Page 16 of Ex Marks the Spot
I’ve shocked us both—me, that I was able to get through it, and her, that I said it in the first place.
Hartley moves her head back and forth. “Wh-what are you talking about? We’re both in college. That doesn’t put us at two different points.”
“You’re getting ready to graduate, and I still have a year left. I don’t even know where I’m doing graduate school or where I’ll end up after that.”
“I thought we’d figure that out together.”
So did I.
“I don’t want to hold you back. If we stayed together, you’d put your life on pause for who knows how long and you shouldn’t have to do that.”
Hartley’s brows bunch together. “Court, where is this coming from? What happened at that bachelor party?”
I answered my goddamn phone!I shout in my head. Outwardly, I release a heavy sigh and cross my arms against the rubber band forming around my chest. “Nothing happened, other than me taking a good hard look at reality. You deserve a life I can’t give you.”
That, at least, is the truth.
But she’s not buying it.
“Uh-uh.” She shakes her head. “Everything was fine on Friday before you left, and all the months before that. There’s no way you went from ‘I love you, babe. See you Sunday,’ to ‘I’ve had an epiphany about my life and it doesn’t include you anymore.’ Something happened at that bachelor party.”
Before I can respond, her eyes go wide and her mouth falls slack. “You were with someone.” It comes out in a whisper, like she’s testing the words before giving them a voice.
I did the same thing on the way home—thought that maybe I’d just tell her I got drunk and hooked up with an exotic dancer or a bartender or someone from high school—but the thing about crafting a convincing lie is using as much truth as possible. For example:
“There’s no one else.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Well then I can’t help you.”
“I’m not asking for help.”
“What do you want then?” I push away from the dresser and pace the carpet. “I told you nothing happened. I can’t make it any clearer than that. Why are you making this so difficult?”
She’s off the bed in a flash, flinging her arms out wide. “Why amImaking this so difficult? Pardon the hell out of me for not understanding why the man I was considering spending the rest of my life with would throw everything away for a weekend fling and then lie about it. Quit acting like a coward and at least have the goddamn decency to tell me the truth.”
I am, I am, I fucking am!
My lungs choose this moment to malfunction, and my stomach threatens to follow suit. I didn’t practice a closing speech on the way here and really, there’s nothing left to say anyway.
So I leave.
I walk out of her room and out of her apartment and out of her life.
I make it halfway across the parking lot before retching on the cracked concrete.
Wendell swings his gaze to the ball of anger simmering beside me. “How do you feel after hearing Court’s explanation?”
“I feel stabby.”
I swear I see the corners of his lips twitch.
“And why’s that?” he continues.
“Because if he’s even telling the truth, his explanation means he doesn’trespect my ability to make decisions on my own. I didn’t need Captain Caveman to barge in and decide my future for me.”
“I wasn’t barging in. I was trying to keep you from sacrificing a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”