Page 35 of Sunday Morning
Still, I felt aroused.
Aroused because I’d been thinking about sex—a lot.
Aroused because I liked kissing Matt.
Aroused because I thought of Isaac’s body pressed to mine while he helped me play the guitar.
Aroused from his compliment, even if he wasn’t serious.
“You look pretty. That dress makes the blue in your eyes pop. You have great eyes. Does Matty tell you that? They’re really stunning.”
And I couldn’t get the image out of my head of Isaac smirking after telling me he said Matt should give me an orgasm first.
“I love you,” Matt murmured, kissing his way down my neck.
“I love you too,” I whispered to the only boy I had ever loved.
It might not have been the way my father or God wanted me to lose my virginity, but it was love (of sorts), and that’s all that mattered to me.
“Tell me if you want to stop,” Matt said, palming my breast over my dress while he continued to pump his pelvis against mine.
“Don’t stop,” I whispered, closing my eyes and lifting my eager hips while my heels dug into the seat. I wanted to be a real woman more than anything.
I wanted to feel the desire and emotion conveyed in my favorite song lyrics.
He kneeled with one knee between my legs and theother barely on the edge of the seat while pushing his pants and briefs midway down his legs and rolling on a condom.
This was it. I was on the verge of giving my virginity to Matt Cory. And while I wasn’t sure any man “deserved” a woman’s innocence, Matt was certainly worthy of it. Giving my virginity to my first love felt special,wrong, but special.
He slid off my underwear and set them on the dash while I gathered my dress in my hands. I wanted to watch the way I always gawked when a nurse took my blood, gave me a shot, or the time I got stitches in my knee after falling out of a tree at Heather’s house.
Heather …
Was she still with Isaac? What were they doing? Was he having sex with her?
Matt teased his finger between my spread legs.
I bit my bottom lip because it felt different, not what I expected.
“Do you like that?” he asked.
I nodded, but I wasn’t sure if I did or didn’t like it. I wanted him to touch me a little higher, where I liked to touch myself. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell him or show him.
“Does that feel good?”
It hit me; he thought he was giving me an orgasm like Isaac had told him to do.
Again, I nodded, and I wanted to shift my hips so he’d hit the spot that might have actually led to an orgasm, but first-time jitters paralyzed me. So, instead, I closed my eyes and breathed heavier and faster like I did when I touched myself. But it was difficult because I wasn’t feeling anything spectacular.
“Yes,” Iwhispered.
Matt’s hand disappeared, and my eyes opened just as he guided the head of his erection to my entrance. He pressed inside of me, and it felt like everything in my body tightened up to prevent the invasion, despite telling myself to relax.
In return, Matt’s face twisted with intensity as he leaned forward with his hands on either side of my head and pushed into me a little more.
It hurt.
I knew that it would, but I thought he’d slide in a little easier, and the pain would be all mine. However, the look on his face resembled the grimace I got when I put on a new pair of pantyhose that hadn’t been stretched out yet.