Page 138 of Sunday Morning
“You weren’t driving that car. Brenda was.”
“No,” I whispered, “I wasn’t. But we would not have left our camping trip that early. I chose to go to Nashville with you. So …” I bowed my head and closed my eyes for a moment. “I went from being a people-pleaser to not caring about anyone but myself.”
“Stop.”
“It’s true.”
Isaac pulled over along the side of the road and put the truck inPark.“Do you regret going to Nashville? Is this my fault too?”
“No. Yes.” I shook my head a half dozen times. “It’s not that simple.”
“It is, Sarah. It’s that simple. You can’t live with regret over something that you can’t change.”
“Yes! I can.” I opened the door and hopped out, walking along the side of the road with my head bowed and my hands on my hips.
Isaac followed me. “Just stop.”
“What if thisismy punishment?” I breathed faster, feeling on the verge of hyperventilating. “What if this is my lesson? Heather. Joanna. Matt. And now your dad is selling the land, which means my parents will have to move. How is this not my fault?” I stopped, pressing my hands to the side of my head. “I let you tempt me. I let you make me think nothing mattered more than what I wanted in life. If I just would have listened to my gut, everything wouldn’t have fallen apart. They’d be alive. Matt would not hate me, and he wouldn’t know about the affair. It’sallmyfault.” I stared at Isaac with wide eyes drowning in tears as I covered my mouth with a sob.
He deflated, pinching the bridge of his nose as several cars sped by us. “You mean it’smyfault. Just fucking say it.” Blowing out a long breath, he looked at the sky for a brief moment. “Do you think I wanted to like my brother’s girlfriend? The pastor’s daughter? Do you think I did this for any other reason than I simply fell for you from the moment you smiled at me on Easter Sunday?” He shrugged. “Yeah. Maybe I’m selfish. Maybe after giving up everything for everyone else, I wanted something for myself. But fuck, baby”—his eyes reddened—“I want you.” He pressed his hand to his chest, clawing at it. “I feel it so damn deep in my heartnothingelse matters. And if that’s selfish, then I’m guilty. If you need me to take the blame for everything that’s happened, I’ll bear the burden. I’ll take everything as long as that includes you.”
He took my face in his hands and wiped the pads of his thumbs along my wet cheeks. “I can’t bring them back. But if you give me the chance, I’ll make everything else right. Can you give me that chance?”
I couldn’t hear my own thoughts around Isaac. My heart always beat too loudly, too quickly. With him so close to me, there weren't thoughts, only feelings. “Yes,” I whispered.
“Go in the house.It’s hot,” Isaac said as I watched him put Anakin in the barn.
“I’ll wait.”
He grinned. “Matt is in Michigan. My dad is probablyon a horse somewhere or covered in grease fixing a tractor. And if my mom is inside, she'll be thrilled to see you.”
I relinquished a tiny nod, retrieved my bags and guitar from the truck, and sulked toward the house. Why would Violet be thrilled to see me? I broke Matt’s heart. Did falling in love with Isaac make up for that? After all, she did say she hoped he’d find a nice girl like me.
Maybe we’d bond over our commonality: we were cheaters.
But I wasn’t supposed to know that. I promised Isaac we would never discuss it again, not with each other nor anyone else.
“Hey, young lady.”
I turned just before reaching the front door.
Violet walked toward me in her overalls, boots, and a basket of eggs hooked over her arm. She set it down and hugged me.
“Hi.” I stiffened as she hugged me.
She rested her hands on my shoulders, holding me at arm’s length. “You need to go home. Your mom is beside herself, missing you something fierce.”
I returned a sad smile.
“Your dad misses you too.” She winked, releasing me and grabbing the basket.
I followed her into the house.
“I suppose Isaac told you we’re moving to North Carolina.”
“He did.” I toed off my shoes and set my stuff by them.
“We’re building a cabin in the mountains outside of Ashville.” She sounded excited. “It would be a fresh start after years of running this ranch.” She breathed a contentedsigh while setting the basket on the counter and washing her hands. “Lord knows weneeda fresh start.”