn relieved that we’d put this thing to bed, I embraced our new dynamic. She seemed to be genuinely contrite, and it wasn’t her fault she’d heard all the same poison about me that everyone else did. Could I really fault anyone for believing it?

Or maybe I just couldn’t cope with conflict on my team because I got so damn much of it at home. Did I let things with her go too fast? Yeah, I might’ve. But I couldn’t justify dragging it out because that was miserable forme.

For the rest of our teammates, too. Now that Lila and I could be in the same room and on the same ice without wanting to gnash our teeth, I felt even guiltier for the tension we’d brought into the locker room. Though none of our teammates had said anything about it—at least not to me—they weren’t stupid, andit was clear from the new general air of relaxation that they’d picked up on the bad vibes. Definitely not good for anyone—least of all the goddamned team captain—to be causing that much stress for her teammates.

Way to go, Lila and Sabrina!

But we were good now.

Practices were easier. Games were easier. Even traveling for away games or sharing a meal with teammates was easier now that no one had to make sure Lila and I didn’t end up near each other. Now that we sometimes sat together, I realized how much our teammates had been subtly keeping us apart. The lack of tension now made everyone’s previous discomfort painfully obvious.