Page 48 of Wanting Mr Black
“We promised no more running.”
“We also promised no more lies, but look what’s happened.”
“We need to talk about this. We can’t do that if you fuck off.”
I’m furious. Even now, he’s trying to control the situation. “Don’t you dare try to make me feel bad after what you just told me. Yesterday, you were talking about the future and kids. What a total fucking joke. How can you even think about those things when there’s still so much I don’t even know about you?”
“There isn’t.”
“Yes, there bloody is!” I snap. “What about your stab wound that I can’t ask you about and that bloody sordid club you used to go to, which you’re so reluctant to talk about?” I glare at him, incensed. “You still don’t get it, do you? You’re constantly lying to me by omission. I can’t be with someone who can’t be honest with me. I can’t live a lie …”
“You’re not. I’ve told you why I didn’t tell you about the car accident …”
I close the zipper of the holdall. I’m in no mood for listening to any more of his bullshit. “I’m not sure this is right,” I blurt.
“What do you mean?”
“You and me. Whether we’re right together.”
He shakes his head slightly in disbelief. “You’re pissed off. You don’t mean this.”
Right now, I want to hurt him like he’s hurt me. My grip tightens on the holdall, and the words keep flying. “Maybe it’s all moving too fast. Maybe we should take some time out.”
Anger dances in his eyes. “I’m not taking any time out, and I don’t fucking want to slow anything down, and neither do you.”
“I don’t know what I want anymore. The more I learn about you, the more I’m pushed away.”
His tall, broad frame fills the doorway, blocking my escape route. I fix him with a look.
“Get out of my way.”
“No.”
I’m determined not to waver. “Move,” I demand.
He shakes his head.
Now, he’s really pissing me off.
“Get out of my way!” I yell.
“If you think I’m letting you walk out of here, then you’re wrong.” His volume matches mine, but I’m not shrinking backthis time. He looks like a man who fears he’s about to lose it all, but he should have thought about that before lying to me again.
I push myself forward determinedly, so I’m half-in, half-out of the door, as far as he’ll let me. I’m not staying here. He’s not keeping me cooped up while he tries to talk me round or seduce me. I need to get out.
“For us to be together, I need all of you, not half of you, and the problem is, I don’t think you’re ready to give all of yourself to anyone.”
Before he has a chance to react, I bring my leg up and knee him in the balls. He folds in half like a pack of cards, clasping his privates and groaning, providing me with the perfect opportunity to escape.
Twenty-Four
Idrive to Lucy’s like a maniac, my vision permanently obscured by tears, my head all over the place. My happily ever after has suffered more shakes than a snow globe, and I’m not sure it can survive this one. I abandon my car outside, grab my holdall from the boot, and pray to God she is still home and hasn’t already left for Ibiza.
I knock on the front door and ignore my phone vibrating in my back pocket. I’ve got nothing to say to him.
I breathe a sigh of relief as the door swings open to reveal Lucy, dressed in black shorts and a yellow vest top, her suitcase ready and waiting in the hall behind her.
“Oh, hi, Soph. I thought you were my taxi to the airport.”