Page 77 of Sunday Morning
Brenda Swensen.
I didn't know whether Wesley Cory's decision to bring his family to an open bench three rows below Brenda and her friends disgusted or impressed me. Brenda locked eyes with Wesley for a moment, and they exchanged subtle, secretive smiles. I knew those smiles all too well.
Her friends, however, didn’t seem privy to anything, which, oddly enough, impressed me. I was good at keeping secrets, but not like a vault. I kept secrets from the necessary people, but not from everyone. Was Brenda having an affair with a fifty-two-year-old man without tellinganyone? I couldn’t imagine.
I did the math. Wesley was thirty-one with one child and a pregnant wife when Brenda was born.
“Your mom said this is your first rodeo. Are you excited?” Violet asked, sliding on her sunglasses since we faced the setting sun.
“I think so. As long as no animals are hurt.”
Matt grabbed my hand and chuckled. “Sarah thinks roping calves is cruel.”
“Oh, they’re fine, sweetie. Don’t worry about it,” Violet tried to reassure me, but I knew what I’d seen.
“I love you,” Matt whispered in my ear before kissing my cheek.
He said it all the time. And that should have been a good thing, but it wasn’t. He said it so much that it felt less genuine, like the cashier at the grocery store who asked how I was doing. She didn’t care. It was just something that people said.
We were going through the motions, but they felt emotionless because we had an expiration date. Matt knew it, but he seemed not to care. Did he think it was a good idea to go full throttle all summer and then just abruptly end?
Granted, I was partially to blame. After all, I encouraged the future split one minute, only to suggest having sex the next. But I never wanted it to mean more than sex.
Intercourse.
Throwing our virginities to the wind.
Gaining a little experience.
As we watched the events, I couldn’t help but stare at Wesley and peek over my shoulder at Brenda. Then Violet nudged me, and I thought she was about to ask why I kept checking over my shoulder.
“There he is.” She nodded toward Isaac on his horse behind the gate. “I have such handsome boys. I hope he finds a girl likeyou, Sarah.”
I rolled my lips together and nodded several times.
The gates opened, and the calf didn’t stand a chance. I focused on Violet’s oldest—herhandsomeson—until he jumped off his horse and tied the calf.
Matt laughed as I tucked my chin and curled my shoulders inward while cringing. He wrapped his arm around me as if he could protect me. When I risked a glance up, Isaac was strutting back to his horse, adjusting his cowboy hat while peering up at me with an unreadable expression as Matt kissed the side of my head.
This time, I had no choice but to stay for the entire rodeo, but I didn’t have to be an idle spectator, so I excused myself.
“Are there outhouses?” I asked, knowing that there were.
“Over there,” Matt pointed. “Want me to come with you?”
“No. I’ve got it. I’m going to grab another Pepsi. Can I get you another one?”
He shook his head. “I’m good. Thanks.” He scooted back to let me squeeze past him.
I meandered past the concession stand and made my way to the outhouses, but I wasn’t sure I needed to pee bad enough to use the stink box.
As I passed the trucks and trailers and the loudspeaker faded a bit, I heard a familiar tune. Turning, I followed the sound, which led me to Isaac’s truck. He was sitting in the passenger’s seat with the door open and boots crossed in the open window while he strummed his guitar. I had never seen anything sexier.
He had a toothpick in his mouth, and I wondered if it was a replacement for his beloved cigarettes.
“Come here, gorgeous,” he said with a hint of a Southern drawl that made me shiver.
Sometimes, I detected that same accent when Wesley talked, but I never noticed it with Matt or Violet.