Page 17 of Sunday Morning

Of course, he smirked. That wasn’t a surprise. It was my grin, coming out of nowhere, that felt most inappropriate.

“We need to talk,” Matt said.

Was he breaking up with me? Why did he sound so serious?

I had a metallic fuchsia prom dress with puffy sleeves and pumps dyed to match. We couldn’t break up before prom or before the end of summer. My family was the Corys’ favorite charity case.

We stopped at his El Camino, where he deposited his bag in the back and swapped his cleats for his dirty white Adidas high tops.

“Isaac asked me if we used a condom,” Matt said, peering down at me through squinted eyes.

I nibbled the inside of my cheek. “What did you tell him?”

“Sarah!” He parked his hands on his waist and leaned toward my face. “So, youdidtell him we had sex?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head in frustration. “Isaac’s just stirring up trouble. He likes to pester you. And you let him. If you didn’t have this reaction to him, then he wouldn’t do it to you. But you let him get under your skin, so he continues to do it. And he wanted to get a reaction from me on Easter, so I may have neither confirmed nor denied that we’ve had sex.” I shifted my gaze to the influx of people in the parking lot, climbing into their cars.

“Why would you want him to think we’ve done it?”

I fidgeted with the hem of my T-shirt and shrugged. “Because sometimes I wish we’d do more than we do. I feellike everyone is doing it except me—us.” I quickly corrected myself. “Except us.” Of course, I meantus. Not me with some other guy. Definitely not me and Isaac.

Matt scoffed. “Your dad would kill me.”

“I wouldn’t tell my dad. Duh. Do you really think I’d casually mention it during dinner? ‘Hey, Dad, what time is choir practice? And by the way, I’m having sex with Matt. Can you pass the butter’?”

Matt eyed me with an unreadable expression. “Do you want to do it? What if I go to college, and something happens, and we don’t stay together? Will you regret?—”

“No,” I said a little too quickly. “Matt,” I sighed, “I love you. You’re my first love, and I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend. But I don’t want to get married and pop out babies right now. Don’t you want to go to college and have all those new experiences without feeling anchored to this place?”

Or me?

I shrugged. “We’re comfortable with each other. Would it be so wrong to be each other’s first without it meaning more? But it’s up to you. I mean, doyouwant to?”

We discussed sex like going to a movie.

He did a terrible job at hiding his grin. “Maybe.” He glanced to the side as Kevin got into his burgundy Ford Fairlane. “See ya,” Matt said to him.

After Kevin backed out of his spot, Matt returned his attention to me. “But I know everyone who works at the store, the pharmacy, and the gas station. How am I supposed to buy protection?”

I couldn’t believe we were having this conversation.

“Get one from Tyler or Andy.”

Matt shook his head. “I can’t tell anyone, and neither canyou. If this gets out, if even one person finds out, everyone will know.”

“We’re adults.” I crossed my arms over my chest. That was my new favorite line.

“Adults who are still in school, living with our parents, and financially dependent on them.”

I hated Matt’s overabundance of common sense. There was no need to worry about him getting anyone pregnant and driving them two hours north to Planned Parenthood.

“Do your parents use them?” I asked.

He winced. “What? Gross. No, Sarah. I don’t know what my parents use because I don’t like to think about them doing that.” He raked his fingers through his messy hair.

“Maybe I can snoop around in my parents’ room for something.”

“Sarah …” Matt shook his head while squinting at the sky. “No. I can’t do that.”